Aw, poor Lincoln. I'm sorry you're dealing with this... I have no real experience in this area. My cousin's dog "leaks" a lot. It's not submissive/fear peeing, just that she can't often control her bladder. Are you sure it's fear based behavior and not something more medically oriented? In any case, my cousin just has her wear diapers sometimes and also swears by canine chiropractic - she claims that since she has been taking her for chiropractic treatments, her peeing/leaking issues have dramatically decreased. It's not something I personally know much about, but this particular cousin has been a vet tech for 20 years and I've always trusted her advice/feedback.

Also, no - I don't think you're terrible for wanting another dog at this stage.

 

LOL my dog's name is Lincoln, too and when I saw this, I first thought someone was posting some nasty rumor or something and I panicked LOL.

Have you thought about just having her wear doggy diapers? some dogs just never get out of this kind of thing, and it makes me sad that you are rehoming her just because of this

 

Has anyone else gone through this?
Am I terrible for wanting another dog while I am rehoming Lincoln?

yes, for having Individual dogs that have caused destruction/ chaos continuously long term in my home. Lets see, chewing, not getting along with other dogs, being a handful in certain events and situations, and my extreme seniors who at a point in their lives are loosing control of their bodily functions, but still thriving in life to want to be with you. You make it work for them...... Can it be emotionally and physically draining on me and my pocket book, day in and day out. Yes of course you feel on days your at your wits end of exhaustion mentally and physically. Especially on days where I have pulled a muscle in my lower back and needing to help an over 100lb senior on a bad day, get cleaned up and on to some clean bedding. So defeating that your not going to be able to help them. What keeps you going is the dogs, they not complainers, they don't give up, and even when they fail it's not for the lack of having those great days for trying and even accomplishing what we ask of them. Stuff is just stuff. Hurts the pocket book but it can be replaced, or covered, or put up. Areas can be designed that keep them safe. Ive never used them, but Diapers sound fool proof and they may even work as conditioning deterrent, if Lincoln is able to physically control body functions, or be a safety net if Lincoln is truly unable to control body functions. I've only taken in 7 seniors who had issues knowing that no matter what, I'll do what it takes and they can be happy here no matter what their issues are to not bother them about it, until their last breath they take. Every single one of them found their own way to enjoy and be apart of what I could offer for them, no complainers, always trying, and even accomplishing more then I would of ever expected they be able to..

You have to live with yourself, and for the sake of Lincoln, what if your next dog has issues too?? . your not going to get a pity party approval from me. Wish you the best..

 

It's not leaking and definitely submissive. She can hold her bladder and does well, it's just when she goes through times where she gets this fearful look, spreads her back legs and then loses her bladder. Both the vet and behaviorist are certain it's a submissive behavior.

We've tried the diaper and for us the process of taking it off every times she goes out and putting it back on all the time is extremely frustrating.

We are extremely sad about rehoming her and we've been struggling with this. My wife and I agreed about a month ago to rehome her but haven't been able to actually move forward yet.

 

That is sad to rehome a dog just because they are a submissive urninater, they can't help it, and they do make doggy diapers that will save your floors. Heck, you can even get human ones and just cut a hole for the tail.

 

Well re-homing DOES carry the risk that the next family won't be as understanding or put up with it for as long as you have, and the dog might end up in the shelter.

It does sound like a terrible situation and I'm extremely sympathetic (I am dealing with a peeing cat right now which is FAR worse, so I get the conflicted emotions). But I must also agree that re-homing based on a behavior that the dog can't seem to help is, in my mind, a bit selfish. I mean not all of our choices in animals (or heck, even kids) turn out as expected, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices of our own comfort. If the diapers don't work, and it sounds like they do but you just don't like dealing with them (I get it, kind of), then I'm not really sure what your options are here. I mean... this dog has been with you for 2 years, and I can't imagine how much WORSE she may get in a completely new environment, you know? If it's fear/submission-based then re-homing may actually exacerbate the issue.

Have you tried a second opinion with a different behaviorist? Any naturopathic remedies? Calming drops, confidence-boosting activities, things like that?

 

We've tried two behaviorists and confidence-boosting/training activities but having tried other naturopathic remedies.

My wife wants to keep her and get another dog as a playmate to boost her confidence as she seems happier when around dogs of similar size, but I'm concerned the opposite might happen.

 

Hmmm... well it's worth a shot? I mean... if it doesn't work out like that, then you're back to where you are right now. But if it improves things, and makes her happier, then everyone wins.

 

Realistically, there is a good possibility that any dog you get will have bladder issues as they get later on in life.

If that's not something you're willing to deal with, perhaps rethinking if a dog is right for you isn't a bad idea.

 

I'm not here to shame you, but I am here to say you probably shouldn't get another dog. Will you rehome your senior dog when they start having accidents, being unable to control their bladder? Will you rehome a dog with a sensitive stomach that vomits/has explosive diarrhea because you gave them a piece of cheese, or they ate a weird plant outside? Will you rehome a dog that never grows out of the chewing phase, or has separation anxiety?

If you answer is no to these questions then you wouldn't be rehoming Lincoln in the first place, and these are all parts of having a dog. Dogs ruin stuff, they get sick, have accidents, have illnesses, behavior issues, etc.

The diaper is a very viable option but you won't do it simply because you have to take it on and off. Honestly, I'd try a cat, or maybe pet rats (but you have to clean their cage almost every day, so I dunno if that would work for you), or a guinea pig or something. Or fish.

 

The diaper is a very viable option but you won't do it simply because you have to take it on and off. Honestly, I'd try a cat, or maybe pet rats (but you have to clean their cage almost every day, so I dunno if that would work for you), or a guinea pig or something. Or fish.

Pretty much every pet you could possibly get is considerably more work than simply taking a diaper off and putting it back on a few times a day.

 

Once every 2-3 weeks is so infrequent. I wouldn't even consider than an issue, tbh.

I mean, if a quieter home CAN be found, she may be happier there, because it sounds like the kids scare her a bit. It's not easy to find a home like that, but maybe.

But if it's just the peeing, yeah, diapers aren't that big a deal. I had a leaky dog who needed diapers and it just wasn't a problem. If you got a new dog, it would take way more time to train that dog to get used to the house. You can scout out the different styles of diapers and see which ones are easier to put on/take off.

 

Once every 2-3 weeks is so infrequent. I wouldn't even consider than an issue, tbh.

Yea, somehow I missed that bit.

Really though, between the two cats there's either throwup or hairball or whatever else about as much as that, maybe even slightly more often. I just... clean it up and go on about my day.

 

I don't think it's terrible to re-home the dog if it's just something you can't handle anymore.

I do think it's wrong to get another dog though. Every dog has issues; you have no way of knowing what those issues are going to be, but there will be at least one, sometimes the last thing you would have ever expected. Sometimes dogs will develop issues later in life and you have to be able to deal with them.

 

All I can add is a dog is a long-term commitment, and there are unforeseen things that may come up during their lifetime that you have not planned on. Besides extreme circumstances if it's something that can be worked on, you work on it, if not you find ways to manage it and you adjust.

I see people all the time get dogs, then an issue comes up and they re-home, then the shelter cycle continues. I always say if you are not ready for the responsibilities that come with dog ownership, then don't get one...Not all things can be fixed, but many things can be managed so that both the dog and owner can continue living a quality, happy life. So if you have taken every avenue to work on the problem and there is no solution, then you manage it with the diapers, or what have you. If not then there's a good possibilty the re-homeing cycle will continue if you do decide to re-home...and then you wonder why so many dogs end up with issues. Sad, and maybe harsh but that's the reality of it IMO

 

There is more to the story too. I'm also feeling that Lincoln will be happier if I can find her a more quiet home. I feel like she is living in fear much of the day because of her fear of noise. Every day when my kids come home from school or when they become loud on weekends, she immediately cowers in the back of her crate, sometimes to the point of shaking. She stays that way until it becomes quiet and only then, does she slowly come out of her crate. She also does this if we have friends over and talk loudly at the dining room table. I have no doubt that if she were in a more quiet and calm home, the problem will disappear. It's impossible to keep my kids quiet, their 8 and 10 years old and both loud and very active.

 

FWIW I had a fearful dog - people, kids, noises you name it scared him and he would cower, run and hide, etc. Hell he didn't even want to go outside when we first got him so potty training was an absolute nightmare! He is almost 3 now and taking classes with him and working with a positive based trainer did absolute wonders, completely boosted his confidence. This was a dog that in the first few weeks of classes would cower under my chair and not come out. I didn't push him I worked at his pace. We did more little by little and slowly (when he was ready) moved on to the next. We also did a lot of LAT, sitting at park benches, clicking and treating for looking at scary things, etc. Fast forward two years later I have a completely different dog. He still has a submissive personality and the slight fear issues are still there at times, I don't think that will ever go away completely, but I can now take him hiking, be around people, loud noises...something two years ago I would have never dreamed was possible with this dog. Did it take TONS of PATIENCE, God yes but the progress we made was all worth it.

So long story short, not sure if it's something you can do or maybe you have done or are doing so if so (sorry for this post)...but if not and you can take some basic classes or even some type of sport class you think he might enjoy may be worth a shot.

 

I know what you mean about the diapers. I only had to use them for a couple of weeks while my female was in season and would not want to do it all year round. It sounds like your dog would be much happier in a quieter home, probably without children. I see nothing wrong with you trying to find a quieter home as it sounds like the dog is living in fear at any loud voices or a lot of activity. Since you have had her this long and it still has not improved, it is not likely to. She might be a perfect dog for an older couple or single without children.

 

Do you think you would be willing to take the dog back if you re-homed to someone and it didn't work out for whatever reason?

 

No question, I would take her back. If we do go ahead and rehome her, I'm being selective about where she goes. I want what's best for her too. I'm just frustrated that she is still doing this but otherwise the best dog I could ever ask for.

 

Personally I wouldn't rehome a dog for submissive urination if that's all it was.

BUT,
1. I'm not you
2. For me the urine isn't really the relevant issue so much as... I'm not sure a home with rambunctious kids is the best home for this dog. She is getting anxious enough to submissively urinate up to 4x/week in the winter! That's a hard way to live, man. A little more mentally resilient dog might be a better fit for your house overall. I bet in a house without kids she wouldn't do it at all.

 

I agree with this in general.
The urination wouldn't be a breaking point for me in particular, due to my schedule and flooring and such. On the other hand, a dog like that wouldn't be likely to find my home stressful as I have no kids, only adult visitors in small numbers, privacy fenced yard etc.

It might not be so much about the cleanup or management of the urination but that the reasons for the urination is the issue. If the dog is just plain stressed out to the max, it isn't really fair for her. If you can carefully find a calm home for her with people who understand the potential for the urination issue, then it could have major potential for a relaxing place for her. Not all dogs can fit in all households and sometimes it can be the braver and stronger thing to do to find a better fit. If you have tried medication and vet care and training and she is still stressed out, then reaching out to possible new homes could be the hard thing for you but maybe the right thing for her.

If she otherwise fits with your home, I'd try medication for stress/anxiety and as much modifications about the household structure as is reasonably possible first before rehoming.

 

The urination is something we all have to deal with as our dogs get older, but what concerns me is that she is doing it so much with the provocation of fairly common household occurrences. It's probably distressing for her, too. If my dog were submissively urinating for no other reason than things got loud, I would start to consider that maybe my home is unsuitable for this particular dog. It sounds like this dog may be better off in a home that is quiet and does not receive many visitors.

 

I'm in agreement that the dog would probably be better off in a quieter household without children. From what is described, the dog lives in fear, even though she only submissively urinates occasionally. Honestly, folks don't seem to be thinking about what is best for the dog in this situation. Is it really better for the dog to remain in a condition of fearfulness than to take a chance on rehoming her to a home with a quieter, calmer environment? The OP has said they have worked with the dog, even medicating her, but the fearfulness remains even though the submissive urination has slowed. From what is described, the dog wants to be with people, wants to interact, but the loud noises and activity just put her over the edge and she can't mentally handle it.

 

If I'm reading correctly, the dog is fearful due to the noise level in your home and that is causing the submissive urination.
If yes, rehoming may be best. I'd be very selective & have a contract that says you get the dog back.
Realize that any dog you get may have issues & rehoming isn't always the best option.

 

I tend toward very carefully selected rehoming.

I feel you on the diapering! My bichon and chihuahua girls both peed indoors (and out). I have wood/tile floors. There are no rugs (I plan to get some soon, now that they both passed). I had both in diapers at one point. Vet checks revealed no issues with UTIs. The chihuahua was the worst. I changed her diaper 5+ times a day, even with regular potty breaks. It really sucked. I tried pee pads for several years, which was ok, but there were instances of missed peeing... totally missing the pad and then the pee soaking into the grout. After 2 years of that it was a major clean up job to get the urine stench out of the grout/tile!!

I kept them both to the end. And even though I miss them, i DO NOT miss the pee issues ONE BIT. IT was a relief! both remaining dogs are great in the house, such a relief!

Anyway, in the interest of the dog (terrified of noisy, unpredictable kids) I do think if you can find a quiet home, it would be best for her. Take your time, though, disclose her fear issues and I wouldn't fault you one bit for rehoming her.

I HATED diapering/changing two dogs. Hated!
Good luck.

 

Do not feel bad. It sounds as if this may be just her genetics, very weak nerves and possibly other mental health problems. Sorry to those who disagree but no one should have to keep a dog that is a burden in their life just out of guilt. Find her a new home and get a new dog, a puppy from a quality breeder who does health-testing. Then you are far less likely to have a dog with these kinds of issues. The idea of dogs is to enrich and improve our life. If your dog is not doing that, find her a new home and try again.

 

Poor Lincoln needs to be in a home where she feels safe and comfortable. Would living with a quiet adult with no kids cure her? Who knows...but I think it's worth a try so she has a chance at a better life. Like many have said, not all dogs fit into all homes. And it's not like you didn't try....sounds like you've tried just about everything to keep this from happening.

Find the right home for her, and be 110% sure that the new person understands YOU and only you get her back if it doesn't work out.

It's heartbreaking when things like this happen...but it's our responsibility to be sure our pets have a good life - even if that means "giving up" and accepting defeat.

 

I could put up any number of reasons to rehome Cady right now, just to get everyone to agree I should rehome her. Do what you must. Probably would be better for Lincoln, but don't ever get another dog. Get a cat instead. They do not need daily care or even a lot of human interaction.

 

as someone mentioned before that cats having litter box issue, due to health or emotional stress, are way worse.... so I can't recommend the cat ownership if bathroom issues may be a problem . I agree that you need to do what you have to do. It's a no win situation and saying that in 2 years your kids haven't learned any empathy for the dogs situation doesn't make it come across well reading it. So am sure you don't mean it like it reads. Re homing a dog with issues that you can't handle but have been graceful and understanding to Lincoln over it, doesn't mean other people will be as graceful with her for it. We seem to live in a world where punishment is human's first instinct when it comes to animals ... And you have read the Post before concerning giving up ownership and learning the people where not who they presented themselves to be but not going to give the dog back since it is now theirs. And you have read the post before of poor trainers, and said behaviorist that good intention owners have paid outrageous amounts of money to find help but gotten the opposite. Some times dogs find you , because you are the best one to look after them to keep them safe for not being perfect even when you don't feel you are perfect about yourself. I don't think keeping Lincoln and looking at getting another dog is a bad idea... it has pros and cons but everything does..