Look into Cooperative Care training - it's a great way to work with any dog, but especially one who's difficult with handling/husbandry things like grooming. There's a free facebook group that can help out with the basics called Cooperative Care by Deb Jones, and the person in the title has both a book and online classes/workshops at Fenzi Dog Sports Academy. The basic concept is you teach the dog a 'consent' behavior, so that they have the power to end the scary or uncomfortable handling at any time. Knowing they can choose not to participate in the training and that their handler will respect that makes animals a lot more willing to participate. It's used a lot in zoos these days - definitely an awesome tool to have.
There's a lot of tricks you can use to help avoid piling on treat calories with a small dog! The general rule I've seen is that you can replace about 1/4 of a dog's daily food intake with treats without worrying about nutritional imbalances, but if you have a day every so often where she gets a ton of treats because you're going to a class or really working on some training, it's no big deal to just cut back on a meal, or cut it out entirely. My dogs usually get two meals a day, but when I'm doing weekly classes, the dog I'm taking will only get a tiny dinner - enough so they don't take my fingers off in class, but probably only a sixth or so of their usual meal.
If you're good at planning ahead, you can portion out a small amount of her daily kibble and soak it in water, use that to stuff a kong, and freeze it. Whatever filling you use though, freezing a Kong makes it last longer. My favorite trick with my food-motivated dogs is to just use their kibble for training - or get a different brand/flavor and pretend it's treats. Sometimes we even use cat kibble. That way I know their 'treats' are still pretty balanced and healthy, but because it's different than their 'everyday' kibble, they think it's exciting. Doesn't always work with dogs who aren't super into food though. I'll also do a 'trail mix' where I mix kibble with more exciting, stinkier treats (like dried hot dog) so that everything smells more exciting.
As for raw bones, I get mine either from the pet store (frozen raw and fresh food section - though price and availability can vary a lot depending on your region), the supermarket (sometimes Asian or other import markets have more diverse cuts of meat for cheaper), or my in-laws (hunters). Chicken is really easy for a lot of dogs to learn how to eat, and pretty much the entire bird has bones soft enough that you don't have to worry about them (raw, of course chicken bones get super dangerous and splinter-y when cooked!). All you have to look out for is avoiding chicken at the supermarket that's had saline pumped into it as a 'flavor enhancer'. Not going to be a huge problem if it's a rare treat, but too much salt to be giving all the time. But because chicken is easy, it's not always the best tooth cleaner. Pretty safe though, and most dogs tolerate skinless chicken parts well, and you can always up the challenge by feeding it frozen.
Neck, ribs, tail, and even feet are often better at teeth cleaning because they're a real challenge. All raw pork should be frozen solid for at least a month prior to feeding - stuff you get from the pet stores should've already been through that and is fine. I do occasionally feed legs, but only under careful supervision. Weight bearing bones can be really dense - even turkey legs are pretty darn hard - and I only let my boys chew until they've gotten most of the meat and tissue off. If they really start cracking into those bones, they're likely to crack a tooth instead. Honestly I only use them because I get deer and moose leg sections free from my FiL and BiL during hunting season. Turkey necks are pretty good though, if you can find them!
I suggest you do some reading on raw feeding before starting, especially prey model raw since a lot of people who feed it use various meats and cuts from the supermarket. It'll give you a bit of an idea what to expect, what meats to look for, and common mistakes to avoid, like feeding a bunch of skin to a dog who isn't used to it. Or feeding your dog somewhere not easy to clean up... you do not want your dog jumping on your couch with a raw turkey wing. I use a crate or towel (for the older dog, who is actually trained to stay on the towel while eating) these days.
