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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Here's what I found on PF (people forums), a forum by dogs, that talk about their slaves... Oops, I meant owners... Here's what Sobaka wrote:

"Dear PF,

I was wondering, if your people are very obedient? I've been trying to teach Corteo to fetch me my bowl, but that does no good... Also, he likes that he can take me for walks... I was wondering if you think that a prong collar would work? How about a no pull harness? It is SOOOOO frustrating, when I want to go one way, Corteo always keeps pulling the other way... Get back to me! I need help! Have you guys heard of the People Whisperer? He is great! He can take the most unruly humans, and with a growl, make them do what he wants! :eek: So long for now, I'm going to take my human for a walk. Hopefully he won't pull like usual."

What would your dog write about you? Pretend there is a forum like this one, and that it's dogs talking about us. What would your dog say?
 

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My human is CONSTANTLY pulling! I don't know that she'll ever be trained. She just doesn't seem to understand that interesting sights/smells/noises MUST be investigated. It's pretty much the most important thing in the whole wide world. Well... aside from getting treats, that is.

And that's another thing, does anyone know how to train their humans how to give more treats?

My human keep these strange, white furry things in MY house. At first I thought they were dogs, but then I ran up to them, wagging my tail, and they made this strange noise, like all the air was rushing out of them or something. Good thing they got over THAT in a hurry.

I mean, it wouldn't be so bad, but they really aren't very good at playing. They really seem to want to play with me... but as soon as I bite them, even the tiniest little bite, they make the most awful noise! THEN my human gets all mad at me and takes me way from the white fuzzies. They are such whimps!

All in all, though, my human is pretty cool. I was in this strange place that was nothing but a bunch of cages, and I never really got out to play very much. Sure, I had sisters and a brother to play with, but it's just not the same as having a human of your own. The day she came to get me, she really seemed to understand me when I told her to please take me with, so maybe there's hope for her understanding all my commands some day.

I was a little frustrated when she put me in another cage that night when there was a whole, big house to explore and all sorts of things to chew on. But... you know what? Pretty soon I realized that this cage was different. It has a warm, soft blanket and toys in it. My humans were sleeping right near the cage, so I wasn't afraid. They seem to leave an awful lot during the day (something about "work" and "making money" so they can give treats, toys and food, so I guess it's a necessary evil), but there hasn't been a day that they haven't come back. Besides, my crate (it's so much nicer to call it a crate rather than a cage, don't you think?) is so safe and cozy... sometimes when I'm afraid or just plain tired, I actually want to go inside!
 

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My person will just not do what I ask of her. I will look her directly in the eyes and state my demand and she will just smile and make a noise back at me. I even stamp my paw on the ground while I ask for what I want her to do and do you know what she does? She laughs! I think someone needs to go to obedience training. Can anyone suggest a good trainer?
 

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First of all, WHY can't I chew on my owner's and other humans' paws? Someone always say NO! Usually it's mommy. They're so fun to chew and they're always wiggling around, all the time! I love them! Oh, now I want to chew... Is that one of my bones? Mmm..

Oh, was I saying something?

Yea, and why do they always say NO and push me off when I try humping them? Whenever I try they say something about me stopping this when I get 'neutered'.. Neutered? What's that?! What's so bad about me showing my love for them this way? Maybe humans just don't do this kinda thing, I don't know..

Do any of you know what those flip-top boxes are? You know, the ones people put on a table or their laps and one side has a bunch of colors and the other side has buttons that make noise when humans press on them? My mommy has one, and she's ALWAYS on it! How can I get her to play with me more? I mean, she plays with me a lot and takes me for walks, but a puppy is never satisfied.. Is that a string...?

Did I get side-tracked again? Oops!

Why do I get yelled at when I pee or poop inside? What's so bad about it? humans do it, too! Well, maybe not on the floor.. But inside! They send me out into the cold, I even have to walk through some of that wet, white stuff! It is yummy to eat, though..
Also, when I pick up things from off the floor and eat them, I get yelled at and my mommy will even take them out of my mouth sometimes and go "Beethoven, eeeew!" But then, she takes me into the kitchen and tells me to eat out of this bowl on the floor! I thought she didn't want me to eat off the floor.. I get very confused, and give her a hard time, am I right? I mean, I usually end up eating it, but sometimes I don't. She gets grumpy then.

Where are you guys? I'd like to come play. Let's play! :D

(Sorry this was so long.. I'm a bit of a creative writer xD)
 

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Kasey would write:

"I just can't seem to get it through to these people that I don't want to wake up ... ever."


Elise would write:

"Any tips for taking down a fence that these people insist I stay in when they're not wearing a leash? There are some ducks on the other side that I MUST meet"
 
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