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My brother and I have always clashed. We're polar opposites. I can't understand the way he thinks and vice versa. In the past, I was able to ignore his irritating behaviors and attitude. However, over the past couple of moths, he has become kind of a paranoid fanatic. He's like a missionary for these new weird things that have become his religion. It's like we have different religions and he is a very passionate fundamentalist and I'm an atheist, or at least, an agnostic. He talks about nothing else. I really cannot tolerate it. If I don't agree with him it's because I'm not enlightened and I'm brainwashed. If I don't want to adopt his ways of thinking and behaving or if I argue or debate him, he becomes enraged. It's like he's been brainwashed by a cult, via the internet. There may be a shred of truth to some of the things he says, but I don't wan to be lectured and browbeaten every time I see or speak to him. I'm not actually talking about religion here but the point is, my life doesn't revolve around these things and neither should his. My mother annoys me because she enables him. He has such a deranged way of looking at things now that his point of view is based on his fixation. I'm constantly being verbally attacked and when it's not face to face, it's through text messages.
I don't have an issue with people who are very religious but this is the best analogy that I can give. On some college campuses, there are guys, who drive RVs and stand outside all day with a bullhorn, proclaiming everybody to be sinners. I feel like my brother is one of those men and I have no choice but to let him into my house, which I would not do, if it were truly my house and I didn't share it with my parents. It's actually a little bit frightening because to me, it's almost pathological, in that it seems to have come on so strongly, so quickly. He came with me to a doctor's appointment a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't get him to shut up in there. I didn't wan the people in the waiting room to think he was some raving lunatic . From the time he wakes up in the morning, he's obsessed. My parents won't do anything about it. I don't have the power to do anything and of course, my brother would claim that if we did something it was because we were part of the "indoctrinated," and we didn't know any better than what we've been fed over the years. It's like I'm living in the movie "Conspiracy Theory." Granted, in the movie, those theories turned out to be true but how often does life turn out like a movie?
In any case, I guess my only choice is to hide upstairs, whenever he comes to the house and avoid any kind of interaction. It's sad to think that I have no other relatives besides my parents.
 

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Yep, you answered your own question. He starts on this crap, you leave the room, or the house, even. You just don't listen. Arguing, debating... it'll do absolutely no good. The only thing you can do is hope that he realizes he only gets to speak with you if he can talk about something else for a while.

While not to this extent, my parents have some pretty out-there beliefs. I used to argue with them, but all that did was make everyone upset. Now I just leave. They know not to bring up these subjects around me.
 

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I agree with Crantastic. Avoidance is the best option here. I'm a student living at home and my views on pretty much everything are the opposite of those of both my parents and my sister. My sister seems to have no views of her own and will just go along with whoever she happens to be talking to, which is tolerable to me, but my parents know of my contrasting views and will purposely bring up something they know I feel strongly about, and then talk crap about it and anyone who thinks the way I do. It's passive aggressive and basically bait for me to get into a debate about it, which I never take. I remove myself.

Some people enjoy conflict and arguments and develop these radical viewpoints so they can constantly be enthralled in those types of conversations/situations. I think many of these people don't even realize that they are doing what they are doing for that reason. Not saying that's your brother's case, but something to think about.

Keep your head down, remove yourself as much as possible. Tell yourself daily the same things you would tell someone if they explained this situation to you. Self talk can be really powerful. If you don't already have a plan that eventually gets you out of there and on your own (assuming that's what you ultimately want, who knows) then try to get one in the works. It will help to have that to work towards and hold onto.

Family conflicts are tough. Wishing you the best.
 

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Be silent. It is sort of funny.. but if you have a wall and you bounce a ball off of it, it encourages you to throw the ball again. If you remove the wall.. well then the ball goes off bouncing into wherever and you have to go get it. MUCH less fun.

So, don't be a wall. No response will give him a LOT less steam.

When you are forced to talk to him, change the subject. Focus single mindedly (almost like you are stupid) on something else. It can even be complimentary to him.

Like this:
"<Espouses obsession.. blahblahblah>"
your response, "I really like the way your shoes match what you wore today. And your hair looks GREAT."
continues to "<Espouse obsession.. blahblahblah>"
your response, "Where did you get your hair cut this time? Are those shoes new?"

EVENTUALLY this game will get old to him. He will either answer your questions and be responsive or realize you are not taking his bait and he will walk away.

Do not be argumentative (he won't change his thinking) and do not try to explain why you disagree. Nope. Just take on a completely different topic and stick to it as if you are as crazy as he is.
 

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Get a T-shirt with this printed on it. "I'm only talking to my Dog Today."

Now, wear it when your brother visits.

Yeah, I know.....not too subtle. But many times people of that nature don't capture the subtle.....sometimes a ball bat is required.
 

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Just and FYI, discussion of religion is prohibited on this site. I’m allowing the thread to continue for now, as the primary question is how to deal with behaviour, but I will have to close it down if it veers into discussing religion.
 

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The best way to deal with this is to exercise it from your life. Refuse to go to events he will be at, block him on all social media, block his number on your phone.

There is nothing more freeing than never having to worry about this kind of abuse ever again.

FYI, shared genetic material does not a family make.
 

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In any case, I guess my only choice is to hide upstairs, whenever he comes to the house and avoid any kind of interaction. It's sad to think that I have no other relatives besides my parents.
You can try taking it to a meta-level. If I were in that situation one of the things I would try when someone is "browbeating" me (which I interpret to mean bullying) would be to say, "I'm sorry, but I do not wish to be addressed like that". Don't use the contraction (don't), say it all (do not) it makes more of a psychological impact. Saying all of the words can sometimes make the difference between being taken seriously or not.

What the "meta-level" means is to talk about HOW he is saying things instead of WHAT he is saying. That's meta-communication; it's communicating about how we are communicating. It's about the relationship, not about the message. It gives you an opening to tell him that he is making your uncomfortable or that you feel bullied or whatever you want to say. As long as he's lecturing you then you will never be able to say to him what the lecture does to you. You will never be able to tell him what you just told us.

See where I'm going here?

He will be unaware at first that he is doing anything wrong so when you confront him on a meta-level his response will probably be, "like WHAT?" with more bullying to follow because a bully will never stop after being corrected only once. You keep repeating, "I am not willing to be addressed like this, you're making me uncomfortable" and so on.

At some point he will ask you for more by saying something like, "well what do you want, then?" and you respond, "I have my own thoughts and I want you respect that." or " I want to talk about things that interest me as well". (or whatever it is you want from him)

This will probably ring the bell for round 2 because bullies are like dogs guarding a bone when it comes to giving up their position, but if you keep it up and you are consistent about taking it to the meta-level when he's "browbeating" and telling him to change the subject once he listens then eventually you will get through to him that you're not going to stop until you get room to participate as an equal partner in the conversation.

That would be my approach.
 

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The best way to deal with this is to exercise it from your life. Refuse to go to events he will be at, block him on all social media, block his number on your phone.

There is nothing more freeing than never having to worry about this kind of abuse ever again.

FYI, shared genetic material does not a family make.
I agree with you 100%. Sometimes any other, milder option puts you in an uncomfortable position and makes you constantly make excuses. You need to understand that you are absolutely normal in this situation. Then, cut off the irritant from your life. If you're still trying to scroll through it in your head and mentally explain why you are wrong - accept a sedative. I like this option - https://premiumjane.com/cbd-oils/natural/ A couple of drops at night during the week will fully restore your strength and calm your nerves.
 

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That's such a clash in your house. I think your zodiac signs don't get along. As you described him, he is Virgo. You can read compatibility of virgo and find out if you are able to communicate at all or you should stay away from each other.
 
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