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Uallis is looking for a new home...

2476 Views 43 Replies 14 Participants Last post by  volleyballgk
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Attention DF's:

Uallis is looking for a new home. I am typing this for him under threat of him actually chewing my arm off...so it with great sadness that I write this for him...But alas...I have no choice.

I am forced to say that we have tormented and humiliated him for the last time. Also, he is forcing me to say that he has lived in unspeakable conditions for the last 2 years and he wants all of DF's to hear about it. He is "forced" to have the flashy thing in his face all the time and he lives in fear of it blinding him permanently. He is "forced" to share a house with a big black dog that likes to pull on his flabbers on a regular basis. He lives in daily fear of the 2 evil kitties that have sharp claws...they like to swat him in the face. He would like nothing more than to eat those evil kitties but the humans in his life will not let him. Also, he is very upset with us because we have started watching season 4 of Lost and he hasn't even finished the 3rd one yet. Most upsetting for him. There have been many more atrocities that he has been forced to live and deal with on a daily basis. However, he is still too hurt and traumatized to openly speak about all of them at this point. He hopes that his new human will bear with him and show him understanding during his healing process.

Despite all of this, he has been a brave soldier for the 2 years he has graced us with his presence in our home.

However, this was the last straw that made him decide that he needed to move on and find a new human to grace his presence with:






Apparently, this drove Uallis over the edge. He decided that he had enough. He had no other choice but to fight back. He regrets that he came to using violence:






MORE...
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Uallis attempted to leave right after the "incident"...however, I talked him into staying until he could find a better arrangement...



To alleviate some of his pain, I moved the big black dog outside on a temporary basis...



Uallis decided that was fitting revenge for the time being:



So at this time, Uallis wants it to be known that he is available to a new loving home...He has no doubt that there will be many people that will be interested...His main concern at this point...is how is he going to take his couch with him?...

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Aaahhh, smooshy dog lips!!!!
He just has a smooshy face in general...haha :)
I'd offer him my home, but I don't think I can resist smooshing that face :D
Tell him that if he is willing to put up with two other smooshy faced dogs he can come and live with me. I offer him his own couch, plenty of running room, and I promise not to put the flashy thing in his face (at least not while he is awake!) :D
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What a wuss! That was about a 3rd degree smoosh face. Around here, we cut to the chase with a full 1st degree smoosh face...



Great story. :D
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Also...I must warn Uallis that he may be subject to the below indignity:
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Is Eddie a purebred lab? He looks huge!
What a wuss! That was about a 3rd degree smoosh face. Around here, we cut to the chase with a full 1st degree smoosh face...



Great story.
OMG!! lol that's hilarious!! I'm going to have to get a better smooshy face picture of Uallis now...lol The poor dog is really going to chew my arm off for it but it'll be worth it...lol

Also...I must warn Uallis that he may be subject to the below indignity:
ROFLMAO!!! I think that has to be the worst and BEST picture I've ever seen!! Poor Payton!! lol

Is Eddie a purebred lab? He looks huge!
As far as I know he is. He was a stray so I don't know for sure though. I've always attributed his size his probable poor breeding. He is extremely large for a Lab. Standing next to a "normal" size Lab...he looks twice the size of one. At his last weigh in, he was 110lb, though I figure he's bigger than that now. He has A LOT of bulk and a huge chest. Even though I'm pretty sure he's all Lab, I've vaguely thought about a DNA test because I'm a little curious because his size is massive for a Lab. He's not fat or anything...he's just really bulky and heavy. *shrug*
110 lab...Wow! I like Eddie but I'd have to say I LOVE Uallis. He's such an impressive, handsome dog!
110 lab...Wow! I like Eddie but I'd have to say I LOVE Uallis. He's such an impressive, handsome dog!
Thanks...lol

Eddie normally wins people over with his personality...when we have friends over, they actually spend more time with Eddie than Uallis because Eddie is more outgoing and playful...People are usually attracted to Uallis because of his appearance but sometimes disappointed when they meet him for the first time because he doesn't do much in the way of interacting with them. He likes to play and such but normally with people he knows pretty well, otherwise he's kind of aloof. :rolleyes: But he's an impressive dog for sure.
Whew...I thought you had really lost your mind! :eek: Cute story but don't ever scare me like that again! I have come to love that big smooshy face...;)
Whew...I thought you had really lost your mind! :eek: Cute story but don't ever scare me like that again! I have come to love that big smooshy face...;)
haha sorry...:eek:

Don't worry Uallis isn't going anywhere. :p
haha sorry...:eek:

Don't worry Uallis isn't going anywhere. :p
WHAT??!!! Now I have to go and explain to Max that we aren't getting Uallis and he can't hump his head! :p
Ill take him! Dozer needs someone more his size to run with..he is starting to get ballerina toes having to play with all the munchkins here...:D
haha sorry...:eek:

Don't worry Uallis isn't going anywhere. :p
uh uh, no way, i call false advertisement!!! i was totally gonna take sweet hunky Uallis in!
:)

really cute story and pics... love it, u should do children's books about your animal crew.
Thanks...lol

Eddie normally wins people over with his personality...when we have friends over, they actually spend more time with Eddie than Uallis because Eddie is more outgoing and playful...People are usually attracted to Uallis because of his appearance but sometimes disappointed when they meet him for the first time because he doesn't do much in the way of interacting with them. He likes to play and such but normally with people he knows pretty well, otherwise he's kind of aloof. :rolleyes: But he's an impressive dog for sure.
That's interesting. Is Uallis affectionate with you? Do you have a favorite between Uallis and Eddie?
WHAT??!!! Now I have to go and explain to Max that we aren't getting Uallis and he can't hump his head! :p
I've caught Uallis humping Eddie's head before so...lol

Ill take him! Dozer needs someone more his size to run with..he is starting to get ballerina toes having to play with all the munchkins here...:D
Ballerina toes...haha that had me laughing. lol

uh uh, no way, i call false advertisement!!! i was totally gonna take sweet hunky Uallis in!
:)

really cute story and pics... love it, u should do children's books about your animal crew.
I don't know if would be good stories to share with children...dogs knocking me down, chewing my arms off...Eddie taking me out with a looonnnnggg stick, Uallis jumping on me and knocking my head off the side of the house...lol I think that would give children phobias of dogs...lol

That's interesting. Is Uallis affectionate with you? Do you have a favorite between Uallis and Eddie?
He's not affectionate in the sense that he wants to always lay in our laps or something. He isn't big on cuddling with us either. But he'll lay his head in my lap or paw at me when he wants affection.

As for favorites...No, I don't have one. The simplest way I know how to describe it is...Eddie makes me laugh and Uallis brings me peace. Where Eddie is "loud", Uallis is "quiet", etc...they each have important roles in the family and we wouldn't be complete without either one. :)
Well they both sound like wonderful dogs!
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