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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Sigh... well for the second time in 5 years James' parents invited me out to eat dinner with them. It was nice for a while (dont know if all of you know, but James' parents have never liked me much... claims as to why: not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not mexican enough, not girly enough, oh and I'm INFESTED with fleas because I live with 5 dogs in the house :rolleyes:).

Oh well, I've learned to live with it. But the topic came up about animals and how he (his dad) could care less how they're killed and skinned alive. He traveled alot with his previous job and would would go to Korea and I forgot the other place, and his favorite dog breed to eat was Saint Bernard and Mastiff. He even said... "Man when Callahan croaks, bring him over and we'll put him on the pit! I wonder what he tastes like, he's huge! He'll feed us for a week!" :( I just sat there saying nothing, because I will never get anywhere with them and how they think. (Couple years back we went a year without speaking to eachother and acknowledging eachother when they bred their Hip Dysplasia filled Goldens and had people coming back wanting to sue because their 4 month old pups had it).

Anyway, he (his dad) saw how I was staying quiet and said "What's wrong? Oh yea I forgot, you think they have feelings! HAHAHA" Yea he laughed it up... I just sat there and said, "I believe what I believe... and you believe what you believe". Then he says, yea but I'm the right one Haha! "You're off your rocker to think that they have feelings and LOVE YOU and CARE ABOUT YOU! That's Bull$hit, the only reason your dogs are with you is because you FEED THEM! If you didnt they would leave!"

Oh yea... come with me to rescue 'missions' where we have get the starving (loose might I add) dogs from their homes... why? Becuase all they want is human attention and they will stay at their home no matter what, with their 'owners' who dont give a damn about them and wont feed them. They will still stay. Sigh... It went on and on... I will never win... and apparently I will always be deamed psycho... (Oh and they always do it when James up and goes to the RR.
Nessa
 

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Sorry Nessa that really sucks! :( It's gotta be hard with that being James' parents and all. Just know that you can't change everyone's thinking and remember what a great guy you have.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Sorry Nessa that really sucks! :( It's gotta be hard with that being James' parents and all. Just know that you can't change everyone's thinking and remember what a great guy you have.
Oh yea it's terribly hard. At first I would kiss a$$ hoping they would like me... well when that didnt work and I was still treated like crap and a stranger I just gave up. I'm not going to cater to idiots. I just dont know what I'll do... I mean people always say "You dont marry the family, you marry him" But that is NOT TRUE! You marry the damn family! Sigh... you're obligated to go to family functions, holidays, let them see the kids... and what not. So yea... Oh My God... the first time she found out we had dogs in the house, she made James change in the garage and didnt let him go in the house :mad:. Because he just had to have fleas on him! Sigh but I love him so much... I dont know how such a great guy came out of such stupid ignorant mean people.
Nessa
 

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My best advice would be to take your own suggestion and believe what you know to be right regardless of what others to say. Just based on that situation it sounds like the father does his best to goad you into defending yourself just so he can get an opportunity to say your wrong and laugh in your face. I know it's unlikely that he will stop saying what he does simply because you don't respond, but at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you didn't stoop to playing some child-like "I'm better then you!" game.

I know it can be rough though, having relatives (or significant people in your life) who act the way that James's parents do. I had to deal with this a lot growing up as my mother's parents felt my dad was a 'red-neck' and thus not good enough to marry their daughter. They also weren't shy about it, even around us, and even went as far as to claim we (the kids) were being controlled and abused. It's not fun but you can't let it color how you feel or believe, if that makes any sense.

Best of luck in the future. I'm sure Cal's big kisses are more then enough to prove he loves you ;)
 

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I never understood people who were that mean and nasty. Opinions are opinions, true, but to rub them in someone's face like that is just uncalled for, and disrespectful. =/
 

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Some people are just so ridiculously close minded that it's painful to see them sit there and babble on about stuff they know nothing about. If I were you, I probably would be banished from seeing them again due to blowing up in his dad's face for being such an ignorant piece of.. Well, you know. Good for you, being so tolerable of people like that.
 

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Sorry Nessa--you know that I have a horrible Mother in Law, too--me and you have talked about that- and she ALWAYS waits till he's not around to jab me--((HUGS)) I know just how you feel....if only we COULD just marry the good men we found and forget about their parents....lol
 

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When he starts in with comments like that either say (with a Southern accent) "Why Bless your heart!", which is the way a Southerner says "F..You".

Or calmly ask him "Why would you make such offensive statements to a guest in your home and to the person your son loves?" And wait for a reply.
 

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Oh man… in-laws. I’m sorry to hear that you have top deal with this type of nonsense. Some people are just so insensitive and don’t even know how insensitive and inconsiderate they are. It’s sad but I believe that’s the truth.

Fortunately, I don’t have any problems with in-laws and I even talk to Anissa’s mom over the phone often. They are not dog people (especially her mom) and she was even afraid of Lennox by just seeing his picture but when they visited us over Thanksgiving last year and met Lennox in person, they realized he’s not a scary big dog at all. She even played with him. (it was amazing to us!)

Anyway, I think the best you can do is not to bring up the subject (about dogs) and change the subject as soon as your in-law brings up.

-n
 

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So sorry you have to deal w/that Nessa...you have such a big heart! ...its sucks that some people are to dense and self absorbed to see it....((HUGS))

As long as you and James both have each other for support ...then that is all that matters :)
 

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Discussion Starter #17
2 times in 5 years ? Sounds like 2 times to many to me . Why would you even bother if you know his Dad is an asshole ? Life is to short to put up with idiots like him.
I do it for James... I go over to his house for him... all for him. I love him so much so I want to be with him. I have to put up with them because of it.

Why doesn't James stand up for you and say something to his parents? Or has he already tried?
Oh trust me he has. I dont know if you read up there that his parents and I didnt speak for a year... that's because of the whole thing with his parents Goldens and the pups. The new puppy owners came back trying to sue them. Well when his parents found out I had spoken to some of the new owners and gave them advice with Hip Dysplasia THEY FREAKED. We had a huge screaming battle... it was terrible... I finally broke that day... and I let go and they let go. We fought hard... and James tried to help me. But its like moonstr8 said... he is put in a spot.

It's his parents, he loves them... but he'll spend the rest of his life with me... and he loves me. So he's torn. That day he stood up for me... it was very ugly. But oh well. Now they say things to me when James' isnt around... then I tell him and he'll say something... then James' mother calls me a whiner and complainer and that I'm weak. Uggh!

James tries you all... he does... it's just hard, especially when you still have to live with them.
Nessa
 

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Discussion Starter #19 (Edited)
I agree. That's horrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
Yes it is like he tries to egg me on and start it. Oh my gosh... when it comes to religion, I apparently have NO FAITH and am completely wrong in my thinking, and will go to hell for not going to church and giving money to the church. :confused: Uggh! I think it's funny how he claims to be such a holy man... and yet he is mean, rude, a huge drinker and party-er, and a fake show off. Sigh... but according to him I'm going to hell.

LoL... it was funny, I ate meat last night even though it was Ash Wednesday and he kept on calling me a sinner. Ooooooh alright. :rolleyes:

My daddy has just taught me to not stoop to their level... and to smile and say oh is that right?
Nessa

If you have to for sake of James wanting to visit his in laws. Just try to stay content & calm you will make it though the day when you get home open up a bottle of Corona beer couple of Limes to it as well lol
LoL! Well my "Corona" would be chocolate... and loving on my doggies :eek: hehe I dont drink. But thnx for the idea MoonStr8! LoL
Nessa
 
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