Puppy Forum and Dog Forums banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Our son plays in the minor leagues for MLB. He got a GSD puppy in September when he returned home from the season, and he left early this week.

My husband is ill and I need sleeping pills at night to sleep. We are doing okay with the puppy but the nighttime is becoming a real problem.

The puppy used to sleep with our son. My husband sleeps in the house next door which we also own because his medical equipment fits better there. So I am alone with the dog at night.

The first few nights I let her fall asleep in son's bedroom, then cracked the door so she could get out in the morning and grandpa next door could feed her early. I can't wake early.

Last night that fell apart. She wouldn't go to sleep and barked when I shut her in his room. So I let her out but she barked outside for a while then came in and barked at the barrier in front of my door (she will bang and bang on it until I let her in).

I can't sleep with her. I have major sleep issues to begin with. I am pushing myself to walk her every day and our whole lives seem to revolve around the dog now. I like her very much but I'm becoming overwhelmed. In the space of a week I look like I have aged 10 years and I feel like the house no longer belongs to me but to the dog.

Any advice would be welcome.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,332 Posts
Do you have the finances to hire help?
How long will the dog be there with you?
Does your son know how difficult this is/will be for you?
Does your son have somewhere else that he could take the dog?

If possible, taking the dog to a doggie daycare would tire her out a LOT. If the dog doesn't get along well with other dogs, consider hiring a daily dog walker. Depending on where you are, a dog walker (the professional kind with insurance) should run about $20-30 for an hour long walk or so. A starting place for finding a dog walker could be your local humane society or other non-profit animal shelter (typically, city shelters are too busy and broke to help connect people with lots of other services). My local humane society actually has its own dog daycares/boarding facilities and network of bonded and insured dog walkers; the profits from these services help fund the intake/adoption portion of things.

If you have a fenced yard, play fetch and other games to tire the dog out. If you don't have a fenced yard, try getting a 50 foot leash/rope and using that to let the dog play. Waving a "flirt pole" for the dog to chase and leap at can tire her out and some dogs really go for it (while not being too difficult on you if walking is hard).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,277 Posts
Another thing to do would be to get her some bones/chew items for the daytime, so she's busy and not sleeping. Get her tired out so she's willing to sleep at night.

Or call your son and have him make other arrangements, possibly get someone to properly crate train her for nighttime so she can be 'put to bed' and not fuss till morning. If you didn't agree to the dog and he didn't make sure it's ok, the least he can do is pay for someone to do that sort of training so it's not an issue for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
It would be nice if there were somewhere else to take the dog or the money to pay for extra help but we are once-comfortable people in tightened circumstances due to property taxes, gas, etc. My husband and I long ago agreed not to bother our son with anything happening at home. It is an incredibly tough lifestyle playing pro sports and if he has any chance of making it to the majors he can't afford distractions.

Of course once he does get there things will change.

After posting this I talked with my husband and he and his parents who live in the other half of the duplex will keep the dog at night. Grandpa gets up very early and they have had many dogs in the past. They originally proposed this but I thought I could handle the dog on my own.

One other question, though, and that is, using pills to sleep at night and all, would letting the dog sleep with me interfere with a full night's rest? Would she be up and around at night or barking at noises?

How would putting her in her crate all night work? Would the crate be shut or open? Won't be she be unhappy shut up in there when she is used to having a room to roam in?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,837 Posts
Well, since you say your son cannot afford distractions, maybe you should sit down with him and discuss why his life is not best for a dog and that you are not his personal dog sitter. He could either pay for you to have help with the dog, or he can consider rehoming or giving her to a breed specific rescue. I think it would not be terrible to allow your husband's dad take on the pup if he wanted to. There is no sense stressing yourself out when you did not personally sign on for a dog in the first place.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,307 Posts
Well, since you say your son cannot afford distractions, maybe you should sit down with him and discuss why his life is not best for a dog and that you are not his personal dog sitter. He could either pay for you to have help with the dog, or he can consider rehoming or giving her to a breed specific rescue. I think it would not be terrible to allow your husband's dad take on the pup if he wanted to. There is no sense stressing yourself out when you did not personally sign on for a dog in the first place.
This appears to be a sign of the times, whether it's pro sports or out of job kids, baby sit them till they're in their 50's. Of course by that time the parents are old enough to be dumped in a nursing home so all ends well. Personal responsibility is a quality that seems to be absent in many.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,186 Posts
This appears to be a sign of the times, whether it's pro sports or out of job kids, baby sit them till they're in their 50's. Of course by that time the parents are old enough to be dumped in a nursing home so all ends well. Personal responsibility is a quality that seems to be absent in many.
No kidding. This isn't fair to you or the dog. You can't own a dog when you're only around half the year. He needs to regime the poor thing and not get any more dogs until he's moved on from baseball.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,837 Posts
This appears to be a sign of the times, whether it's pro sports or out of job kids, baby sit them till they're in their 50's. Of course by that time the parents are old enough to be dumped in a nursing home so all ends well. Personal responsibility is a quality that seems to be absent in many.
Good thing I'm a stunningly example of a child. ;)

I've had my parents watch Shambles twice. Once when I was totally screwed at my last job and did NOT want to leave a 5 month old crated for 12+ hours, and once because I had a tattoo appointment. Both for the span of a day and not over night. I know they'd rather eat glass than deal with him so it is not a favor I ask for unless I have no other options because he, and the rest of them, are my dogs. If I want to do something that involves me not being able to care for those dogs I need to arrange care- and not on my poor parents who want nothing to do with the care of the dog (they don't even HAVE a dog). Good thing I might know of a few dog crazy people..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
482 Posts
I agree. Your son is not being fair to you or the dog. He needs to rehome that dog rather than leave it with you for half the year. Only something like 10% of minor league ball players ever make it to the majors...he can't be putting you guys on the hook for his responsiblities with the idea that it will some day payoff and he'll be well off enough to take care of you and make it up to you. He needs to be thinking of your welfare right now and expecting you to take care of a bigh, high energy, puppy when your husband is sick and you are having serious sleep issues isn't the way to do it.

Young adult children may not be established enough to provide for their parents, but they most certainly should not be making their parents lives more difficult.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,307 Posts
My husband and I long ago agreed not to bother our son with anything happening at home. It is an incredibly tough lifestyle playing pro sports and if he has any chance of making it to the majors he can't afford distractions.
Mind-boggling, so he can play a game his mother is losing sleep. In all fairness though somebody has got to tell son to take care of business. I wonder who's job that is, never mind I know who's job that is and I'm gone before I get into some heavy duty vent/ranting program.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Well, I should have expected some condemnation regarding the situation. That to me is as much a sign of the times as young people shirking their responsibilities. There is truth in the fact that my stepson (should have mentioned that the first go-round) left us with his mess to clean up, an ongoing saga. But my husband pays the bills and won't hear of me mentioning anything unpleasant to the boy so I am stuck with this situation.

Is this an unfair situation? Yes, it is. However, I can't think of anyone of my acquaintance who is NOT dealing with an unfair situation in some guise or another. How we deal with it is what is most important. We can't always get everybody on board to do what we feel is right.

Having said that, I appreciate the advice about crate training, dog toys, and such other things. I am walking the dog most days from 1-3 miles and spending time playing with and petting her. She is really a great dog and worth making an effort to incorporate into our little village here.

I did not anticipate how much work would be involved but perhaps I am trying too hard. How much attention should a puppy get? Do I have to stop to play with her when I'm working on my computer? Maybe I am spoiling her and should be less involved.

She is moving next door for the nights so I ought to be able to get some sleep. I will continue searching online for dog videos and how-to's and words of wisdom from Cesar. The most important thing I think I need to do is accept the fact that there is now a dog in my life and embrace it and her for the blessing it is and try not to make too much of a melodrama.

Thanks for listening.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
I think I'll sign up for local dog training classes starting soon. It will be a fun thing to do and I'm sure I will learn a lot of helpful info.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,307 Posts
Well, I should have expected some condemnation regarding the situation. That to me is as much a sign of the times as young people shirking their responsibilities. There is truth in the fact that my stepson (should have mentioned that the first go-round) left us with his mess to clean up, an ongoing saga. But my husband pays the bills and won't hear of me mentioning anything unpleasant to the boy so I am stuck with this situation.
Well you get an apology from me because you are truly caught between a rock and a hard place.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,719 Posts
I think I'll sign up for local dog training classes starting soon. It will be a fun thing to do and I'm sure I will learn a lot of helpful info.
I think this is a great idea. It sounds like you like spending time with this little lady, and training classes really can be a great way to bond with your dog. We've had a lot of fun with ours. Training will also help tire out your dog (mentally exhausting), and the instructor might be able to answer your questions better because he or she will know the dog.

Just make sure to ask questions first and pick a positive reinforcement-based class, ideally one that uses clicker training.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
482 Posts
I feel for you. I'm the stepmother of a young adult too. I pay half the bills, so it's easier for me to put my foot down on things, but it is still an incredibly hard situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
367 Posts
Well, I should have expected some condemnation regarding the situation. That to me is as much a sign of the times as young people shirking their responsibilities. There is truth in the fact that my stepson (should have mentioned that the first go-round) left us with his mess to clean up, an ongoing saga. But my husband pays the bills and won't hear of me mentioning anything unpleasant to the boy so I am stuck with this situation.

Is this an unfair situation? Yes, it is. However, I can't think of anyone of my acquaintance who is NOT dealing with an unfair situation in some guise or another. How we deal with it is what is most important. We can't always get everybody on board to do what we feel is right.

Having said that, I appreciate the advice about crate training, dog toys, and such other things. I am walking the dog most days from 1-3 miles and spending time playing with and petting her. She is really a great dog and worth making an effort to incorporate into our little village here.

I did not anticipate how much work would be involved but perhaps I am trying too hard. How much attention should a puppy get? Do I have to stop to play with her when I'm working on my computer? Maybe I am spoiling her and should be less involved.

She is moving next door for the nights so I ought to be able to get some sleep. I will continue searching online for dog videos and how-to's and words of wisdom from Cesar. The most important thing I think I need to do is accept the fact that there is now a dog in my life and embrace it and her for the blessing it is and try not to make too much of a melodrama.

Thanks for listening.
How old is the dog? Is it potty trained? I have a 6 month old shepherd that started out sleeping at night in her crate and as she got older I brought her into my bedroom to sleep. She starts off in the bed then goes to her dog bed(once she thinks I'm sleeping) I would say try to have the dog sleep in your room if you want to make a go of it, the worse case scenario is that you'll wake up to kisses:) It sounds like she wants to be with you anyway. German Shepherds are great dogs that like to be busy, but they can relax too! Training would be a very good start and you'll love it just as much as the dog. I would do the same thing for my son in a heartbeat. Good Luck to you and him!!
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top