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Discussion Starter #1
Sorry, I couldn't find my post from a couple of months ago, but I was to put my dog down, but was having a hard time with it. (She's blind, deaf and demented? Well, I still am, but there are days that I am so much closer. I am no longer managing keeping her clean. She won't even let me cut away and wash when she 's got poop stuck to her butt. She messes (pees and poos) n the house almost daily, many times more than once per day. I'm hoping my floor doesn't take on the odor. I get up very early but it's all for nothing because she's already messed.

Secondly, I need help with something, short of going to the vet because if I end up in there, that will be it., I try to keep her eyes clean but she has such a big matt under one eye, normally I would cut it away, but she snaps and bites and will not stay still? I don't dare have a pair of scissors in my hands incase she jumps around, and I poke her eye out.. I keep soaking with warm cloths , but it doesn't help, think it's making the matt bigger? I can't get a comb in there cause the teeth of the comb might hurt her eyes incase she jumps. .I don't know how to help her, but it's time. I told myself we will keep her till Xmas, so when the grandkids come, they won't be sad that she's gone, but it's to the point that I can't even groom her anymore?
 

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Only you can make the decision, but you have to take a good, hard look at her quality of life. This is a chart with questions you can ask yourself. https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/default/files/import/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf If the negatives massively outweigh the positives, then letting her go is the best choice.

I know it's hard to make that decision, but still, it's one of the kindest things we can do for our beloved pets, and one I've had to make far too many times over the years.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thank you for the link, I did go through it. My dog is 15 years + 8 months old , headed towards 16. She is deaf, blind, and demented, so some of these things come into play as well. I was hoping as most, that she would die peacefully at home, but I said to my husband, it doesn't look like she is ready to die. From past experience, hoping they will die at home never happened for me. In spite of her slowing down on many levels she can still move quickly when she is pacing in circles.
She doesn't seem to be experiencing pain except when I try to clean the crusties from her eyes. If she was in pain, a decision would be made pronto;.
She can no longer go out on her own and find her way back without assistance by harness. We can't pick her up because she bites. She messes in the house, don't know if she is confused or can no longer hold it? She does her thing whenever or wherever she feels like it? I am so grateful for the gate we have separating rooms, so only the kitchen gets the worst,.
She doesn't have seizures but paces in circles a lot so she's active that way.
She bites when I try to clean and groom her, she makes it impossible and makes it dangerous for herself and for me. I can no longer use scissors or a comb on her face to dislodge the crusty matts under her eyes. She jumps and snaps and is in danger of me poking her eye out. All I use now is a wet cloth and hope the crustie dissolves but it doesn't?
She eats good.
No, she's not the normal dog of a few years ago. several changes have taken place in her eyes, her ears and her confusion?
Outside of a miracle, there's little chance of improvement.
Her quality of life has definitely dropped.
Thinking that we will take action after Christmas, so the kids won't be sad that she's gone? I put a couple of dogs to sleep in the past, but they were ready, this one has 2 paws on the other side and 2 paws still here. Oh, there is something else that bothers me, since she is matted and crusted, I hope the Vet doesn't think we've been neglecting her? How can I take her in like that? On the other hand , how can I clean her up?
 

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I find what is really helpful when you are debating whether it is time or not is to keep a daily diary of sorts. Every day right down if it was an overall good or bad day for the dog. Things like how much stress was the dog in that day? How much pain? How many times did she seem happy and interested in things. For a lot of people, myself included, it can help a lot to be able to look back and see how the dog has been. If there has been more bad than good, it will help you to realize it's time to let go and the dog is not happy. We like to cling on to the good days and forget about the 20 other days in the month that the dog was miserable. It can go the other way too. Sometimes we see our old seniors have a horrible day and we think "oke it's time" but if you have a log to check back on you might realize majority of the days have been really good and there has only been a few really bad ones.

As for taking her to the vet in that condition.. just explain exactly what you have here, that for the dog's own safety you were not able to clean her up. They will understand. They go through people debating over when to make this decision ALL THE TIME. They know how difficult this is for the owner and that people need time to be sure they are making the right choice.

Good luck and Merry Christmas
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you, that actually is a good idea, because if I have any remorse later, looking back on the diary, and seeing the reasons she had to be put down.will really help. It's a truthful reminder. I am dealing with her blindness, her deafness and even her confusion, but I really have a problem with her house messing. People and animals cannot cohabitate in the same house with those conditions on a permanent basis. I am getting up super early , only to find that she already peed, or left droppings, I am getting tired too..
I will start charting her today.
Thank you Sanne, LeoRose and storyist for the good suggestions
 

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That’s another good point that I completely forgot. You have to think about YOUR mental health too. I know there is always guilty thoughts when you think about yourself not wanting to deal with it anymore, feeling too tired to keep up, but it is absolutely important to think about your own quality of life too when assessing the overall situation.
 

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I find what is really helpful when you are debating whether it is time or not is to keep a daily diary of sorts. Every day right down if it was an overall good or bad day for the dog. Things like how much stress was the dog in that day? How much pain? How many times did she seem happy and interested in things. For a lot of people, myself included, it can help a lot to be able to look back and see how the dog has been. If there has been more bad than good, it will help you to realize it's time to let go and the dog is not happy. We like to cling on to the good days and forget about the 20 other days in the month that the dog was miserable. It can go the other way too. Sometimes we see our old seniors have a horrible day and we think "oke it's time" but if you have a log to check back on you might realize majority of the days have been really good and there has only been a few really bad ones.

As for taking her to the vet in that condition.. just explain exactly what you have here, that for the dog's own safety you were not able to clean her up. They will understand. They go through people debating over when to make this decision ALL THE TIME. They know how difficult this is for the owner and that people need time to be sure they are making the right choice.

Good luck and Merry Christmas
Your comment touch my heart becaus i was in the same situation thank you so much and merry christmas to you too
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I've had my moments, my frustrations, and even moments of anger. Then I really feel guilted that I allow myself to be angry even if for moments,, other times I break down in tears, so yes, the lack of sleep and the constant stress over her has affected me as well.
Merry Christmas to you all as well,. I hope everyone's fur baby is doing well and you all can enjoy a nice Christmas together.
 

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I'm so sorry you're having to face this decision, especially this time of year. I had to put my old girl to sleep last November (probable brain tumor...she was 17 so we didn't bother with scans) and it was tremendously difficult, because, like your girl, she was still eating and still feisty. But she was at a point where every day was only going to be worse than the last. In retrospect I wish I had taken her in a few weeks earlier, but I wasn't ready.

Thinking that we will take action after Christmas, so the kids won't be sad that she's gone?
It might be that a peaceful goodbye now would be less painful than continuing to see her in this condition and dread what might happen next.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I am so sorry for your loss. Your girl had a long life, yet,still, I don't think anyone likes having to make the final decision?
Here, while I am hoping mine will pass peacefully at home when she is ready, , she may decide to linger, and live as long as yours did or even longer if I allow it, but like you say, in what kind of shape, and what kind of quality of life will she have, . With her having poodle in her, she could live until she's 18/ I know it's going to be painful, there is no getting around it. I hate making the appointment and then having the wait time between calling and the actual appt? I will break down at the time. The fact remains she isn't getting better, she won't get her eyesight back, she won't get her hearing back,.Her cognitive function, her constant messing on the floor like she feels is now acceptable, most likely won't change? We don't scold her, maybe in the beginning we did, but now it's pointless for one thing, she can't hear us or see us, but we still take her outside even after the mess is already done in the house, hoping her senses will come back to her. At this late stage, I don't want her treated either ,, why stress them through multiple tests, as their time is almost up. Also before I was considering Pet in home euthanasia, but I have to look into it more, it may be too costly to do it that way. They do take the dog and I guess there are options just like at the vet to keep their ashes or bury her in a communal plot. I would also need them to release her of her Pet license.
I already kept her too long, but in my mind I was giving her every fighting change to live longer, but I hate to say this, the memories over the last year are not good ones, her eye sight continued to worsen and now appears totally blind, , her hearing seemed to have gone rather suddenly, it was a year of struggling for her to go outside, My husband didn't think she would make last winter, but she did somehow.
 

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oh my......I'm sure I will be chastised.


What a cruel and inhumane existence. Allowing such pain, suffering and discomfort just so the kids won't be sad. I just am unable to fathom the rational.

You're companion of 15+ years needs to be released.

Please find the compassion to make the hard decision.
 

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This is a hard decision, and I don't envy you for having to make it. I think a lot of replies here have made very good points.

But another thing to consider: I don't know how old the grandkids are, but it's possible that seeing her in this condition could be more distressing for them than her not being there. It can be hard when your last memories of a beloved dog (even one that doesn't belong to you) is of them very sick and just not themselves. It may be kinder to leave them with the memories of past years when she was healthier, happier, and more 'with it'.

And there's always the chance that the stress and busy-ness of the holiday and visitors might cause a sudden change in her condition for the worse, which would just be awful all around.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
oh my......I'm sure I will be chastised.


What a cruel and inhumane existence. Allowing such pain, suffering and discomfort just so the kids won't be sad. I just am unable to fathom the rational.

You're companion of 15+ years needs to be released.

Please find the compassion to make the hard decision.
Thank you for your comment. Everyone is entitled to say what they feel they have to. even if it seems inappropriate to me at this time. As I said she IS NOT IN PAIN. Secondly,, the kids are use to seeing an old dog, so it's not like I'm embellishing suffering on their eyes. I'm trying to spare them the pain of more loss for the one day at Christmas, since they lost their grandmother this year? You may not be able to understand the sensitivity of that, but they don't need more loss to deal with? The dog is old but, they would want her around, at least for this one more Christmas. I'm sure to wait till then, before I euthanize .my dog, isn't inhumane and cruel as you put it, especially since the dog is not in pain. If she was of course, it would be dealt with immediately.,


As for the rest of your comment, thank you for your concern, I do plan on euthanizing her,, so we will leave it at that.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas.!
 

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Have to agree with Knute's blunt message here.

No amount of breathless pussyfooting around and acrobatic rationalizing will excuse delaying one's clear duty to this being.

Sorry.
 

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Reading the dog's body language is key to understanding the condition of the dog.

The snapping and biting are defensive clues saying "leave me alone. I don't feel good."

She is most likely in discomfort.

I feel for you, but I feel more for the dog.
 

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It is a very hard decision to make. I have been told that "you will know when it is time". If you see my two dogs in my picture, the pom we had to put to sleep last month. She would have been eleven tomorrow. Within a week of any symptoms and the diagnosis of liver cancer, we knew the day she was really having trouble that this was the time. This was last month and we miss her a lot but could not stand watching her not feeling good. Try to have precious moments. Our baby jumped up on the bed on her last day and wanted to be cuddled and she sure was cuddled. We didn't know this was the last day until hours later when she started having trouble.

As far as the stuff in her eyes, can you use a warm cloth and position him/her so you don't get bit? Our remaining dog is fourteen and can't see well and I don't think hear well and she gets gook in her eyes a lot. Tries to bite the washcloth but some times I can accomplish it.

Good luck. If your dog is giving you comfort, then it is even harder.
 

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When I had to euthenize my last dog, I made that decision even though she was still eating but was having so much trouble getting up and down and moving around. She was a Bernese cross so a big dog. One day she was lying on the floor and started to try and get up onto her bed. She finally just lay there and gave me the saddest look and I knew it was time. We don't have a vet that will come but we were able to load her in the Van and take her into the Vet. She loved her car rides. He came out to the Van and gave her a tranqulizer, then a few moments later gave her the final shot. She just peacefully went to sleep with me right there.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Thank you Snuggles and Kyllobernese and so sorry for your losses, So sad. I really understand the pain of losing a fur baby.; I had to euthanize 2 in the past,, even though it was hard, it was easier because they were visibly ill, one with kidney disease, another one with Cushing's, it was quicker with them because the Vet advised it as well? One was rather sudden and the other started showing vague symptoms over months. As you say, a pet owner knows when it's time to take them in. I am wondering what will be best for her, to take her into our local Vet or to have one of the new Euthanizing Vet services come out to the house? .
Oh, she does allow me to hold the warm compresses against her eye matt,but only for a bit, , but this matt is so stubborn and my wetting it down may be making it worse instead of better.
 

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It is a very hard decision to make. I have been told that "you will know when it is time". If you see my two dogs in my picture, the pom we had to put to sleep last month. She would have been eleven tomorrow. Within a week of any symptoms and the diagnosis of liver cancer, we knew the day she was really having trouble that this was the time. This was last month and we miss her a lot but could not stand watching her not feeling good. Try to have precious moments. Our baby jumped up on the bed on her last day and wanted to be cuddled and she sure was cuddled. We didn't know this was the last day until hours later when she started having trouble.

As far as the stuff in her eyes, can you use a warm cloth and position him/her so you don't get bit? Our remaining dog is fourteen and can't see well and I don't think hear well and she gets gook in her eyes a lot. Tries to bite the washcloth but some times I can accomplish it.
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Good luck. If your dog is giving you comfort, then it is even harder.
I'm so sorry you were having to face this decision, good luck to you too.
 
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