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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi everyone.

I'm a new member here and this is my first post. Hopefully I can fit in here OK. The other Canine forums won't let me become a member and they all have their forums set up to put a virus on my computer if I try to join up.
Long story short... I caught them off guard! I went into a pub a couple of months ago here in Belfast, Northern Ireland, UK. The pub was completely full, which I thought was strange. I sat down with my drink and realised they were all looking at me and mumbling to each other. On one table were three people, who I think were from the main American Dog forums and I could over hear everything they were saying about me and it was them who came up with the idea to set up their forums, so if someone from my IP address tries to register, it puts a virus on my computer which then emits an extremely loud tone from my PC which is too high pitched for me to hear but at exactly the level of a dogs! The idea was to send my dog insane with the constant noise but thank god they weren't clever enough to catch me out!

I wouldn't really mind but the stupid thing is. When they set all this up against me and had their meeting at the pub, I hadn't even considered joining a Canine forum! I had never ever thought of a forum about dogs! For all I knew at the time, dog forums might not even exist and I don't know any of the mods or members of all these forums (there are literally dozens, maybe hundreds all around the World. I tried to count how many dog forums there were but it got to confusing. All I know is that the pub they chose to have their meeting about me is one of the biggest in the Ulster region and it was full!)

That is what bothered me the most. They came from all over the World. There were mods and forum admins from France, Greece, China, Singapore, Kuwait, Bangladesh, USA, Argentina and obviously some local British/Irish ones too and the choose to have their meeting in MY TOWN! That made me sick! They are trying to show that they are untouchable and that they can completely control me and I can't do anything about it! Why not have the meeting in Finland? They are from Canine forums, so you would have thought if they were going to have an innocent get together, they would do so in Finland as a mark of respect to the Canine race.

AAaannnnyway! LoL.! Sorry, it appears that I lied when I said "cut a long story short" hehe and now I'm far too tired to actually talk about what I wanted to lol.

Allow me to introduce you to Sheena!...

There she is... on the way back from the match! As you can see from her expression, we lost;) (she doesn't really follow football/soccer. I was joking)

I will be having a good look around the forums (unless these good mods on this forum start getting controlled by the bad mods on the other forums and end up banning me) and if I can find an "Introduce Yourself and your Best Friend" thread, I will be sure to give my and She'Girl’s story. Until then though, if there is one thing you need to know, it is that Sheena is a Punk Rocker!:cool:

Now... if I may introduce you to some other dogs. I have no connection with these dogs, I have only ever heard of them through the internet and I'm sure many of you have also come across the following vids.


(will you look at that gorgeous Husky! What a beautiful dog!)

Now. I've made a bit of a bungle here. I had forgotten but since those spies on the other Canine forums injected my laptop with virii, I have to open in "Safe mode with Networking" all the time, so although I can see the vids, I cannae hear them. So, I'm not going to be able to discuss properly what I wanted to. The important thing though is that these are videos of talking dogs. To whose ranks, my Sheena has recently joined!

I think this is complete proof of the true intelligence of our Doggy friends and it should put that whole "do dogs have a soul" - which I never doubted for a second - to bed!

It is obvious to me that all dogs try and speak to us but they just don't have the vocal cords and larynx, etc, designed in a way that is conducive to speech. We know that dogs understand us but they actually understand more than we realise! They have spent their lives listening to us converse with other humans. They sit by the TV for hours, they understand our languages as well as we do and at times you can see them getting frustrated because they are literally thinking the following, word for word "I am sick of my stupid voice box! I want to join in their conversation but my genetic makeup is prohibiting me! If only they knew that I was as intelligent as them and that I can understand English/French/Spanish/Manderin/Cantonese/German/Afrikaans/Swahilli/Bengali/etc/etc then they would be able to help me with my design for the synthetic voice box, which I can't make myself because of my stupid paws without opposable thumbs!"

Everyone of us sees that our pals are trying to tell us something. They gesticulate to us in their own restricted manner and doesn't it just look like they are about to speak at any moment? Don't you find yourself looking at them, expecting them to comment on something, or without thinking, having a long conversation with them all the way throughout a film or television program, discussing your thoughts on the show when you realise there has been no response and feel like kicking yourself when you realise s/he can't speak, that s/he's just a dog??

Well, this is the point! S/he ISN'T just a dog!!! Well, s/he is but that bit isn't the point. The real point is that today "just a dog" is something of an oxymoron.

Before I started posting this thread, I had a long and very heartfelt conversation with Sheena. We have been speaking now almost constantly since she first manage to master her outtakes (is the opposite of "intake", "outtake"? Confused!lol) of breath (that was how Sheena finally managed to start speaking fluently but apparently each dog has a different reason the words can only come out as a bark or a yelp, due to their many different forms and builds). I have been wanting to write about this since day one but for several reasons, Sheena wouldn't allow it and when I had told her about what happened in the pub and all the persecution I have been receiving from all the other Canine forums, she was so upset she told me she is thinking that learning to speak with humans was the wrong decision, as they are obviously vicious mammals.

I was really hoping that she would allow me to film her like those other dogs but she doesn't feel quite ready for that yet, which is a real shame because as you can see from those vids, they are far from mastering the technique. Take for example the Bull-Mastiff who is discussing Cryptozoology in the first video. Although she is obviously trying hard and her vocabulary is extremely good - as good as the average human of around the same age - her technique is all to whack! It is heartbreaking to see because she is trying so hard and if you are anything like me, you would have found a slight lump in your throat as she tells her human friend "it hurts too much and I have so much to tell you"<sad face> (sorry, I have already used as many smiley faces as I'm allowed). But me and Sheena are going to spend a good couple of hours watching her in that vid, tomorrow and see if we can't figure out where she is going wrong and what the right technique for her would be and then I will email the Human and explain it to them.

It is 3:15 am here now, so I will get to sleep, I think.

I am hoping Sheena will open up a bit more and allow me to record her. The thing is, she has some extremely, extremely important information that desperately needs to be shared with mankind but she has made me swear on her life that I will keep it a secret, which is breaking me up! I am hoping that if I get her favourite biscuits tomorrow, she might tell me more and allow me to share the info.

Please feel free to ask any questions to either of us. Sheena has great incite into her race, so if you have any concerns about your furry friends or you would just like to get some information of what it is like to be a Dog from a first hand source, we would be more than happy to oblige.

I apologise if this post is all over the place. I am extremely excited about this but at the same time, quite exhausted.

Thank you very much, whichever one of you it was for cutting the sirens off while I was typing and thank you all for taking the time to read.

All the very best to one and all, be you biped or quadruped! :D
 

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...I once had a too long conversation with a man diagnosed with Schizophrenia. At the time we met he told me he hadn't been taking his prescribed medication like "they" wanted him to so "they" couldn't control him. The rest of our discussion wasn't about the bad moderators of the dog forums of the world getting together and plotting against people they don't even know, but it did go on eerily similar to this post!

Welcome to DogForums.com? Or should I say, ooo bow wohwow bark? Yip.
 

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Wonderful story! too bad the Mods of this forum weren't invited! I'd LOVE to have have a pint with the other mods of other dog forums in a Pub in Ireland!
 

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creaming soda just came spurting out my nose and onto the screen...and now my head hurts....all i can say is.....o.......................m.....................g.

you should think about writing a book. entitled "the sinister side of dog forums"
or "the dangers of mixing alcohol and prescription meds"
 
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