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separation issues

1K views 18 replies 8 participants last post by  scropper 
#1 ·
I have had Jaz for almost 3 wks now. Just got her used to sleeping in her bed in the kitchen at night, whining is getting less and less, but now there's a new problem, she won't leave my side. I can't go to the bathroom, the kitchen, out side or anything without her whining now. she settles fine when I'm sitting next to her, I am feeling really tied, and tired too, physically. I leave her for 2 half days a week and I am sure she cries then, but I have to go out.

I am at a loss as to what to do next. will this anxiety last long? I have to go on holiday in a month's time, and leave her for 2wks. I hope she will be ok then. all I seem to do is worry worry worry, I thought I would enjoy having a new pup.:rolleyes:

please help! :eek:
 
#2 ·
Puppies are born with the instinct to stay close to the pack. This isn't separation anxiety, it's survival. As they grow older, they learn that being alone is OK. The whinning is partly attention and partly not knowing what to do, or when, especially now that she's in a new home. That's where a set routine can help as dogs find structure comforting/predicable.

Practice leaving her in a room by herself with a juicy soup bone, a stuffed Kong or a Buster Cube while you do the laundry or sit at the computer. That teaches her that good things happen when she's alone. That takes time and practice. Ignore whinning...don't even look at her. Only give attention for the good behaviors...sitting politely, laying quietly at your feet or in her bed, while playing nicely with her toys, etc.
 
#3 ·
thanks for that, I've been searching this site for tips and found a passage that says exactly what you said, about ignoring the whining, I've been doing that most of the day, busying myself and letting her get on with it, she settled ok, if only for a short while, in her bed, I have tried the kong, but as she's so tiny, the treats I put in give her the 'runs' pooey poop, so I limit that one to an occasional thing. not sure about bones, as she is only just over 2lbs in weight! (What's a 'buster cube' ?? not sure whether they are called something else here in the uk) but I'm all in for something new!
Thanks for your suggestions. It makes me feel a little less anxious myself.
I only want what's best for my dog and not to end up disliking her! she's a little 'dear' really.
 
#5 · (Edited)
i didn't want to start a new thread if my situation was similar. so i hope people see this and reply because i need advice. :)

my boyfriend and i have had our cocker/lab mix pup since 4 weeks. it's a long story but basically it was us or the pound for her and so we had to take her early. she is a wonderful 10 week old puppy and sleeps through the night without waking up. the only main issue we have is that my BF was laid off from his job and is starts back up again next monday. he was given a weeks notice so this week he has been practicing having her in her crate for a few hours and then letting her out... and increasing the time each day. we put toys and her dog food in there and she still only seems to want to be in there when she is asleep and then placed in her crate. if she is awake and we try to put her in there she will scream and whine. we try to let her whine until she just stops but we live in a townhome so we don't want to make a large amount of noise and get in trouble. (we are allowed to have pets).

any suggestions that will help her realize that it's ok to be in her crate and that we aren't leaving her forever? i know she will get better with time but for now is there anything that might help her? other than toys, food, water, and a t-shirt of ours? we do all that already. lol. i know she has become really attached to my BF so i think that's going to be tough too.

also... would anyone recommend those water bottle things (like hampsters have) instead of a water dish in her crate? because she knocks her water over a lot.

last question... lol. her vet said it is ok for her to be in her crate for 8-9 hours as long as she had toys, food, and water. i always heard pups that little needed to be let out in between that time. but both of us will be working too far away and i have no friends or family that are home during the day to help.


... help!
 
#6 · (Edited)
Hi there, you seem to have the same problems as I have/had! I wrote in length about my 8wk old whining and crying, we also live in an apartment and I was afraid of the noise. but I listened to what all these expert guys on here had to say, and tried to make them work for me.
First of all my partner works shifts, one week he is early the next late, so we can't really get into a routine, which doesn't help, but I have to work 2 days a week and she was left with a crate. Not IN the crate, because she cries, barks,whines constantly, so I did what someone suggested and leave the crate in a room (in my case, my kitchen) no carpets, just strewn with puppy pads, and the crate door open. food and water, toys, a stuffed
kong, a fluffy toy (like her brothers/sisters) and at first a ticking clock on top of the crate wrapped in a towel. (PHEW!)
I was still panicking in case she cried and the downstairs neighbour would be offended, but I did bump into them and explained that I am training her to be alone at night and during the working day, they were fine, and said all they could hear was a distant cry. and now after a week, she only cries for a matter of minutes. and seems non-the-worse for it.
It's almost like having a new baby in the house. lol but I worried all the time, and got myself into a bit of a state about leaving/noise etc... but you have to just say to yourself SHE'S A DOG ! and there are many poor mutts out there with far less love and affection. my pup, and I am sure your pup will love you no matter what.
read some of the stickies on here, they are invaluable. and listen to cesar millan, the 'dog whisperer', and stay calm and assertive. it really does work.
good luck and let's know how it goes.
p.s. I'm gonna give my neighbour a bunch of flowers next week, just to say 'thanks for putting up with us'
 
#7 ·
you are lucky to have such wonderful neighbors. mine aren't so sweet. but i might let them know anyway just so they have a heads up. our puppy is a chewer otherwise i'd leave her in the kitchen with her crate open. that and she has learned how to pounce on our baby gate and knock it over!! i'm glad you said you have to remind yourself that she is a dog and that there are many dogs out there with far less love. i know she will be safe and well fed, and that's all that really matters. i guess it's a good thing i leave before my BF does in the morning because she listens to him a lot better and if i were home i'd probably be calling off a lot or going in late because of her. he said this morning it took her about 10-15 minutes to stop whining and then once she stopped he left the room and went downstairs. i told him to "pretend" to leave so that way if she does scream for hours at least we'll know. (just fyi-her crate is up in our bedroom and it has a light blankie over it. she doesn't like seeing us pass by when she's in there. it disracts her.)

i will definitely keep you posted! thank you for the quick reply! :)
 
#8 ·
Hope all goes well, it's funny though, it seems you get passed one problem, the next day there's another! lol today she started barking at me in the shower! what's that for?? lol i tried to show her... wet dog! but she didn't stop, just ran outside the bathroom and pooped! perhaps she's scared I'm gonna drown! and then barked at the hairdryer.... what's next? lol last week these had no effect on her at all... i wonder if it's playfulness, fright or just 'i want attention' sigh..... I suppose it'll stop soon, then what?
Oh the joys of puppyhood!
 
#9 ·
i think that's just her hearing new noises and objects. she might not be scared of them but maybe it's more of a territorial thing. "this is my home and i'm the top dog". lol. my puppy loved being dried with the hair dryer until she turned around and saw what was making her feel so warm and fuzzy. a BIG hair dryer! ahhhh! lol. she got scared and jumped off my lap. lol. :p silly girl!
 
#10 ·
My puppy doesn't want me out of her sight either, but it is getting better. From time to time, I put her in her kennel just so she can be away from me. Often she cries for a bit, but then she settles in fine. You might also make a point of talking or singing or something when you are out of her sight, to let her know you are still there.
 
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#14 ·
I just got a puppy and i can't even go out of the room without it whining. If I am on one side of the babygate and he is on the other he still whines and gets hyper even though he can still see me.
 
#17 ·
(please note that i do not abuse my dog, but i wanted to try different methods)

i flicked my puppies nose (lightly) after she bit me and she didn't stop. in fact, flicking her nose or patting her head or bottom only made her want to attack me more. i have found that when i tell her no bite in a firm low (and quick) voice and then ignore her with my arms crossed she will stop acting crazy and come over and lick me. then when i still ignore her she tries to get my attention by rolling over in front of me. once she has really calmed down i will give her attention again. let's just say i don't flick/hit anymore. it doesn't work! but my boyfriend has totally different methods than i do. he will yell and smack her butt (not hard). he and i have fought over how to train/teach her the right way. and i'm afraid she isn't doing well with behaving because when she is with me i try to ignore bad behavior and praise good. he, on the other hand, punishes bad behavior and pretty much doesn't do anything when she is being good. and when i try to get him to see my way he doesn't listen. do you think i should ask the vet while my boyfrend is present? that way he can see that i get my advice from an actual animal doctor?!

sorry i am rambling.
 
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