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SA: Only with Me.

723 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Allie3985
Misty trains with the other members of my family and any friend that wants to do so (basic commands and parlor tricks). My boyfriend and his dad are the usually the ones who feed her--sometimes his sisters do when they are visiting. I have other people walk her, etc. I am the primary walker/trainer, however.

I have this set up to avoid her becoming attached only to me and so she will obey commands from anyone. (She still only obeys me if I have her in a stay and someone is calling her. If I am present, she will listen to me over anyone else).

Despite all of this, she will begin to cry and whine hysterically if I leave her at my mom's house WITH my boyfriend. He is her best friend and takes care of her about as much as I do. But the second I leave (to run a quick errand or pick something up), she becomes inconsolable. I come back and she's fine. She will whine the ENTIRE time I am gone and have nothing to do with anyone. She won't play, won't eat, won't take treats. She has visited my mom's house PLENTY, including as a young puppy.

There's none of this at home. She doesn't whine when I leave at all. This is only when we take her to visit at my mom's house or various other places she's been before and has already become accustomed to.

I don't know if it's true SA but I didn't know what else to call it. I think she may feel insecure when I leave, but I thought I was taking all necessary precautions to help her understand that other people (especially my boyfriend) take care of her and can be depended on as well. What can I do to help curb this? Should I simply not leave her anywhere but home?
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Fortunately, it's not true SA which is fairly rare BTW as it's a medical condition. The symptoms of SA are self-mutilation, inappropriate urination/defecation, constant pacing, whining, howling, barking, destructiveness, etc. and a hormone imbalance that is treated with medication.
I suspect that others (BF?) might have tried to console her when this happens and that can make things worse....'proving' to her that your leaving is something to be concerned about. Along with ignoring the behavior you can try leaving her with something really, really good like a huge soup bone which works quite well especially if she hasn't eaten yet. (Chewing is a stress reliever).
I have the same problem and fixing it is slow going but it has improved.

I go to my mom's house and give Mary a distraction like a bone, toy, food, my mom with treats, whatever, and then just leave the room very briefly and walk back in. I softly praise her if she either didn't notice my leaving or noticed but didn't start to cry. I gradually have built up the amount of time that I'm out of the room for. If she cries then I just ignore it and shorten the time that I'm away again.

I'm to the point now that I can walk out of the front door for a little while without her being upset.

I have also been working stays with her at home where I walk outside and then back in and expect her to stay. We do this at the obedience club as well. If she doesn't break her stay we have a big party when I come back.
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