She follows me around the house, plays well, is taking to the crate well, is very smart (she knows leave it, sit, down, up, stand, look at me, her name), etc. but I am not sure I am the best dog mom for her. Here's why:
You are more than likely going through the "puppy blues" and maybe a bit of regret that you didn't get the dog that you wanted.
When I was searching for my second dog, I wanted a well bred Border Collie. I felt guilted and pulled in several directions, and ended up handing over the choice to my husband (as it was going to be more his dog). I ended up with a working bred Border Collie, from a "meh" breeder. Because this dog wasn't what I wanted, I felt regretful of her for a long time. I didn't actually like my puppy.
She had a lot of the same things you are going through. Her fear periods were terrible. She nasty growled and snapped at my adult dog, for the first 2 days. She was not social with other dogs/puppies in class (this also wasn't a good class, lol). She would even growl at me if I was in her space and she didn't want me to be, or if she was afraid of getting "punished" (I never punished her on purpose, but we had an incident during a fear period). She was friendly with people thankfully, but after awhile she could still revert to the uncomfortable growl once the excitement wore off.
Part of the reason she was like this is that she wasn't well socialized prior to coming to me, at least not with any kind of special program. Part of this was because her breed/breeding are not like your typical pet bred dogs. Her behaviors aren't atypical of her breed, especially when the owner is lacking in how to deal correctly with this type of dog. The biggest reason for most of her issues: Incorrect socialization on MY part or accidents during a fear period that imprinted forever.
Careful socialization is KEY with dogs that lack confidence or aren't your typical "pet" breed. It's not that a Golden Retriever shouldn't also have this correct socialization.. it's that Goldens, Labs etc are more hardwired to forgive your mistakes. They are bred to be more outgoing and friendly. That's why they make such great pets.
Correct socialization means setting your dog up for success and building confidence. I prefer puppy classes that focus less on socialization with dogs and more on building confidence "around" dogs. So introducing them to lots of different surfaces, showing you how to build a positive relationship with your dog and such. Your dog doesn't need to actually meet a bunch of dogs to be well socialized. Meeting the wrong dog can backfire for life (as it did with mine -- she hates black dogs to this day). Casually seeing dogs, or sniffing/hanging with a very well behaved neutral dog will be MUCH more beneficial in the long run than ever getting to play with dogs. Dog parks and doggy day cares are just asking for bad incidents. The same with people. They don't have to directly meet and love every person. Walking by casually, rewarding them for being calm or interested without fear while the human basically ignores them until they gain more confidence. That is really all you can ask for. So my advice, take a step back. Take things slow. Build confidence through play, and relaxed casual encounters. Like, I would go to a park or a college campus with a bag of treats and a high value toy. Then I would walk around at a distance, and just play, work on obedience skills, climb on nearby rocks, benches (make it fun and confidence building). Slowly get closer to the "commotion" as the dog is relaxed. And unfortunately, you will have to turn people away if they want to pet, or have their dog meet yours. There are lot of different socialization resources out there with ideas! I'm not the best at gathering them though.
I wish I had known with my girl. In the end, she still has some quirks but she actually turned out to be a really good dog. I regretted her for about 2 years -- but that was my own fault. Instead of accepting the dog I had and changing the way I did things I just resented that I ever let my husband talk me into her. But having her has completely changed the way I see dog behavior and socialization. I appreciate everything she is. I appreciate the ways she's shaped my attitude and understanding. Turns out, I don't regret her one bit. I can't tell you what is best for you, but I thought I'd share my experience.
When I was searching for my second dog, I wanted a well bred Border Collie. I felt guilted and pulled in several directions, and ended up handing over the choice to my husband (as it was going to be more his dog). I ended up with a working bred Border Collie, from a "meh" breeder. Because this dog wasn't what I wanted, I felt regretful of her for a long time. I didn't actually like my puppy.
She had a lot of the same things you are going through. Her fear periods were terrible. She nasty growled and snapped at my adult dog, for the first 2 days. She was not social with other dogs/puppies in class (this also wasn't a good class, lol). She would even growl at me if I was in her space and she didn't want me to be, or if she was afraid of getting "punished" (I never punished her on purpose, but we had an incident during a fear period). She was friendly with people thankfully, but after awhile she could still revert to the uncomfortable growl once the excitement wore off.
Part of the reason she was like this is that she wasn't well socialized prior to coming to me, at least not with any kind of special program. Part of this was because her breed/breeding are not like your typical pet bred dogs. Her behaviors aren't atypical of her breed, especially when the owner is lacking in how to deal correctly with this type of dog. The biggest reason for most of her issues: Incorrect socialization on MY part or accidents during a fear period that imprinted forever.
Careful socialization is KEY with dogs that lack confidence or aren't your typical "pet" breed. It's not that a Golden Retriever shouldn't also have this correct socialization.. it's that Goldens, Labs etc are more hardwired to forgive your mistakes. They are bred to be more outgoing and friendly. That's why they make such great pets.
Correct socialization means setting your dog up for success and building confidence. I prefer puppy classes that focus less on socialization with dogs and more on building confidence "around" dogs. So introducing them to lots of different surfaces, showing you how to build a positive relationship with your dog and such. Your dog doesn't need to actually meet a bunch of dogs to be well socialized. Meeting the wrong dog can backfire for life (as it did with mine -- she hates black dogs to this day). Casually seeing dogs, or sniffing/hanging with a very well behaved neutral dog will be MUCH more beneficial in the long run than ever getting to play with dogs. Dog parks and doggy day cares are just asking for bad incidents. The same with people. They don't have to directly meet and love every person. Walking by casually, rewarding them for being calm or interested without fear while the human basically ignores them until they gain more confidence. That is really all you can ask for. So my advice, take a step back. Take things slow. Build confidence through play, and relaxed casual encounters. Like, I would go to a park or a college campus with a bag of treats and a high value toy. Then I would walk around at a distance, and just play, work on obedience skills, climb on nearby rocks, benches (make it fun and confidence building). Slowly get closer to the "commotion" as the dog is relaxed. And unfortunately, you will have to turn people away if they want to pet, or have their dog meet yours. There are lot of different socialization resources out there with ideas! I'm not the best at gathering them though.
I wish I had known with my girl. In the end, she still has some quirks but she actually turned out to be a really good dog. I regretted her for about 2 years -- but that was my own fault. Instead of accepting the dog I had and changing the way I did things I just resented that I ever let my husband talk me into her. But having her has completely changed the way I see dog behavior and socialization. I appreciate everything she is. I appreciate the ways she's shaped my attitude and understanding. Turns out, I don't regret her one bit. I can't tell you what is best for you, but I thought I'd share my experience.
