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I have a "friend" whose recent behavior really frustrates me.

When I first met her, she had 5 large breed dogs. She participated in sports with those who were able, and everybody got some time and training. Then she acquired two small breeds in quick succession, one from a shelter and one from a breeder. Just about a month later, she dumped three of her large breeds at a rescue, claiming she didn't have space/money (she had to move a bunch of times). A year later, she acquired a second small breed from the same breeder. Now she's looking to rehome one of the first small breeds (the rescued one), this time claiming she can't provide him enough attention.

So over the two-ish years I've known her, she's dumped 4 dogs and acquired 3. :doh: I have no doubt she'll be replacing this latest one as soon as he's out the door. I mean, WTH? Whatever happened to providing a forever home? Shouldn't your guilt at dumping a few make you think twice about adding more? Dogs aren't disposable!!!

What gets me the most is that she's always claiming to have the best interests of the dog at heart. Oh, I don't have the money, so he's better off elsewhere. Oh, I can't provide enough attention, so I'll find a home that can. Oh, she doesn't get along with my other dogs, so I'll find her a better home. While all this might be true, you should have thought of that before getting the dog!!!

I can't imagine trying to find an owner for my dog that could provide more than I do. If I could, I wouldn't have her, and I absolutely wouldn't go get another!
 

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So over the two-ish years I've known her, she's dumped 4 dogs and acquired 3.
My SIL was like this in her twenties - hence we took on two of her dogs, and fostered and rehomed two more. I was soooooo glad when she matured and became more responsible, but now 20 years later she is about to up and move to the U.S South from B.C., and has no interest in taking her 11 year old Golden mix OR 7-8 year old Bichon mix rescues with her. She has appointed them to her 19 year old daughter who has objections, and, herself, claims to be tired of the Bichon mix (which was originally purchased for her) and to want a giant breed. Of course this niece has no income so we're just waiting here to see what comes of it.

SOB
 

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Does she still do sports with them? I wonder if at some point it became more about the sport than the individual dogs. :(

Also some people are just addicted to that first rush of novelty... human OR dog relationships. Sad.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Does she still do sports with them? I wonder if at some point it became more about the sport than the individual dogs. :(

Also some people are just addicted to that first rush of novelty... human OR dog relationships. Sad.
I think you're probably right on both accounts. It's sad that someone who appears to love dogs so much (why else would she have so many?) actually isn't making much of connection with them at all.

I'd rather have one dog with whom I have an awesome connection than a whole gaggle of them who are interchangeable or replaceable.
 

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If I wanted to have a constant stream of "fun" new dogs to play with, I'd foster (well, I do that already but not for the "fun" of new dogs)
If I wanted a companion, someone to be by my side and love me and receive love in return, I'd have one special dog (which I do...)
If I wanted to just be in it for the fun of sports or training or showing, then I'd do that as a job and not actually adopt or purchase the dogs I'd work with.

If a dog truly is not suited for your home and lifestyle and you make the serious decision to rehome the dog and you rehome the dog correctly, I can understand. Sometimes that is best for both the dog and the original owner. But to have an in-and-out revolving door of dogs? Nope, not cool, not good, not right for dogs or owners.
 

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It seems that some people are all about quantity, and not so much it being a "forever thing"...it's almost like they do it for their own egos, and not for the ultimate good of the dogs...just MY opinion, of course.
 

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I agree with the novelty thing.

But then I think back to what it was like right after I adopted Kit. One of the many things stopping me from getting another dog is the hell that I went through for a few months after getting her. Those were the worst days of dog ownership for me. The reward comes now, when she's still young enough to be spunky, but she has grown a brain. My love for her has grown with time, rather than waning. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I agree with those who have said that my "friend" is probably seeking novelty, I don't understand that perspective at all. If you want novelty, try doing something new with your current dog.
 

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Definitely have lost my ability to tolerate people like this, after the places my dogs came from, volunteering for a rescue, and now working in a shelter. Every day I go to work and see all these cool dogs that live in a kennel that would be awesome to take home but I can't. I have six dogs, five of my own and one I had to legally adopt to save her from euthanasia. She goes in for heartworm treatment next Thursday and while not even my own it's killing me. It'll kill me when it's time to find her new family. I can't imagine having such a fleeting attachment to a dog. Shambles makes me want to murder things some days but he's never going any where.
 

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Definitely have lost my ability to tolerate people like this, after the places my dogs came from, volunteering for a rescue, and now working in a shelter. Every day I go to work and see all these cool dogs that live in a kennel that would be awesome to take home but I can't. I have six dogs, five of my own and one I had to legally adopt to save her from euthanasia. She goes in for heartworm treatment next Thursday and while not even my own it's killing me. It'll kill me when it's time to find her new family. I can't imagine having such a fleeting attachment to a dog. Shambles makes me want to murder things some days but he's never going any where.
Agreed. And what's strange is that all 4 of the dogs that she dumped were rescues themselves, so clearly she knows that crappy owners overburden the system. I dunno, in some ways her dogs have it better than a lot of others that you'd find at a shelter/rescue (they've had some vet care, training, enough to eat, etc.), but it's still sad. If you're not going to love a dog fully for its entire life, then don't make that promise.
 

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Of all the people who put dogs in shelters, this is the type that makes me feel dirty just for thinking about it.

I mean, somebody like that you expect will love, or at least respect her dogs.

There has to be some kind of deep-seated psychological problem here. I bet she's never had a long term relationship with another human being, either.

My mil used to love puppies. She owned 6 or 7 of 'em over a 10 year period. Never kept one longer than a year. She didn't like dogs, just puppies. She also had 7 husbands -- 6 divorces and still married to #7.
 

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Agreed. And what's strange is that all 4 of the dogs that she dumped were rescues themselves, so clearly she knows that crappy owners overburden the system. I dunno, in some ways her dogs have it better than a lot of others that you'd find at a shelter/rescue (they've had some vet care, training, enough to eat, etc.), but it's still sad. If you're not going to love a dog fully for its entire life, then don't make that promise.
Sometimes, especially when dogs get returned at work, I just want to shake people and say "Do you not know how long they live? Do you not know how confusing it is for them to go somewhere for a little while and then come back to a kennel?" but I know they do know, and the importance of how crappy their actions are is not important to them.
 

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Of all the people who put dogs in shelters, this is the type that makes me feel dirty just for thinking about it.

I mean, somebody like that you expect will love, or at least respect her dogs.

There has to be some kind of deep-seated psychological problem here. I bet she's never had a long term relationship with another human being, either.

My mil used to love puppies. She owned 6 or 7 of 'em over a 10 year period. Never kept one longer than a year. She didn't like dogs, just puppies. She also had 7 husbands -- 6 divorces and still married to #7.
Exactly, I'm betting it's a psychological problem. Closing yourself off from developing bonds with those in your life, including pets. No person capable of forming normal bonds and lasting relationships with human or animal could just go through dogs like dirty socks like that. When I first got Zoe, the rescue couldn't tell me how she was with cats. When I took her home, she definitely did not get along with the cats but we gave her time to see if she'd settle. She did not. I debated with myself on whether to give her back or not. My mother begged me not to, and in the end (after only 2 weeks with her) I couldn't bring myself to do it, I was already in love with her. To this day, she still is not a fan of the cats, but she would never hurt them. It really, REALLY irks me when people treats animals this way, as if they don't matter, they are not living creatures with feelings.
If she truly couldn't afford those dogs she re-homed, if she couldn't give them the time and attention they deserved, she certainly would not be running out to buy more. That is ridiculous! Have you said anything about it to her?
 

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Well, I think it could be a feel good thing cause every time a rescue person mentions their rescue program the natural thing is that people do the "Oh you're so wonderful and loving for that" Is it not possible that "the friend" dotes on this" what a wonderful person she is for all the good she is doing.

Well you can only mention you rescued one dog so many times but if you have a number of dogs coming and going you get more adoration from the populace. Just something to think about.
 

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Well, I think it could be a feel good thing cause every time a rescue person mentions their rescue program the natural thing is that people do the "Oh you're so wonderful and loving for that" Is it not possible that "the friend" dotes on this" what a wonderful person she is for all the good she is doing.

Well you can only mention you rescued one dog so many times but if you have a number of dogs coming and going you get more adoration from the populace. Just something to think about.
It doesn't matter what her reasoning is. It's still wrong. It's a selfish thing to do.
 
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