Ralphie the Chicken Chaser

Well, Ralphie is completely uninterested in herding chickens. So, I'm scrapping my Chicken Herder Dog dreams. Meal worms are more effective for bringing them to the coop anyway. He likes to watch them disapprovingly. The chickens like to sneak up behind him and scare him. Ralphie retaliates by peeing in their water...I soon switched to poultry nipple drinkers to prevent this.



In the above photo you can see Edith the California White and Cinnamon (or possibly Roll, I can't tell them apart) the ISA Brown playing tricks on poor Ralphie. They snuck behind him and made chicken noises, which Ralphie thought was rude.

Ugh, my poor dog. I make him endure such terrible things. Here you can see him suffering through the chickens blocking his view of the yard. I was in the other room and heard him whining, so I thought maybe he had to go outside. This is what I see.



This is just terrible. His disgust is apparent. Also, they're eating my flowers...

And here is a photo of the main abuser, Edith, who likes to follow Ralphie around and will pick leaves from his tail.



Of note, Edith is sleeping on one side the tree...and Ralphie was laying on the other watching the new 3 week old chicks.

Well, we had our first predator attack today. Fox, most likely. It took one adult chicken (Edith, the one pictured above, the top hen who I imagine was taking the place of a rooster and defending the flock) and three of my teenagers. I'm actually fairly surprised we've gone 6 months without any sort of accident of that manner.

Although Ralphie is a pathetic chicken herder, he was effective at recovering remains. Foxes tend to kill more than they can eat and then bury what they can't to keep for later. I'm assuming this fox is either very young or weak, as Ralphie successfully sniffed out my lost chickens less than 40 feet from the main attack site and fairly close to our house. I wouldn't have been able to find them without Ralphie. He almost seemed sad as we uncovered each one, but that also might have been because I didn't let him chew on them...

One teenager and five adults remain, all unharmed, just a tad shocked, I imagine. They followed Ralphie and I through the trees as we cleaned up, which was a little morbid. So, now I have experienced my first loss of livestock. Welcome to country life!

We put the garden to sleep today, and the whole crew was out to help. I felt ever so supported with cats winding around my ankles, a dog following be around and begging for treats, and a flock of chickens who had no remorse standing exactly in the spot I needed to throw mulch and clucking.



Ralphie has come to accept the chickens as a regular part of his life and isn't quite so disapproving any longer. He enjoys sniffing their fluffy butts for some reason, and then following them around and sniffing at whatever they're pecking at (grasshoppers, which are terrifying). Here you can observe Ralphie waiting for a treat while the chickens search for morsels.



The cats are endlessly annoying as well, but Ralphie likes them more because he can sometimes convince them to play. The orange one (Butters) will chase him when she's feeling fresh, which caused Ralphie to zoomie today, and then a chicken got run over (the chicken is fine but perturbed). This is, thankfully, the closest Ralphie has come to injuring a chicken.



Here is a photo of the entire flock cleaning up some crushed vegetables. Ralphie was off camera watching the red one in the back repeatedly bang her head into the unripe pumpkin, which made a curious hollow thunking sound. I suspect this is how that particular chicken lives her life, just making things make that noise, because she does this to my door, the walls of the barn, and a very old little building that produces a particularly loud and alarming thunking noise.



And here we are on our lunch break, with the chickens napping on the back porch steps and Ralphie ignoring them. Notice how they take up the exact middle of the walkway so as not to miss out on anyone coming or going.



And, bonus photo (!) Pudgy Princess the Calico Cat, who is the meanest cute creature I have ever met. She will attack your hand if you don't pet her enough, is responsible for most of the scratches on my hands and knees, SCREAMS when the food bowl is empty, and teases the dog relentlessly. You can see her here after successfully sitting and doing nothing but refusing to move from this seat while the dog stood there and wagged his tail wanting to climb up with her. He, of course, will not run over this particular cat so had to retreat in disgrace. I did not get a picture of this interaction because my hands were full of dirt, unfortunately.

Have you ever given a chicken a bath? Ralphie and I have. One of my chickens developed quite a messy butt, and the mess froze to the poor thing's feathers. I had to bring her inside and give her a bath in the laundry sink. Ralphie was horrified, as never before has one of the chickens been allowed into his domain.



Positively disgusted. Wouldn't you know, though, chickens enjoy baths? More than the dog does, that's for sure.



She happily sat and soaked in this bucket for a good 20 minutes so the mess fell right off, and then I just held her like a potato under the tap and rinsed her off. Her name is Little Bit but also sometimes a curse word because I find her in high, weird places more often than I expected.

Because it is cold out, I blow dried her. I thought this would for sure be a disaster (why I proceeded to do it, I do not know). There were no casualties, luckily. I tried to upload a video to prove that I did it and also it's hilarious but it's not working at the moment so I'll figure it out later.

Here is a photo of the chickens one of the last times they agreed to go outside. You can see I had to throw hay on the ground to get them to step on the snow. I believe this was late October.



It has been very cold and very snowy here lately, neither of which the chickens nor Ralphie like. Ralphie enjoys accompanying me into the coop now because he doesn't want to sit outside and sniffing every chicken to ensure it is, in fact, alive. The chickens vehemently refuse to step outside. They haven't been outside in like 3 months even though they have full access to the outdoors (except on the very, very cold hurts to breathe days, then I lock them in).

Oh, and the ladies received a rooster. A lady my MIL knows has a flock in town and isn't allowed a rooster, so we somehow ended up with it. The rooster's name is Kyle and he is supposed to protect the hens, but so far he just runs away if you look at him sideways. He also grabs the loose dish of oyster shells and flings it across the coop for some reason. He's about 3 feet tall and Ralphie thinks he's great, mostly because he can kind of herd this one, mostly into my face.

Well, here we go again. With the arrival of the muddy spring melt comes a new batch of baby chicks! I got ten. Somehow, I practiced some self control. I could have fit five more in the box.



This time I have 2 Speckled Sussex, 1 Sapphire Gem, 2 Midnight Majesty Marans, 2 Black Laced Wyandottes, 1 Buff Orpington, and 2 Prairie Bluebell Eggers. Several of them already have curse words for names, and one looks at me like she's about to beat me up.

Ralphie has done this three times, now, so baby chicks aren't quite so novel anymore...but he still gets pretty excited. He even tried to shove one up his nostril while I was cleaning a bit of pasty butt from tis feathers.



This will last about 3 more weeks, at which point Ralphie will realize they're chickens, not snacks, and disapprove of them entirely.

The adult chickens are much happier now that much of the snow has melted and they can forage outside. They have commandeered my flower gardens as their dust baths and flung all the mulch out onto the lawn. Kyle the rooster learned how to run like a proper chicken.

And here is one more photo of baby chicks.