Oh it's easy to deal with a puppy and a 3 year old kid!
First, clear the dishes and put them in the sink. Remind the 3 year old no more snacks and put the tv on for her. Remove the beef bone the puppy has snuck out of a crate from said puppy, give puppy a treat in a kong and put the bone out of reach.
Find the dishsoap on the front lawn. Put the hose in the birdbath to flush the soap and bubbles out and explain that birds don't like bubble baths. Brush dirt off puppy and return both to the house. LOCK the front door to contain them.
Put soap in the sink. Locate the sound of the loud crash as the 3 year old attempting to turn the light on for her new pet frog. Carefully move large log in aquarium and recover said frog who has hidden beside the water dish and is not squashed. Sweep up floor, trade dustpan for toy with puppy.
Remove several electronic toys, one shoe and pjs from sink, wiping soap off and putting them away. Realize 3 year old has gone out the back door. Put puppy on leash and locate 3 year old who is now topless and drinking water out of a mikes hard lemonade bottle while standing on sidewalk. Wave to stuffy neighbors across the street. Move recycle bin out of reach.
Locate plug for sink in kid's bed and plug sink. Realize that 3 year old has discovered gravity and is demonstrating this to puppy with a roll of tp and stairs. Save part of roll and pick up assorted bits of paper from around the house as three year old and puppy play tug and run with remaining paper.
Set up xpen for puppy and put her in said pen with several chew toys on lawn. Apply sunscreen and bug spray to 3 year old, give her bubbles, sandbox, wading pool and bike to amuse herself. While she is busy, start weeding flower garden.
Bring puppy inside to bath the mud off of her, and drag 3 year old in the house so she isn't running at large while doing so. Bath mud and bubble solution out of puppy and hope the addition of sand doesn't mess up the tub drain. Change 3 year old into clean outfit by arguing over each and every detail.
Move xpen to front yard and omit bubbles, sand and wading pool as options. Sidewalk chalk and small toys will keep her amused. Work on weeds in front yard.
Remain calm when 3 year old announces that she pooped. Bravely ask where. Ignore the laughter from across the street from perfect lawn neighbors overhearing you ask why your child chose the lawn as a place to poop.
Use already pocketed poop bags and wonder if child is adopted or needs more human friends.
Put 3 year old on steps for time out. Abort any attempt to get things done and drink a full mikes.
