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Is she generally a fearful and shy dog? My two fearful dogs chose me as the safe anchor in their lives. Everybody else is a potential dog eating monster. It took the first dog years before his tunnel vision could finally comprehend that even though I was with him in one room that another person could be in another room at the same time. His world was me and everything else appeared out of the abyss. Bucky upped that one. The new person entering his world was a dog eating monster and he screamed in terror for months when my daughter came into the room. Now he only barks a normal irritating greeting when she's been gone and usually doesn't have to bark if she was just out of the room. Usually.

Poor daughter is now a fairly safe person. I would leave her in charge when I went away for weekends and he figured out she was okay. So feeding is a big deal. If you take over the feeding that's a big deal for dogs. Since your wife has to be there then split the task. She's there but you get the bowl, measure out the food and put it down. Back away and sit facing away from her if she is wary of you being in the same room as she eats.

Never had issues with going out to potty. Perhaps have your long suffering wife take her to the door and wait there to attempt to wean her a bit? What I have always done with my young adult rescued dogs is take them out on leash to potty. Perhaps both of you go with her holding the leash then both go out but you hold the leash then have your wife hang back a step then two and so on as your pup gets more comfortable with this.

Perhaps working as a family with her will help too. A fun game is to sit in a circle with treats in your hand and call her to and fro giving her a treat when she comes. If she won't come to certain people even with that food lure then have that person sit with your wife and have her hand in that person's. You could make it even easier by praising/clicking if she looks or makes eye contact with the person calling. One person in charge of the clicker though! As the dog gets the game spread out then go out of sight and all over your property.

As for training go directly to positive techniques as if you are training a wild animal. Put her on leash and sit down. If she looks or moves toward you praise [or click] and treat. If she clearly would rather not approach you then toss the treat a bit away from you rather than hand feed.

Adolescent dogs are frustrating. I get my dogs at this stage in their lives figuring there's no where to go but up. Bucky was supposed to be 2 years old when I got him but clearly is stuck at this stage of life. I had to teach him that it was possible to lay down and rest out of his pen. Before that he would commit a minor doggy crime and have a time out. He would lay down and nap in his pen. The dog crime rate went way down after he learned to nap on his own! In his case simply getting a down worked. I sat down with him leashed and waited him out. When he lay down I clicked/praised and tossed a small treat away from him so he had to get up to get it. Rinse and repeat until my small handful of treats were gone. Repeated next day and the day after he was laying down on cue next to the other dog for treats and miracle of miracles was caught napping in the sunshine!

Also worked on relaxing with Karen Overall's Relaxation Protocol. If you've been to training class you know you gradually increase time and difficulty to get a good down stay. Well it's all written out for you here and it works. On my own I never could get my first fearful dog to be quiet when the doorbell rang. I used fancy gadgets and thought I was plenty patient but didn't get anywhere. Bucky can actually hold a down stay quietly if I walk out of sight, ring the doorbell and pretend to hold a conversation. As for the relaxing part, works as well. On walks when Bucky is frantic in a new place or after an upset I'll do a bit of it until he calms down and is as normal as he ever is.

And of course as always you have invited an animal to live with you. Manage the situation and keep doors closed, counters clear, trash put away and all that. I wouldn't drag her out from under the bed. The shoe is a done deal and you chasing her down makes it that much more valuable. It isn't a safe situation but she isn't actually going to die in 5 minutes, this isn't a life threatening emergency. For now your wife is going to have to take charge when pup finds a treasure. I run to the place treats come from calling the dog as I go. My dogs have never had things pulled away so they easily give up the treasure for a dog cookie. Once pup has figured out you are not a dog eating monster that loves to feed her treats you probably will be able to do the same - run away from dog to treats and trade treat for treasure.

Even normal dogs love to return home. Ginger's the most stable dog I've ever had and her routine as she enters the house is to run down the hall, leap over the sofa and jump into my lap to give me a kiss. She's not happy if I'm not home or in the wrong spot!

Bucky buries bones. It was too funny the first time he had a real bone. As a precaution he was penned on the patio. When he was done he scrabbled at the concrete, put the bone in the imaginary hole and buried it by pushing air over it with his nose. You would think he was having a fit if you didn't see that bone! So he is kept penned if there's a bone as a treat. When he's done then that treat goes up. Management again! And I don't grab the bone. I toss a treat away from it then put my foot on the bone or the pen wall over it.
 

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I cannot say this about other dogs but if Bucky is backing away from somebody and staying in front of me he isn't being protective, he's afraid and depending on me to keep him safe. Since possibly a bad person could be deterred from assault if Bucky growled this could count as protecting me. I guess.

Guess Bucky is better too. When I go out he will cling to my daughter now rather than put his nose in the front door's crack and wait for me there. When I'm home he alternates between supervising my activities, napping and patrolling outside looking for trouble and he doesn't do any of that when I'm gone.
 
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