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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I'm sitting here crying about my weight for the first time in my life because my mom has been lecturing me almost daily for the past month about my weight. She makes me feel so awful about it even though I am perfectly healthy other than my back and my weight. I don't mind my weight, in fact I even find people my size and even bigger extremely attractive. It's my mom's comments that are upsetting me and affecting my self esteem. I don't think she understands how much it hurts.

edit: I found this video and it made me feel better, I figured maybe other people here could use it too.

 

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Just don't let her get to you. I get comments on the age gap in my relationship, and although its a different situation, my parents act in a similar manner. They constantly tell me its ridiculous, disgusting, stupid, etc. But you know what I tell my mother? I am HAPPY, and why should she care about the age of the person who loves me dearly, if I am happy? She brings me to tears quite often telling me "When is this going to end" as if the whole thing is a joke. We've been together for 16 months, and I am doing better then I ever have, yet she still finds it necessary to belittle me about it. But you know what? Even though it hurts when she lectures me on how the way I live my life is stupid, I know that I am happy with my life, and I just try not to let it get to me.

I agree its mean that she harasses you about your weight, but all that matters is that YOU are happy with yourself, and that YOU feel good about yourself. She should be happy that you are doing well, and feel good about yourself. I understand that your mother's comments can hurt your self esteem, as my moms comments do the same, but then I realize that you know what? I am a happy person, in my situation, my self esteem as gone up because I am in a situation where I am not only comfortable to be myself, but I'm loved and cared for. Don't let it get to you girl, because no matter what you are beautiful, no matter what they say (I love that song lol)!!


Keep holding your head up high, and as hard as it is, don't let it get to you. You are happy and thats all that matters:)
 

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Get a physical, and then you can either prove that you are healthy and fine, or you will see that you are obese and in danger of resulting health issues. My guess would be that your mom loves you and is worried about health issues that can result from being obese. She may not be very tactful about showing her concern.
If you are obese, but don't want to make any changes to it or your lifestyle, then you need to just treat it like someone that smokes would treat a parent that is telling their child (adult) to quit smoking because they are worried about their health. Just say something along the lines of "Yes, I know it's unhealthy, but I am not at the point in my life where I want to change anything about it. But thank you for your concern."
 

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My aunt tells me I'm fat everytime I go over there. I know I am. It's a true statement. It used to bother ne but bot anymore. I have been trying to loose weight. It's hard and difficult but I'm not happy in how I look/feel. I used to get so upset I would cry and walk home(3/4 miles). With her I think its a cultural differance(she's from south Korea she net my uncle when he was over there for the army). I know I'm unhealthy and I know I am in a high risk of diabetes as it runs in the family. Cancer is also in the family. I am trying hard to do what best for ME. But what's bad for one person can be okay for another.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 

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Get a physical, and then you can either prove that you are healthy and fine, or you will see that you are obese and in danger of resulting health issues. My guess would be that your mom loves you and is worried about health issues that can result from being obese. She may not be very tactful about showing her concern.
If you are obese, but don't want to make any changes to it or your lifestyle, then you need to just treat it like someone that smokes would treat a parent that is telling their child (adult) to quit smoking because they are worried about their health. Just say something along the lines of "Yes, I know it's unhealthy, but I am not at the point in my life where I want to change anything about it. But thank you for your concern."
This!!! I believe that beauty is on the inside, not the outside. That said, obesity is a very dangerous condition and will almost certainly diminish the quality of your life, not to mention the years that you will lose. Your mom just wants what's best for you.
 

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I gotta agree with the above. You may be healthy now but it's hard on your heart and joints and will make you prone to developing diabetes. It isn't always the quantity that puts on the weight, a high carb diet will make it hard to not gain weight.
 

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while i totally get your side of the story.
if you are seriously obese (like not overweight but obese) than you are not healthy, you cannot say you are healthy. you will die early, you will have heart problems, cholesterol problems, joint problems ect. if youre slightly overweight than that is a different story
.its a shocking truth, but just like when people lecture me on smoking, i cannot say my lungs are healthy its the truth, i enjoy smoking, i know the dangers of smoking, and i for sure know that even though i can still run miles, and work out , my lungs are not healthy so to say that they are is kinda like denying the truth.
however that being said if you are truly happy with yourself deep down inside than it shouldnt matter.and youre mom is defiantly not being tactful int he way she is saying this to you.
if you do not want to loose weight dont. no one will make you loose weight but yourself.

attempt to just switch the subject or write her a letter and readit out loud or allow her to read it.
my mom has disability mental problems so getting through to her is very hard.
when my mom serious upsets me, i write a letter and give it to her , i turn off all my phones and communications with her, i allow her to read it, than normally with in a few hours she will message me saying shes sorry and that she understands where im coming from, and than she forgets and does it all over again in about a month LOL
 

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okay i watched the video. as much as she is well spoken, its already known diets dont work.

but its 80% nutrition and 20% fitness. so ill have to disagree with her politely even though i think she makes a good point , its invalid if she is speaking about actual nutrition not diets.
 

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As someone who lost about 35lbs and has kept it off and remained in shape for about two years now, I have to say that being even the slightest bit overweight does lead to quite a few health problems. You're young, aren't you? The problems may not exist at this time, but they will come after prolonged obesity or extra weight placed on your body.

To me, it was never a question of physical attractiveness, but one of health. If this is the stance she's taking with you (it's about the health aspect and not the appearance), then I suggest looking at it as other users have suggested. It's a position of concern being voiced with more than a fair amount of frustration. She gave birth to you and raised you and it is a very legitimate fear for her that you are not taking care of yourself and will wind up creating more problems in your life than necessary due to health problems. No one wants their child to end up with more health problems than them when they have the power to avoid it. \

That said, frustration and cruel words will not get her the result she wants and maybe you should remind her of that in the nicest way possible. Let her know that he berating you does nothing to motivate you to make any kind of changes that you yourself do not want to make and only serves to damage your relationship. If she's being blunt, I'd be very blunt back.
 

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I'm going to go against what a lot of people have said and say that it's perfectly possible to be overweight, evet obese, and to be healthy. Heck, it's even possible to be overweight and athletic.

Even if it wasn't the case, it absolutely would not justify putting down someone for their weight. There is a huge difference between saying "I'm worried for you and would like you to know it" and harassing someone everyday telling them "you are fat and you need to lose weight". Accepting someone the way they are and still caring about their health are not mutually exclusive.

Kayota, although in my case it doesn't have anything to do with my weight, I too repeatedly get comments from my mum about my appearance and they affect me a lot, in a bad way, so I feel for you.

If you don't know it yet, you could read through this very interesting blog http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/ and perhaps even show it to your mum.
 
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