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I've been crying all day ... and still am. She's been sick for a while now. Within the past month her health really was kinda like a roller coaster. Also, in the past month, she started to live in the past. So Grandma wasn't completely "Grandma" any more. For the past several months every time she would start to go downhill and the doctors said she wouldn't be around much longer, she would bounce right back.

My Aunt called me last night to tell me that Grandma had slipped unconscious (or at least unresponsive) again. She did tell me that the doctors didn't know how much longer she had. I guess it hit hard because, this time when the doctors said that, it came true. I didn't find out about her passing away till this morning at 9 am. I cry because of the pain in my heart and because I love and miss Grandma so much. But I cry even harder when I hear my Aunt or my Mom crying.

Pretty much my entire life, I only got to see Grandma once a year while on vacation but we were still very close. So this hurts so much, that I didn't get to see her too often and now I'll never see her again. What also hurts, she was the last of my Grandparents. For some reason, this hurts me so very much.

She was 87 years old and lived a good life, filled with so many smiles. I'll still talk to her, as I do with any dear one who has passed. No idea if they can hear me, lol, but it makes me feel better.


Here's a poem I wrote for her today, along with a picture of her.


I hate to say goodbye Grandmother.
I'll always remember the smiles we shared with each other.
"Try not to cry", you would tell me.
But these tears, the memories they now weave.
But don't worry, Grandma, I'll always smile.
For the joy, love, and laughter we shared went on for miles.
In God's arms you'll now stay.
Within my heart you'll be kept in each and every day.

I love you Grandma.
~In loving memory~

 

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Oh I am sorry to hear that :(
I know nothing right now can make you feel better, but time heals all wounds. Shes happy now and is certainly "Grandma" again. Keep talking to her, shes listening :)
 

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I'm sorry. She looks like such a joyful person in the picture posted. The best tribute you can give to your Grandma is to live your life well.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling as I was feeling it only a few months ago. My grandmother died as well, she really wasn't sick that much, but all of a sudden she just stop breathing. It is hard to talk about even now as it is still a shock. She was my last grandparent.

I know it hurts now, but your grandmother would want you to move on, grieving is apart of life, remember the good times you had and that will get you through the hard days.
 

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Oh, I am sorry to hear of your loss. She looks like she was a wonderful, light filled person. Keep talking to her, of course she can hear you! Take solace in knowing that you will see her again someday.
 

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I'm sorry you are bearing this, but, is it me, or do all grandmas look alike (beautiful). Your grandma is about the same age as one of mine and they could be twins. She's not from Portugal too, is she?
 

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My true and deepest condolences. Just because this is a natural part of life doesn't make it any easier when the time actual happens. Take all the time you need to grieve her and do what you need to honor her. I think talking to her is a great idea. I believe they can hear us, but it's also about you and keeping a connection that is important to you. She looked like she was a lively woman that beams love and happiness so I can see why she was awesome.

I understand what you mean about having the last grandparent die. My grandfather went 5 weeks ago and it made me upset that was all there was. Thing is, he wasn't even my real grandfather, he's my stepdads father who took me in as his own and the only grandparent I ever known. I'm starting to realize that it's a celebration and not an end. He had a life to 93 and I had him as a grandpa. I was the lucky one he grew to love and I will celebrate and hold that gift all my life.

I hope all our grandparents are all chatting somewhere on a cloud, doing what old people do, with all their silly and cute old grandparent quirks. I can see mine now, trying to share oranges and apples with everyone and growing everyone vegetables.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my Mother a year ago. Talking to your Grandmother is wonderful. I do the same thing for my Mom. I think they can hear us. It takes time and I find that celebrating the good memories will help you through eventually.
It is a wonderful poem you wrote for her. Your Grandmother and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
 

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im so sorry for your loss.

i was really close to my nan too, i cant say it gets easier, but it doesnt get any harder, if that makes sense.
she would want you to carry on, be happy, and remember her on happy occasions.
 

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I am very sorry to read this news. I know how you are feeling- both my grandma's died last year 2 months apart from eachother. Both losses were such blows to myself and our family.
I can say that it does get easier with time and the tears are shed less and less. As time has went by I have realized they are never truly gone- as my grandmothers live on through myself and my sister and brother. We each learned many lessons from them and even today when I cook I use recipes my Mamma taught me.
I talk to my Grandmas often and am certain that they do hear me. Take care of yourself during this time and let yourself grieve the way you need to. Everyone is different and it is a mistake to not do what you feel you need to do. Your poem above is a lovely tribute and your grandma looks like she was a very lovely person!
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my Mother a year ago. Talking to your Grandmother is wonderful. I do the same thing for my Mom. I think they can hear us. It takes time and I find that celebrating the good memories will help you through eventually.
It is a wonderful poem you wrote for her. Your Grandmother and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
I can't even imagine loosing my Mom. So I can only imagine what my Mom is going through. :(

I'm sorry you are bearing this, but, is it me, or do all grandmas look alike (beautiful). Your grandma is about the same age as one of mine and they could be twins. She's not from Portugal too, is she?
In bold: Love that. :) And, lol, nope. Grandma, as long as since my Mom was born, is from upstate NY. Being a military brat, I call upstate NY and PA "home" as that's where my parents and grandparents are from. I think before NY, Grandma ... or Great Grandma originally moved to NY from Az, which is where I was born - so it all works, lol.

She looks like she was a wonderful, light filled person.
I'm so sorry. She looks like someone I would have like to have known.
She looked like she was a lively woman that beams love and happiness so I can see why she was awesome.
I hope all our grandparents are all chatting somewhere on a cloud, doing what old people do, with all their silly and cute old grandparent quirks. I can see mine now, trying to share oranges and apples with everyone and growing everyone vegetables.
She very much was that much of an awesome person. :)

im so sorry for your loss.

i was really close to my nan too, i cant say it gets easier, but it doesnt get any harder, if that makes sense.
she would want you to carry on, be happy, and remember her on happy occasions.
Yeah, that makes sense.


Sorry for everyone who have lost loved ones as well.

And I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words and thoughts and prayers. :) All that was said was very comforting.
 
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