My First Dog

All dogs will drool some, generally when they are about to eat a meal or treat. The floppier the lips and jaw area, the more drool tends to drip. So dogs like Boxers, St Bernards and Newfies are more drooly than dogs like Poodles, most terriers. Labs are probably mid-range.

Puppies are like toddlers. They have higher energy than their adult counterparts of the same breed, shorter attention spans, need to use the potty more often and tend to explore the world with their mouths (chewing) and get themselves into trouble. They can be a blast and a hoot but they are more work than an adult dog who has some basic training.

My thought is that an adult standard poodle from a good breeder (research required!!!!) such as one that didn't quite fit the bill for showing or maybe not quite up to the task of hunting etc, maybe one that needs rehoming due to no fault of its own (owner passed away, deployed with military, went to nursing home, has financial issues etc-- many rehomes have nothing to do with the dog) maybe 2-4 years of age.
That will get you a full grown dog with a known temperament, able to participate in exercise but able to be alone at home without destroying it.

With proper booties and jacket and an indoor home, most any breed can handle winter even in the upper Midwest.

You've already received some great suggestions!

Newfoundlands are horrible droolers, you probably wouldn't want one if you don't like drool! Neither poodles or labs are overly drooly unless you're holding something delicious.

An adult dog will be easier to handle than a puppy. Puppies are coming to you completely untrained and without basic manners. That means you will have to train things such as leash manners, potty training, not jumping up on people, not play biting, and all of the other things! An adult dog likely has some manners and is not nearly as crazy as a puppy! Adults can still have behavioral issues, don't get me wrong, but they usually have more experience living with humans than puppies do!

All of those dogs can do quite well in midwestern climates. You should still monitor them closely in the -30 temps and -50 windchill, though! It's usually their feet that succumb first to the cold, so investing in a set of dog booties can help them last longer for outdoor exercise. I live in North Dakota and own an Aussie/Collie mix with a thick wintertime coat, and usually when the temps fall into the "incredibly frigid" range, he's not too happy to be outside very long.

I have and love Rottweilers but I wouldn't recommend one to someone with the OP's list of wishes. They're a breed with a high risk of orthopedic problems (yes, even from good breeders and even with parents and grandparents that have had all their health clearances). Some are calm, but many are high energy and have high prey drive that would make them iffy with a cat. Not all love water. None of mine have. They aren't automatically protective. Again, none of mine have been. They love any and all people and I'm sure would follow a burglar around wiggling with joy.

I'm less sure they all would ignore a physical attack on me, but I wouldn't want to stake my life on the reaction of any of them. Because of the breed's reputation, they do intimidate non-dog people, but the Akitas I had years ago did that better because they were standoffish. Not that an Akita would suit the OP either. I don't know many other breeds well enough to make a recommendation, but I do think that's an optimistic wish list.