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We got a 2 year old female Daschound from the shelter a couple of months ago. She has come a long way since we got her. She has had 2 litters of pups already and we took her in a couple of weeks ago to get fixed. She had severe separation anixety when we got her, but like I said...much better. She's like a new dog since we brought her home from the shelter.

The problem that I have is my son. He is 21 and is off at college. Whenever he comes home for a weekend, Bella (my doggy) does a low growl and then will pee right there on the floor (like a scared pee). If he tries to pet her or anything, she pees and then runs away. He is very upset over this because he really wants to get along with our dog.

The only thing I can think of is that maybe she was abused by a young male. Other people she is fine with. However he and his friends can't get near her.
What steps can we take to get Bella use to being around my son so she can get over this?
 

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Mabel was the same way when we brought her home from the shelter. She'd "submissive pee" if I got within 5 feet of her or looked directly at her. She got over it in a few weeks of me feeding her, giving her treats, etc., but I had the advantage of being there pretty consistently while your son is an occassional visitor.

There are lots of good resources on the web for acclimating a man-fearing dog to men. Most involved desensitization techniques such as giving your dog treats while your son is in the room. Have him leave the room and you immediately stop the treats. Have him return (as little as one minute later) and the treats begin again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Your dog begins to associate your son with treats.

That's usually just the beginning. Depending on the dog, there are probably two to four more stages. For example, next step might be for your son to roll the treat to your dog from five feet away (he still maintains his distance, so the dog doesn't get nervous) but the dog will make the connection. After a bunch of repetitions he moves to four feet, then two, etc.

The important thing (and the hardest for all of us to do) is to have patience and not go any faster than the dog is comfortable. Whenever your dog exhibits a fear-behavior, you've gone to fast and need to back up a couple of steps and start over.

Some better explanations at:
http://mendocinohumane.org/html/fear.html
http://www.clickertrainusa.com/dcc.htm
http://www.goldstardogtraining.org/fearful.pdf
were just a few from this google search:
http://www.google.com/search?q=dog+training+desensitization+men&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
 

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Your son should approach the dog slowly with a few treats in hand. He can and should also throw treats to her. As she is eating the treat throw another to her but not as close as the other one. Do this several times with the treats being thrown closer and closer to him. If the dog gets close enough have him hold a treat out in his hand and extend his hand to the dog.

The best way to do this is if your son was siting on the floor this way he is closer to her level. It may take severl times to do this but soon enough the dog will see your son in a positive way.
 

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How about having him feed her?
Have him take her bowl of food to the living room and sit on the couch, a handful at a time put a bit of her food on the floor for her to eat. It draws out the feedin time so he'll be with her longer, he becomes associated with good things (food), and his scent is on her food to reinforce him in a postive role. It won't be something that works overnight but doing this every weekend, twice a day, will help a lot!
 

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This sounds like genuine fear aggression. I'd second the suggestions about having him feed her, little bits of chicken or cheese - not kibble. Make the treats he gives her something REALLY special. Another thing, maybe it would be better to crate her when he first arrives, so she doesn't feel overwhelmed with his presence? Then open the crate door but don't ask her to come out. If your son can throw in a treat several feet away from her into the crate or just in her direction, that would probably make her feel safer than him going up to her to offer the treat at first.
 

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my suggestion would be to have your son and any of his friends that come over regularly totally ignore her when they come in but casually drop treats for her while greeting all the people.....when going thru the house keep ignoring her but continue w/ the treats.....when she approaches him to "check him out" don't acknowledge her but hold a treat in the tips of his fingers for her to take....he should never make eye contact w/ her or reach to touch her until she is ready (and she will let you/him know when that is)....let her begin to realize that he's not a threat and that he won't hurt her....this can take anywhere from a few days to a few mo but be patient, she will come around....also, have him feed her her meals, like suggested above....
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thank you all for your replies. I'm going to give it a try. He has tried to give her a treat before, but she won't get close enough to let him give it to her...so I will go with the rolling or throwing it. Bella won't even come into the same room as my son.
He isn't going to push her nor have we done that. We figured she would come around when she was ready. But the next time he comes over, I'll give him a bag of treats to "give" to her.
 

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turkey dogs, chicken, string cheese....these all make really good treats to use.....something that she wouldn't normally get from you....cooked and diced beef liver works great, too....
 
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