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I need ideas. This has never been an area where I've had trouble until recently and I just find myself out of a social loop and feeling a bit lonely.

I graduated late and moved to another state and most my friends moved all over the country as well. I had a GREAT group of friends I hung out with all the time in high school and a GREAT group of friends in college too. I miss it. I keep up with them on facebook but it's not really the same.

Nowadays I have awesome family I love to see, especially my nieces. I have a great group of co-workers I like hanging out with in the work week. But other than one person on the floor I am the only one that is single and I'm the youngest by quite a bit. so while it's fun to hang out with them, they go home to their husbands and wives and kids and I go home to be alone. They can't really come just hang out after work because they're in a totally different point in their lives than I am. I want to find people that are my age and single that would be able to hang out.

I've tried to go to a couple happy hours and while I have a good time and meet some fun people it's just I find a lot of them are still into the college aged drinking and partying scene and I'm just not into that anymore. I still will go once a month but I really want to find people that want to do more than that. I found an old friend of mine on facebook so I messaged her to see if she'd want to meet up. She's in town and has stayed in town since highschool. I know it could be weird but it's worth a shot. My closest friends that lived here all moved off. My ex BF is in town but I really don't think I want to contact him for various reasons.

In school I met people through class and school clubs and now I'm having a hard time finding out how to meet people now that there's not a school or school clubs to go to.

I'm thinking of trying to get involved in a church singles group to meet people. I'm just not sure how to meet a variety of people and am afraid it could be too religion oriented. I tried the art workshops here and enjoyed them but most the people attending them were 50+ year old women so that's not very helpful. I know PLENTY of people that are a lot older than me.
 

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Are there any clubs in your city? I know when I was young, and lived in Atlanta, the ski club was a great place to meet people, and there was always something to do -- like ski, in the winter.

Maybe you could start a meetup group around something you enjoy doing. I think having something to do makes the friendships come more naturally, especially when people have a common interest.

How about sailing? Running? Volunteering? Habitat for Humanity? Politics? Environmental Issues? Hiking? Softball? Ice Hockey? Movies? Mensa? Music? Do you play an instrument? Start a band! Does your city have parades? Get involved in organizing one. How about community theater? Paint scenery if you don't want to act. If you live in a large enough city, there must be a group for each of those activities -- or you could start one.

My mother would tell you to join a church that has an active and large group of single people. I never tried that approach, and frankly, neither has she.

I think you have to consider what you really like to *do* and then find like-minded people. That way, should you marry one of them, you'll have something in common. If you are a physically active person, do physically active things with other people. If you are a sedentary person -- movies, watching baseball games, watching other people do things ... find a group (or start one) of people who like that.

Stay away from knitting groups and book groups ... and any dog-related groups that contain mostly women ... you want a well-balanced group of mostly single young people. If you don't want to meet older people, the key is not to do things that people with bad backs and sore knees can do.
 

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Lots of great dog stuff going on around here (unless you're straight and looking for dates. Mostly female but many age varieties (you probably don't want to know me since I am way more than 50)
 

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College club get togethers and functions? My hubbie had already graduated but came just because - and I was still in college. As long as you don't need to be technically some colleges have wide age ranges so the young and old and everywhere in between are at the same function.
 

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I hear you, Laurelin. I'm in a very similar boat. Agility is great for making friends, but there's a definite gender bias and almost everyone is older. Knitting is great, too, but again with the gender bias. I'll keep an eye on the thread for other ideas.
 

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Look for interest groups on meetup .com. Before even going, you can browse what type of people are in each group and if you're seeing people your parents are gonna hang with then at least you dont have that awkward night of showing up to a potluck with geriatrics looking to talk about their dead husbands. LOL

Some of the groups I found on there were cool. Some were so-so. It did give me the fuel to KEEP ON TRYING. So each hobby and interest I have I tried to find a place to meet like minded people. That's really what will make you successful is to keep on going and dont take it personally if it didn't fit as nothing is wrong with you. I got a bit upset and thought I must be a loser because I didn't have friends. Highschool and college is different. There is the glue of school so there's a convenience and a benefit to having friends there.

I didn't have friends in Vegas either and was getting really lonely. My answer was stumbling onto Yelp. It is a review website but it's also a community with events going on. There's a calendar full of stuff to do, some hosted by Yelp and their community manager, some are hosted informal things by users. It's really fun once you have a few reviews in your belt and can get Elite status that is saved for quality contributors. We are spoiled as Elite with monthly parties with all kinds of free food, open bar, swag, etc. We are also just active with a variety of things to do. Someone is hosting a photowalk, some people have a book club, we've done hikes, gone to concerts together, went to arts events, gone to bars, clubs, happy hour, etc so it's not just food related. I like a lot of the regular people but also have friends I do things with outside of the community with. Most people are professionals 21-mid 30's, variety of interests and backgrounds and personalities. I mean I found my best friend and I couldnt imagine not knowing her now. We are the same person, it's kinda scary how we finish each others sentences or was thinking the same and we even sometimes wear clothes that are oddly similar at the same time. She's Nov. 11th and I'm the 12th. Haha. As a community, people are celebrating our "unbirthday" this week so it's a little family.

Just keep on trying new things and I think something will pop up.
 

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I agree with meetup.com being a good way to find like-minded people. I belong to a dog group on there that is pretty varied as far as ages, though it is mostly women or couples. But, there are a few single guys in it. Most of the people are probably mid-20s to early-40s. Mostly, we walk our dogs at local parks, but we've also had dog events at people's houses and have gone out for dinner without the dogs.

And I always hear commercials for things like livingsocial.com though I've never checked that out myself. It sounds interesting.

I've also had friends who belonged to a place called Philadelphia Sport and Social Club, though that's mostly about playing team sports. They really enjoyed it and met lots of people. Maybe there's something like that in your town.

But mostly I generally meet people the old-fashioned way, at the bar. =P I play bar trivia weekly and have gotten to know quite a few people that way.
 

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Meetup.com "thirded" - I'm in a hiking group that's a lot of fun and has a wide mix of ages and both men and women (and a few dog members:) )

If you actually are religious, there are some very lively and young church groups, you just gotta check it out and see what yours is like.

Volunteer! Habitat for Humanity for example is a fun way to help the community and meet a range of people plus learn some super useful skills. Community events often need volunteers too for things like parades, road races etc.

Play a sport- join an adult league for kickball, volleyball, join a running group, play pool

Take a class- try a language class like Spanish in the evenings or an extension class at the CC for a skill you've always wanted to learn.

And actually, even craigslist. Yeah, I know its rep, but there is a community section and a platonic section. I've met people (safely, in public etc) for hiking, shooting range trips and such.
 

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A lot of churches do community events that aren't really religious in nature. For example, my church does a monthly silent film screening with live musical accompaniment. There's a potluck bbq beforehand, a short before the film, and then the film itself. There's no religious overtone or discussion and we've been doing it long enough so that there aren't just church members in the audience; we're starting to bring in members of the surrounding community, too. At any rate, what I'm saying is that churches can be great places to meet people even if you aren't especially religious. Or you could do a little research into a religion that actually interests you and legitimately join a congregation.

Meetup.com for sure. Facebook has local activity groups, too. And Reddit. I have found that establishing a routine at a particular place helps make connections, too. I started going dancing at the same club every Friday night a few years ago. At first I felt awkward because I was alone. Now, all the people in that club are my friends. Not necessarily friends off the dance floor mind you, but definitely my friends within the confines of the club, which is okay with me. If you keep going to the same place, you're eventually going to run into people you're interesting in getting to know better. Obviously, pick a place and an activity you actually enjoy so that you're having a good time while you're waiting to meet people.
 

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Bars are an interesting place to go meet people. I've also found that volunteer work is also a great way to meet like minded people. With that said the only problem with bars is you have just a good of chance of meeting idiots as you do winners which is why choosing the right one is important! Nothing like a clingy redneck to ruin your night.
 

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There is a singles volunteering group here, I found it on yahoo years ago. You'd join, give them your basic info, and they'd set up groups of 12 or so (mixed evenly) to go help at a shelter then meet for dinner, or do other types of events. You could also join a church if there's one that appeals to you that is nearby, if it's something that you're interested in. I know my cousin goes to a big church and she said she hardly knows the members! But she gets to know more people through her darts club. Even just taking some classes gets you out there and you can just say 'I'm new in town and don't know many people' and that sometimes opens doors.

I wouldn't do the bar scene, unless you're looking for people to go drinking with.
 

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I agree that finding organizations that do things that you like to do will get you out and about and prone to meeting like minded people. You can filter through them for age and singleness. IE the folks that I used to kayak white water rivers with were predominantly young 20 something single men. My dog agility class is predominatly middle aged married women. I personally avoid the church and the bar scene, but to each their own. I met my husband through his mom (she is a fellow artist) and I kept running into him at the local indoor pool, the library, movie rental store and hiking trails.
 

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I'm thinking of trying to get involved in a church singles group to meet people. I'm just not sure how to meet a variety of people and am afraid it could be too religion oriented.
This is a good option if you are at all religion tolerant. Different churches have their own cultures and some are very hard sell while others are much less so. Even within a particular denomination the head God-guy/gal tends to set the tone for the congregation. If the church's social events are primarily social, then it might be worth a shot.

Bars tend to suck as a place to meet people.
 

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No help for you Laur sorry,

I do wonder tho, most of the time when I see Singles groups advertised it's with the assumption you want to meet someone for a romantic relationship or a "hook up". Are there any singles groups that are simply single people wanting to stay "single" but looking for friendships?
 

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Clubs and groups could be a good way, yeah. Or happy hours at bars. Or classes of whatever you like.

Don't necessarily look for people your age and with the same interests. I think it's the most valuable lesson I've learned living in an extremely remote area. My two best friends right now? One is a single mother, 10 years younger than I am (I would have moved here one year earlier and she would have been my student hah) and one is 15 years older than I am, mother of three teenage boys and with totally different experiences than mine. I'd say I not only appreciate their company, but I'm also learning a lot from their differences. We never have the same vision of things and that's what makes things interesting.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
No help for you Laur sorry,

I do wonder tho, most of the time when I see Singles groups advertised it's with the assumption you want to meet someone for a romantic relationship or a "hook up". Are there any singles groups that are simply single people wanting to stay "single" but looking for friendships?
I dunno but I wouldn't mind a hook up. :p

I'm trying to start being busy. This weekend I'm going to 4 social events so we'll see what comes of it. Just feeling kind of lonely all by myself lately (it's never been a problem before though)
 

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It does seem like the singles groups tend to be aimed towards hookups. However, Match.com and okcupid are the sites for hookups- clear understandable expectations.

There are all kinds of meetup groups but I find that they tend to attract people obsessed with the theme. The less obsessed don't come as often and thus it's hard to find them. If you're way into hiking, kayaking etc that's probably the way to go.

I tend to be a very social person. I talk to the people around me where ever I go and that has led to some great long lasting friendships. If you can work on chatting up the person next to you, you'd be surprised what happens. For instance, talking to the person behind me at the dry cleaners led to a friendship with the Senior VP of Marketing in the US for South African Airlines and a free upgrade from coach to 1st class on my trip down there (well worth it for the 17 hour flight).

Either way- you'll probably have to slug through a few things before you find what works for you.
 
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