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Discussion Starter #1
Kola has not seen a behaviorist to date for her issues.

However right now I'm about 70% certian her issues are more male oriented than just out right fear.
When she was about 6 months old some boys were throwing fire crackers at her. Most males I've met have scared Kola one way or another, all of her life.

When my brother gets mad at the dogs, whether I'm home or not, he kicks them. About three weeks ago when I was bringing Kola in after her morning potty break she got loose and I had to get her back before I was late to catch the bus. She sat in the back seat of the truck after we caught her. I gave my brother specific instructions to get her home right away.

So after he stopped at a friends she jumped in the front seat. When he was driving home she got under his legs and he kicked her.

Before this we were at the vet's office. She was nervous and scared. The vets (both male) tried to walk with her away from me, and she slipped her collar. One of those male vets tried to grab her and he scared her half to death. Then one of those male vets put a muzzle on her, stressing her further.

Christmas day my boss stopped by to give my dad and I our Christmas bonus's and Christmas gifts. She barked/growled at him the whole time he was at the house.

At the vet's office yesterday once he tried to make physical contact with her she growled.

I was getting a soda the other day and a guy pulled up. She growled at him the whole time he was getting his soda.

Kola flat out refuses to play with my dad. If he throws the ball, she won't get if. If he has her tug duck, she won't play tug.

And yet three weeks ago I had a friend over Kola has never met. There were no issues.
Another friend has been around quite a bit but there are toddlers who are better with dogs. There are never issues..
My mom's friend was here and Kola was all cuddly with her...

I know the whole thing started with my brother and it ticks me off.
He's selling his 1990 Firebird soon for $1700 OBO.
I think I should take Kola to a behaviorist and make him fork out the cash to pay the behaviorist.
 

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Have you spoken to him about kicking the dog? I assume you have, but, when you have spoken to him (if you have), what is his response?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Never good.
Usually there is a lot of cussing and complaining about how dogs are worthless and I shouldn't care about it if he kicks them or not.
 

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What you might want to try is to have men including your brother walk by Kola when outside and throw small pieces of chicken on the ground as they walk by.

That way she will see men as a good thing. It will take time but it should work.
 

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I agree with lolas dad...the only way I can think of to help your pup w/this is to have her associate men w/treats and praise....but it would be an up hill battle w/someone like your brother in your home....how old is your brother?....can your parents talk to him about his behavior towards the dog?
 

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What you might want to try is to have men including your brother walk by Kola when outside and throw small pieces of chicken on the ground as they walk by.

That way she will see men as a good thing. It will take time but it should work.
I like this idea, but can't see it working if the brother is only going to keep kicking the dog when he's annoyed with Kola. He doesn't see them as anything to care about from what the OP says and I can't see him changing his actions here.

I think this is an excellent idea if Kola didn't have a male abuser.
 

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Is your brother old enough to be out on his own? Maybe you can talk to your parents about kicking him to the curb- so to speak. If you doesn't respect pets, does he respect people?
 

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Just for the record (and I'm not refuting that she's had abusive experiences with men)..this is strictly for other readers (new readers) who may not realize. I have a dog who is afraid of men, especially if they are in the house. She barks and growls until they sit down. She doesn't like tall men to look at her and she it noticeably uncomfortable with them, until she establishes trust with them.

She has NEVER been verbally or physically abused by anyone (I've had her her whole life)...so sometimes its strictly inherent of the dog..and not necessarily that she's been terribly abused.

I'm sorry your brother doesn't treat Twinney with respect and doesn't respect your guidelines as to how she should be treated. I'd be kicking him.
 

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I've come to the conclusion that dogs (and other animals) are naturally wary of males, because in nearly all species the males are the bigger and more violent of the species.

Of course, with training and experience almost any dog can learn to like males more (He gives me treats, He runs with me, He ....) but I think the "default" position is to be wary of males.

Sorry you and your dog are having this experience.
 

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I've come to the conclusion that dogs (and other animals) are naturally wary of males, because in nearly all species the males are the bigger and more violent of the species.

Of course, with training and experience almost any dog can learn to like males more (He gives me treats, He runs with me, He ....) but I think the "default" position is to be wary of males.

Sorry you and your dog are having this experience.
I can't say that I agree (which is ok :)) I have 2 male dogs and both of them have no issues at all with male humans. Be they ones they live with or ones they come across at the park, on walks, etc.

I've never run into this issue in general with my male dogs.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I like this idea, but can't see it working if the brother is only going to keep kicking the dog when he's annoyed with Kola. He doesn't see them as anything to care about from what the OP says and I can't see him changing his actions here.

I think this is an excellent idea if Kola didn't have a male abuser.
Sometimes he does, but not often. I would like to try somethink like what was mentioned..

Is your brother old enough to be out on his own? Maybe you can talk to your parents about kicking him to the curb- so to speak. If you doesn't respect pets, does he respect people?
He'll be 17 in April, but everyday he gets more and more dependent on my parents. He dropped out of school last year (in the 8th grade), and walked off his job. My parents used to have him doing work around around the house, but he'd do something like 2 loads of laundry and ask for $20.
He doesn't really respect anyone but friends, and his friends are people who nobody else respects.

I'm sorry your brother doesn't treat Twinney with respect and doesn't respect your guidelines as to how she should be treated. I'd be kicking him.
I would be, but my good kicking leg has a spained ankle. :(:p

I agree that with most animals where the male is bigger/stronger than the females, they might be more wary, not all the time though.

My boss (who will be watching Kola until I can walk normally again) spoke to a buddy. The guy who I wanted to bring Kola to (trainer, behaviorist) has apparently been giving my boss's buddy business because he screws them up. Boss's buddy said the same thing I figured, treats, males, and make my brother back off. Having her around my boss should help, but if it doesn't she's going up to the boss's buddy.
 

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What you need is someone a lot bigger than your brother to put a boot up his ass a few times and see how he likes it . Sounds like he's a prick .
 

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amen red.

i, myself, have no kids, however i do have nephews and nieces, and my sisters know my stance on animals. if any of their kids get out of line, i'll show up and have a little talk with them.
if they're "man" enough to kick a dog, then they're man enough to kick me.

and i let them know that i kick a helluva lot harder than they do. i then ask them if they understand why we're talking, and what the outcome of the talk that i want, and what they're taking with them.

sounds like your brother doesn't have a positive role model at home. do you have any uncles that you guys like? maybe you could talk to them. family sticks together more than you think.

best of luck
 

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A behaviorist is going to do diddly squat if your brother continues kicking the dog. I know how frustrating it can be when a family member won't listen. Thankfully my father has never been physical with my dog and things are now on a bit of an upswing. But there's only so much YOU can do without the other person stepping in or at best changing some of their habits.

I hope you work something out, sadly dogs seem to always pay for the stupidity of humans.
 

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If it were my brother kicking my dog I would have his A&& arrested for cruelty to animals. Sounds like to me your brother needs a good swift scare with law enforcement or a judge. Some people do not get their act together until this takes place. Then there are some that never do and they are the ones in jail today.

I know a person who was similar to your brother. Not that he was abusive to animals but was lazy. Did not want to work after he graduated high school. Had everything done for him like laundry. One day he stole some stuff sold it to a friend. He later was questioned by the police. When they got him in the interrogation room he was so scared he sung like a canary. The outcome was that he had to pay restitution and if he did not he would be sent to jail.

He is working now and has been for years but because he has a record from 20 years ago it has prevented him from getting some decent jobs that could have been a lucrative career.

If I were a judge and your brother was to come before me I would have him do community service at an animal shelter and have him go out with the SPCA on cases where animal are abused so he can learn first hand how wrong it is. If he did not learn a lesson from it then the next step would be to throw him in jail where he can become bubba's bitch.
 

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Discussion Starter #17 (Edited)
What you need is someone a lot bigger than your brother to put a boot up his ass a few times and see how he likes it . Sounds like he's a prick .
It would be hard to find. My brother is 250 and six something. (He needs a diet). I know of 2 people bigger than him. One of his friends and my other brother

He's actually been questioned for 6 robberies but the police around here are slow about getting to anything. Animal cruelty wouldn't phase these guys much.

Kola will be leaving in a few hours, she won't be coming home until my ankle can be walked on better... She'll have follow up visits at the duck farm every weekend.
I warned my brother hurting the dog means a baseball bat to him.
 

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what's true for humans, falls true for dogs as well.


"it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog"

just because you have a big brother doesn't mean a whole lot.
 

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Twinney- I know you love Kola, but I think you might want to consider rehoming her if your brother is going to continue being in the household. If your parents aren't willing to put a stop to his abuse of Kola, and won't kick your brother out, you are risking her health, living with him.

Personally, I'd be calling the police on him. I'd also be following him when he's out, to catch him burglarizing a property, and searching his room for stolen property, and then turn his ass in to the police. He sounds like he needs to spend some time behind bars, being someone's beeyatch, and maybe he'll get a change in attitude.
 

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I think the biggest thing to be worried about - what happens if she corrects him back?

Fearful dogs try their best to flight, but WILL still fight if cornered. What happens if one day he kicks her, and she can't get away. What is she 'kicks' back with a bite? It would be fair, but your brother wouldn't see it that way.

Would you then get a chance to keep her? And now that she's a PBT, would you have a chance to re-home her? We all know how many 'sweet' pitties there are out there looking for homes, most of which needs experienced home, and most experienced homes don't have room.

What will you do with her then?
Maybe re-homing her now would be the best way to go, and the fairest to her. At least you'd have lots of time to find the perfect home, rather than her going to animal control because you can't find anyone to take her, and your brother has your parents convinced it's just not safe.

Meghan
 
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