Puppy Forum and Dog Forums banner

ISO: Advice on adopting after recent losses

5051 Views 62 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  PatriciafromCO
So, I realize this is an intensely personal question and only my husband and myself can make the best decision we can for us, but I could really use some advice or stories or anything helpful regarding adopting a new dog after yours dies.

Sebastian, the dog my husband and I adopted when we first moved in together, died on January 3rd, just a few months after my family dog from childhood died as well. Obviously, it's been a lot of loss in a short period of time. I have not lived in a house without a dog since I was 13 and I will be 30 next year. I hate being in a house without a dog even more than I thought I would (and it is a "house" without a dog, not a "home"). I hate it so much. I am so lonely without both of them. Further, I have serious and chronic health problems of my own... neither Bailey nor Sebastian were service animals, but I did not realize how much my health relied on them until they were gone. Or maybe the stress of their passing has thrown my system out of whack, which is also entirely possible.

Basically, I feel like I'm ready to start looking for our next family member. The idea that a new dog could in any way replace Bailey or Sebastian is absolutely unthinkable to me, so believe me that is not what this is. Or, that's certainly not what we want it to be, but I am also well aware that my husband and I are still very early in the grieving process for Sebastian and that we need to be cautious in our decision making. I think we are, though. We are keeping the lines of communication open with each other and when we browsed on Petfinder we sent an enquiry about ONE dog that looked like he'd fit our lives... not 100 questions about 100 animals that who knows if they'd work for us.

Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for stories about when you adopted after losing another pet. Did you do so quickly? Did it take years? Have you reached your last dog? I would also be extremely curious to hear from those who have fallen in love with specific breeds. Sebastian was Pyr mix and we are hoping for another mix or full bred Pyr, but want to be congnisant about not comparing him to Sebastian. At the same time, we know lots of people who will get the same breed over and over again. Bailey was my first dog from childhood and Sebastian was my first dog I adopted myself as an adult so this is the "first second dog" for everyone and we are all feeling a bit lost about it.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, while recognizing (again) that no one else can make this decision for us.

Thanks in advance.
See less See more
1 - 9 of 63 Posts
First I'm sorry for your loss :(

Second, obviously you're the only one who knows when you will be ready, but I couldn't imagine not having a pet, but in my case, every time one of our pets died, we had at least another one left... so I can't really remember never having a pet (we got another kitten both times when one of my childhood cats died, and I got a kitten as soon as I got my own apartment - she's almost 18 now and has moved 4 times with me).

I see all pets differently though - even dogs of the same breed will not be the same. It doesn't mean that you won't love them any less (even when they are a pain in the ass!). About breed decision.. two of mine are mutts, I didn't have a clue what I was getting expect cute fluffy puppies. The last one is a Newfoundland because I've loved them since I was a kid - I realized after that he's not a very well bred one, but his temperament is nicer than some well bred newfs I've met... so you never really know. I can't tell you what my next dog will be - we do have two old pets now, but we'll still have the two young dogs when they're gone, so it will be a few years at least before I get another one. I'm thinking of getting a well bred Newf pup this time, but the process has been extremely frustrating every time I've tried, and I might just end up with another mutt puppy anyway... who knows. But I will probably always have at least two dogs (I'm done with cats because I'm just too allergic to them sadly).

Good luck.
See less See more
Keep us posted, definitely.

I do agree with what was said above too... heck I really can't have another dog right now but I keep seeing so many dogs that need homes and it's killing me. I KNOW that I'll just end up rescuing a dog again at some point.
I think it depends on the type of fence too. But it can be an issue, I'm not going to lie - a lot of Pyrs are jumpers, and they are big dogs. Really... I'd be honest with the rescue. In the end you don't want a dog that will jump up your fence either.
Now I'm curious about the cost! We paid $300 for our rescues. But I would assume that two dogs would cost as much as two adoptions.. bonded pair or not. Still, more than $800 for two harder to place adults would make me pause. But I don't see why they would charge more than double the adoption fee of the other dogs either (were the other adoption fees listed high?).

For what it's worth, I did find a reputable rescue here that asks $900 per dog. I recognize that they make sure to match each dog with their perfect family, but there's just no way I would ever pay as much for a rescue.

Anyway, keep us posted.
I am curious Francl, what rescue charges $900 per dog?!

In my shelter (privately funded, about 1300 animals a year), the cost is $100 for an adult dog (includes: altered, chipped, UTD, dewormed, leash+tag+collar, bag of food, any behavior info and handouts they could possibly want). $200 for a puppy. $250 for "ambassador pets" (ex. purebred 2 yo golden retriever with no behavior challenges), which does mean we charge more for highly desirable animals so that their adoption fee 'makes up for' the money we lose on most adoptions. I can think of maybe two ambassador pets we had in all of 2018.

Dog who has been in the shelter for a while that is hard to adopt (ex. severe behavior challenges, in rare cases severe medical)... Sometimes the adoption fee is waived or the animal sponsored. Complimentary private lesson. Sometimes we even send a trainer out to help them get the dog settled in. Difficult dogs who must be placed together... The adoption fee of the second animal is waived. No home checks. No mandatory list of requirements (though specific dogs may have specific placement needs). Our return rate is not higher than the average for other shelters. In fact, it might be lower, not sure...

It just makes sense to make it EASIER for well matched homes to get animals OUT of the shelter, especially animals who are not easily adopted out.

I know this doesn't help your problem, but I'm just offering perspective from a different organization. Honestly, I feel like there are more poorly managed shelters and rescues than good ones...
A golden retriever rescue in PA. I was just giving an example though, I have no idea how much this rescue wants for the pair.
1 - 9 of 63 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.