ISO: Advice on adopting after recent losses

I told you my experience, but it won't hurt to repeat. When my Dobie/GSD died at 17yo, we adopted a Lab/GSD puppy within the next month. After he died at 16yo, we adopted a 1.5yo Lab/GSD. With all three dogs, as well as previous dogs, we did make comparisons to previous dogs, and did 'grieve' for about a year or less. And, it seemed to take about 3 months to build a 'bond' with the dog.

One of the 'conveniences' of a puppy is that we didn't have to untrain bad habits and fears. In contrast, with an adopted adult, we didn't have to potty train, and general training was much faster than with a puppy. Personally, I think a puppy is easier to deal with once you accept the messiness.

One reason that I like to adopt as soon as possible is because a dog fills a gap. He doesn't replace other dogs, b/c he fills the gap in a distinct way for each dog. Getting used to a dog helped us to speed through the grieving process. There was still grief but there was also a dog to support the grief. And, there was 'down time' to 'wallow' in the grief, especially when you have a 'puppy' licking you in the face.

I don't think it matters if you get a Pomeranian or a Pyrenees, you will still make comparisons. In my case, in 3 months to a year, the comparisons no longer mattered ... b/c we bonded to the current dog.

On the flip side, I unintentionally lost 5 pounds by walking the new dog. In the last 5 years of the older dog, he didn't walk so much as hobbled. The current dog walks with a loose leash, but he needs at least 2 miles a day as a baseline of exercise. I probably run him an additional mile or two, and I'm in better shape than I was 20 years ago.

So I recommend doing the needed research and not waiting ... except to get the dog that you want. I'd also suggest a healthy dog for now, and after a year of 'training' him, you might consider a second dog that needs a little more help, if you're still interested.

It sounds like you could go out and get some AKC Champion puppies for that price. If the ball is in your court, you might try to get hold of the head of the Rescue, and ask what happened, b/c you were under the impression that fees were XYZ (like you saw on the other dogs), that these might be a difficult case due to Sally's emotion issues, and that you were a unique match b/c of your experience with Pyrs etc. Would they pls break down the fees for you?

Then, audibly say "Oh my" or something similar, and remark that these are two big dogs that will require lots of personal care as well as expenses for food. Can you help us out on the fees?

If they won't budge or if they make a perfunctory effort, then very quickly Thank them, explain how those fees will eat up what you've budgeted for the first five years (or something reasonable like that). You have our contact information. If you are able accept fees more inline with the other rescues - XYZ (from above), then please contact us for further discussion. Thank you very much for your time and efforts. Goodbye.

Be very cordial, friendly, and polite, but after they give you the 'unreasonable' counteroffer, "walk away" by hanging up immediately after you say goodbye.

Note, this is not a bluff. They can make up their costs with other dogs. You aren't required to accept unreasonable pricing. So, if you are comfortable walking away, this is the time to show that you are serious. They will either return the call immediately, within one week, or not at all. For their next counteroffer, they may make another token effort, providing all kinds of reasons and costs. Note, that if those costs are reasonable, then you may not be able to afford to care for these dogs, if care is that expensive. And, you can tell them that.

If they will accept XYZ, then You are excited to take both dogs and ready with a "rehabilitation (?)" plan for Sally. Otherwise, if they have a second candidate who can take both dogs and can work with Sally, as well as afford these costs, now may be the time to call them. Please let us know. Thank you. Goodbye.

Note: This one is a bluff. If they really have a second candidate, they may go to that family.

But, if they don't counteroffer within a week, time to move on.

This is one negotiation option. Y'all will have to decide what fees are appropriate and how you want to negotiate with them. I imagine that most ppl don't negotiate and that the Rescue counts on that, and on ppl getting attached to the dogs, as well as not wanting to wait on an extended process.

It's nice to help out Rescues ... but Sally is 'damaged goods' and there is no reason for the Rescue to expect you to pay a premium for damaged goods, when you might be able to go to a breeder to get a puppy with a known background and history for a lower fee.

BTW, I have always adopted Rescues ... but I avoid unreasonable organizations.

Roller Coaster, much? ;-) Sounds like y'all've done everything prudent, and you have a little assurance that if Sally is too much, you have a safety net. .... Yeah, right! ;-) You know that once she gets tangled in your heartstrings, you'll never let go .... Been there, doing that! Although not the "double mint" way.

Anyway, back to serious. It'll take a couple of weeks or months for Sally to settle in to normal for her. Baylor sounds fine, but you might use Shae as a secondary name, with 'Sally' continuing as the primary, [one less thing for her to adapt to] until you feel that she has settled.

Note: I don't like the name Mikee, but he was so skittish, I didn't change it, plus he is very responsive to that name. On the other hand, just like everyone else, I have lots of different names for him, in private, depending on circumstances. In therapy, we use 'Mickey' or 'Mickey Mouse' [don't tell Disney!], and both he and the Seniors or the kids love that working name. Quoting a different comedian, he didn't 'care what you called him, as long as you remembered to call him for dinner!'