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I loved RonE's reply to a question in dog training so much, I wanted to give it it's own post for discussion without derailing the other post.

RonE:

If this was really a forum FOR dogs, instead of ABOUT them, we'd see posts like, "My human keeps throwing a ball and looking at me with some sort of expectations. What the heck does he want, anyway, and how do I make him stop? Ignoring him doesn't work. Would a shock collar help?"
I often wonder about the stories we hear here from the dog's point of view. I imagine Kabota had that exact reaction when I first tried to play fetch with him.

What question do you think your dog would ask about you?
 

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This is a great thread! :)

I firmly believe my dogs would ask " Why can't she understand that I am hungry and cannot go get something to snack on by myself? ... What is with that anyways?"

Food is their biggest concern around here. They are all food driven. Lol! :)
 

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"She keeps saying my name and giving me a treat! How can I assure this continues forever?"
 

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"She keeps saying my name and giving me a treat! How can I assure this continues forever?"
+1000!

"Sometimes, guys, I just feel like my human is using me. She always has treats on her; I can smell 'em! But she only hands them over if I do something. Like I'm her personal entertainment device. 'Go to your bed, HObbes. Hobbes, sit. Hobbes, down. Hobbes, play dead.' Why can't she just appreciate me for who I am? Sigh."
 

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Here's the problem: I got a whole box filled to the brim with toys. Whenever I feel playful I like picking out one of my toys and bringing it to my human, who will then respond to my initiation of play. But lately, the human doesn't respond to me anymore! I tried bringing more toys, but it didn't work. Then I tried bringing even more toys, but that didn't work either. My whole box is empty now, I don't know what to do! Please help! I'm desperate, I wish there were some way to explain to my human that when I WANT to play, they HAVE to cooperate! Why can't I make it listen to me... I'm at the verge of barking. :hurt:
 

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I honestly don't know what goes on in Mia's mind most the time. It must be a zany place... I'd LOVE to know.

I'm pretty sure Mia would post about her stupid owner and boring sister and then Summer would post about her annoying sister.
 

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"Today I looked at my human and then at my food dish. The human did nothing. So I looked at her again and then back at my food dish again. Still nothing. So then I looked at her again and back at the food dish again. She finally put food in the dish, but I really need a reliable dish-filling on the first command because I've heard you're not supposed to repeat commands. What do I do to make her understand this?"
 

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How can I train my human to bring me across the street to play with my friend EVERY time we go outside? I think she knows the command, but she doesn't obey consistently. I've tried everything. I lunge, I bark, I jump to get her attention then lunge again. I reward her with kisses and invite her to play with us every time she listens, but I still can't get her to obey more than once a day. It's affecting my social life and I'm starting to consider re-homing her. Is there anything I can do to save her?
 

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probably something like-- "Why does my human follow me around obsessively with a plastic bag, why is she obsessed with my poops?" But wont let me eat poop since she is so busy collecting them all for herself!"
 

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Lol that's funny. I know Luke wants to go one way for his walk and I swear he says, "Well I'll let her figure out where I want to go."
"I don't want that toy, I want this toy!!"
"I left the newspaper alone, may I have a treat now?"
ETC

Or I swear he says other things that I don't know about; I love dog expressions.
 

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Why does my owner feed me this dry crap when they eat all kinds of great nutritionally void foods...i wish they were made to eat one thing because they will live longer....who wants to be 120 yrs old still eating the boring same old thing. I would choose to be 8 when i die and enjoy twinkies and mcdonalds instead of kibble. AND... I love the concept they have when I go on a hunger strike..when he gets hungry enough he'll eat it....yeah, Thanks alot..enjoy your ice cream. Ugh!
 

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"Guys, sometimes when my owner leaves the house she doesn't bring me with her. Not all the time, just some of the time. I've tried to make it clear that I want her to take me with her all the time. I'm very consistent. But sometimes, no matter how much I whine at her, she still leaves without me. I really worry about her wandering around out there alone, even if she does have her license. Any tips on how I can teach her to always take me along?"

I think the biggest change, if this were a forum for dogs, would be all the pictures of humans in the signatures and avatars.
Actually, whole threads dedicated to human pictures.
 

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I'm pretty sure when I first brought my golden, Dug, home Tee said, "yeah, he's cute...now take him back!"

Sometimes I see the conversation that they have to each other as well: the only time I've seen Tee get "snappy" with Dug was when I was teaching Dug sit and wait before going outside. We had gone thru several of these when Tee grabbed Dug by the neck and jerked him down. (no blood or other wounds) but it was like Tee was saying, "That door is never gonna open unless you sit...and I really need to pee, so knock it off!"

Dug, is a barker. He has a bark for when he wants attention, a bark for when he needs to go outside and he also has a very annoying bark to let me know that "Tee stole my toy again mom!"
 

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"I love my human, but sometimes I get so angry when we go swimming and she insists I bring the bumper back to her and sit, that I really start to lose my temper! The other day I completely lost it with her and called her a few really, really bad words. I don't think she heard me, but she did look at me funny. All I want her to do is throw the bumper. Why does she insist that I actually bring it to her and then sit? What's that got to do with anything? I mean, seriously! How stupid can she get? Grab the bumper, throw the bumper, grab the bumper, throw the bumper. It's really not that hard! I humor her at home, isn't that enough?"
 

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Boy, I really love that game we play where I jump on the bed and whine in his face at 5 AM, and he pretends to ignore me. Hahahaha, he's good at that one. Eventually, I win, though, and he gets up to feed me.

Man, I came this close to getting that squirrel! I'm absolutely sure I'll catch him the next time!
 

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"Bob...I have been writing to you on your car windows and patio doors using my snoot and tongue for a long time.
I have even drawn diagrams using my snoot and tongue on the closet door mirrors... You just wipe them off with windex.
and never reply...."
 

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"Bob...I have been writing to you on your car windows and patio doors using my snoot and tongue for a long time.
I have even drawn diagrams using my snoot and tongue on the closet door mirrors... You just wipe them off with windex.
and never reply...."
Good one!

Have you tried reading the book, "How to talk to humas"? I highly recommend it. The book discusses what goes through the human mind and how to talk to them in vocalizations they can understand.
 

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" Why on earth is she putting the rest of the cheese away? im not done with it! "

"Okay... Im being quiet, your turn."
 
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