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I used to hit my dog

3487 Views 10 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  RonE
Ok so... I just wanted to find help because I'm on my floor nearly in tears. This happens a lot, I just go back down memory lane and remember the stuff I used to do to my dogs when I was younger. I am a teenager now, but I used to abuse my dogs whenever I was like 6-11. I didn't really even know I was abusing them, I knew it was wrong, but whenever my dogs wouldn't listen to me I'd fly into a literal fit of rage, hitting them, beating them, choking them, all this crazy stuff. On walks when they'd bark or pull, I'd lift them onto their hind legs with the leash, which would choke them. I look back on it and I feel awful, like, if I could change one thing in my life it would be that. I love animals so much and I loved dogs but I would just get so angry at them and abuse them and I DON'T KNOW WHY. :( Like seriously, I can't figure it out. Occasionally, now that I'm older, I'll find myself sometimes raising my voice at one of my dogs and maybe giving him or her a slap on the rump, but I don't beat them anymore.

Why did I do that as a kid? I was never abused, I had a great life and I still do... I have a huge heart and I'm even a vegetarian because I love animals so much but I just seriously hate my dogs sometimes. A few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD and panic disorder but idk if that has something to do with it

Please help, I feel like a horrid rotten human being and I know that I am for doing this, I just want to die sometimes because I think back on it. why did I do this as a kid? how can I forgive myself, and how can I get rid of my anger once and for all? I've seen a therapist, but she was no help. I'm just really really sad and upset and feel horrid right now.
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Sounds like you were a kid that would get really frustrated and then act out when you were frustrated.

It's not that uncommon. Honestly it doesn't sound like you were just torturing them for fun on a good day??

You were just frustrated and didn't know any better its nothing to beat yourself up over as an adult.
Go get baptized or something lol. whatever it takes, set down that burden of shit you did when you were a child.

Nobody is gonna judge you for being a frustrated 6 year old they are gonna judge you for the actions you take when you are old enough to know better.

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