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I think this is a good place to post this.

912 Views 13 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  laurelsmom
I recently lost my beloved dog so I'll be posting in the memorial thread soon. I am having a difficult time with this giant void in my life. I don't want to get a new dog right away because we need time to grieve. Actually my husband is so heartbroken he said it's going to be a long time before we get one. A part of me wants a dog right now because I want to fill that emptiness. But that would be wrong and not fair for the new dog. I thought if I joined this forum it might help fill some of that void. It would give me something to do. Offer advice and suggestions. Am I doing the right thing or will this just rub salt in the wounds. What do you all think.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

As a new dog owner, I would enjoy reading about your pooch if writing would be helpful to you.
Thank you for your reply. I'll be posting that soon.
I can understand how you are feeling. I havn't lost my pet but I have to leave my ESA with my parents as I was moving to city for higher education. It broke my heart when I didn't receive ESA letter on time and I wasn't able to fly with my pet. Its been 6 months now since I havn't met my Matt(My Dog).
I lost my 16yo dog about 2.5 years ago. As I did with 4 other dogs, I got another dog quickly to fill the emptiness. In this case, since we knew how we would feel, it was only two weeks. We did make minor comparisons between the old dog and new dog, talked about how the old dog used to act, and would occasionally call the new dog by the old dog's name.

But the bottomline is that the attention required by the new dog forced us to push through the grieving process quickly. An unexpected benefit is that just as we grew old with the old dog, we necessarily were rejuvenated by the new dog. I lost 5 lbs in the first month, just trying to keep up ... b/c the old dog hobbled slowly on walks ... and the new dog was a rocket, still enthusiastic and energetic as training took hold. And, I use the lessons learned with the previous dogs as legacy knowledge to improve how I care and train my new dog.

I think your old dog would want you continue the love to another dog. I think good friends and family would want you to move on, to be happy as soon as possible. Your husband may be a different issue, b/c he may feel guilty or disloyal to the old dog, or may just not want to endure the pain again. I don't know why, but I think men have it worse than women. Although I've had more dogs than my wife, I think she handled the deaths better than I do, which is why I like to adopt quickly to distract me from wallowing in the grief, pushing through the necessary process as fast as possible. I think your husband may resist a new dog or puppy ... but after you get over the 'shock' of house training again, and of "shoes" destroyed by a chewing puppy ... within a month, I think he'll fall under the spell of a new dog/pup, and will bond with it within 3 mos ... if he is anything like me. ;-)
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I’m sorry for your loss.

Grief is not linear. There is no timeline of when is the “right time” to get another dog. Some people can’t stand to be without one, and get another right away. Other people wait months, or even years, before getting another. I will say that no dog is ever replaced. They are merely succeeded.

Maybe you might consider fostering for a rescue or other organization? Maybe volunteer to walk dogs at a local shelter? You get to help a dog, without a long term commitment.
I am sorry for your loss. I will only add this and I hope it is true...

“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

― Unknown Author
Very sorry to hear Jersymomma. I don't think there's a wrong thing to do as far as getting another dog and when outside making sure you and your husband find the right compromise.
I lost my 17 year old dog in November. It was a huge gut-punch. I got a new puppy for Christmas, which was probably too soon*, but while my sweet weird Queenie could never be replaced, Jet really does fill that dog-shaped hole in the household.

*I've been a complete hypochondriac about his care and health in a way that's out of the ordinary for me, and I think it's because the pain of losing a dog to illness is too fresh
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a dog is a terrible no good thing we all have to go through. IMO, there's no "right" time to get a new dog. Some people grieve and wait a year or more. Some people get a new dog right away. I decided to go another route -- get a second, younger dog so when I lose my old gal, I still have a dog. Though my younger dog is so social that there's a good chance when we lose my old gal, we'll be getting another one soon after.

Please come talk about your dog, share photos and stories. Sometimes it's really good to talk about the good times and how special they are and we'd all love to hear about him/her.
I know how you are feeling because I had the same situation few months back when I lost my ESA. It felt so bad that I once again was in depression. But, i didn't wait for my situation to get worse. I consulted a doctor online on My ESA Doctor and he provided me with an ESA letter. And soon I was having a lil cute ESA Dog again with me filling my days with Love, licking my face and happiness around.
I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes extending help to others can help fill that void. Have you considered volunteering at your local shelter? There are so many pets in need, and not just of a new home but enrichment as well. Perhaps by going and volunteering you can not only help yourself in filling the void by sharing your care and compassion with pet's in need, but also help others in need as well in doing so. An hey, you never know, you may end up building a great relationship with a furry, four legged creature while you are there and end up with a new loved one in your home. =)
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pooch. I would encourage you to get another one as soon as possible. There are so many sweet pooches that need a family so bad. You obviously have so much love to offer. I think it would be great for you, your husband and whatever new dog you chose.
I got Laurel very soon after my own loss but it felt like a long time. Sometimes I still call her by my dear departed's name, but it's just old habit. I couldn't have gotten through this without her. My friend says that her mini Aussie was the only creature who could help her when her husband died.

Our dogs are unique and irreplaceable. One of their many qualities is their compassion and ability to help us deal what can't be fixed, only carried. We need puppies and rainbows in our lives when we are grieving.
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