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Discussion Starter #1
I have a 3 month old Brittany. She’s an angel. I love her to death. Last night I was totally overwhelmed and she kept biting and nipping at me in bed and I just snapped (it will never happened again) but I spanked her, I held her down and kept saying “No” she got really really scared. I feel horrible and I went way over the top. I’ve learned my lesson, so please don’t spend your whole response scolding me- I get it.

my question is this: today she is acting weird. She will approach me and put her paws up on and and lick me etc like normal. But she won’t go anywhere near my bed (where the incident took place) and she’s walking around with her tail between her legs. Not running around playing and jumping all over the place like she usually does. I did bring her into my bed to try and show her it’s ok, and she just would like cower and push her body right up against mine and not look up. It’s weird and sad. So I stopped with that.She doesn’t try to jump on the sofa with me like usual, she just sits on the floor under my feet. She still follows me around the house but she’s very timid and scared seeming. How do I get her back to her normal loving state? Have I ruined our relationship forever?
 

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Not ideal, obviously, but life happens....

Puppies can go through several periods when they react more strongly or fearfully to things (frequently called "fear periods"), and what is called "single event learning" is a thing (as in "it made such an impression that I'll never do THAT again"), and it could turn out that she was so scared that she might never want to be on your bed again. Otherwise, just give her time to chill and calm down. Stop trying to lure her into the area or up on the bed.

Luckily, puppies tend to be very forgiving and malleable, so with time, she should start feeling better.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Okay. It’s so unlike me to do that. But I just snapped and really scolded her, several times over the course of like 10 minutes. I spanked her once. She tried to run away and I just kept her in my bed and made her lay down and stop, which she did. She slept with me in bed all night but she wouldn’t stay in the bed without being right up against my body, if I moved her off to an area of the bed alone she would try to run away- she had to be pressed up against me. I have her up on the sofa with me now and she has to be pressed right up against me also. Like she feels like if she’s off a foot or so away on her own that she is scared. Also, she won’t eat like she normally does. I had to hand feed her. She won’t just eat out of her bowl like she usually does.
 

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Sounds like she really stressed out over it. It's hard, I know, but the calmer and more matter of fact you are about life going on, the more likely she is to recover from it, as well.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So, I haven’t totally lost her? Take it slow and let her come to me? Over time? She’s just so calm. She’s usually running around and playing. She won’t do anything but walk around with her tail between her legs and lay on the floor in the corner
 

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No, you probably haven't lost her for good. Yes, just take it slow. If she doesn't want to come to you, don't force the issue (emergencies excepted, of course), and give her a chance to see that you're still her "mom" or "dad", and that nothing scary is going to happen again.

My pittie is pretty sensitive, and with an autistic teenager in the house, things can get very loud and very chaotic at times. She will run and hide in her crate when that happens, although she is not normally scared of him.
 

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She'll come around, I promise. Next time, Just walk away, put your puppy away and walk away. Play with her, and give her treats and cuddles. She'll come around.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
She won’t really come to me and she’s laying on the floor in a place she never lays. Poor thing I feel horrible. I really scared her
 

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Also, when I pick her up and hold her on the couch or on my bed she shakes and will run away the moment I stop holding her
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I’m honestly wondering if I’ve ruined it and if maybe I should just give her away and get a new puppy
 

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If you're going to give up that easily, please don't get another puppy.

Dogs, even sensitive ones, are resilient. Give her some space and as much time as she needs. Most of us that have dogs have screwed up more than once.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
It’s so sad. When I take her outside to go to the bathroom, she doesn’t want to go back inside. She normally darts inside. Now she gets to the door and tries to run away :(
 

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Also, when I pick her up and hold her on the couch or on my bed she shakes and will run away the moment I stop holding her
Like people have said, stop forcing her to do things for right now. Stop holding her in one place, stop being all weird around her. Just act like everything's normal, don't act all sad and cautious. Give her space; let her come to you. Right now you're just reinforcing that this is a big deal.

I agree with Ron, too. If you do give her back, do not get another puppy.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
When I went to bed tonight I didn’t put her in her crate and she followed me to bed and jumped up on my bed. She’s not afraid of the bed I guess but now she has to be pressed right up against me in the bed. If I move her off to the side she comes scurrying back over to me and presses against my side
 

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Typicial puppy blues.
We get overwhelmed, we wonder if we are doing the right thing, if we can cope, if it will ever get any better, and when, and sometimes we can have a bit of a meltdown... It happens. But..
Hopefully you have now realised that negative training results in negative feelings.
Of course there have been times when we have yelled at the dogs. George is a terrible one for picking up sticks (a left over from his old home) but one time in the park he bent forward towward a recently discarded cigarette.. Of course I was shocked and sharply pulled him away and yelled NO..

But that was the end of it no physical punishment or continued reprimands.

Try to work on the nipping by stopping it as it starts distract your pup or remove yourself from the area so puppy gets no attention.. Play nice lots of fun play rough and Im on my own it will soon sink in.
The thing is with dogs they are very forgiving..
 

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A
If you're going to give up that easily, please don't get another puppy.

Dogs, even sensitive ones, are resilient. Give her some space and as much time as she needs. Most of us that have dogs have screwed up more than once.

As Ron said.... if you are going to give up so easily.... Don't bother trying again.


Dogs forgive our failures and transgressions...

Besides... you have the food....
 

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Try forgiving yourself, I think she is picking up on your feelings and it's making her feel bad longer? Have you tried to treat her when she does something good, pat her on the head and say good girl. She will come around.
 
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