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This post really pulled at my heart strings! Years ago... many... an old boyfriend and I decided to get a puppy. We were very young and didn't know much, and ended up adopting a jack russell pug mix from a puppy mill. At the time I didn't even know what a puppy mill was... he was older, and went unadopted in a cage for months before we got him. I truly hated this dog for about the first year. He lived in a cage where his poop and pee just fell through the bottom, so house training was so hard... he peed on everything, marked everything and destroyed what he didn't pee on by tearing it to shreds. He ate the linoleum floor and wall paper in an apartment I was renting.

It took a long time. I don't even remember how I did it. He turned out to be an awesome dog, and my best friend through my college years, first marriage (and divorce), the birth of my son. He still peed on things every now and then. If I hadn't given that dog all that I had during the first year I wouldn't have gotten to see all that he would give to me for all the years that followed. Good luck :)
 

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This post really pulled at my heart strings! Years ago... many... an old boyfriend and I decided to get a puppy. We were very young and didn't know much, and ended up adopting a jack russell pug mix from a puppy mill. At the time I didn't even know what a puppy mill was... he was older, and went unadopted in a cage for months before we got him. I truly hated this dog for about the first year. He lived in a cage where his poop and pee just fell through the bottom, so house training was so hard... he peed on everything, marked everything and destroyed what he didn't pee on by tearing it to shreds. He ate the linoleum floor and wall paper in an apartment I was renting.

It took a long time. I don't even remember how I did it. He turned out to be an awesome dog, and my best friend through my college years, first marriage (and divorce), the birth of my son. He still peed on things every now and then. If I hadn't given that dog all that I had during the first year I wouldn't have gotten to see all that he would give to me for all the years that followed. Good luck :)
I had two puppy mill rescues and both times I said I would never do it again LOL .... the 2nd dog was the last straw for me, no more after that.
 

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Hi everyone, I'm basically a first time dog owner and I've had the puppy for just over a month now--he's about 5 months old. I got him enrolled in puppy classes the first week that I got him and he's finishing that up this Saturday.

He has some really normal behavioural problems for his age: biting, barking, jumping, etc and we are working on it. He learns really quickly and he is crate trained and house-broken. I currently work from home so I am able to take him out a lot (he gets maybe 6 or so walks a day ranging from 20mins-hour each (and that's sometimes including play-time with other dogs).

I crate him to get work done..about 3-4 hours at a time usually followed by a walk, some play time, hanging out in the grass so he doesn't get shack-wacky in there. He doesn't whine or or anything unless he knows it's almost a meal time.

I was always a dog-lover and every-time I saw a dog I got excited, every-time I could interact with one I would. I got to the point that I was researching every rescue, shelter, pound within a few city radius to find a dog that my partner and I could agree on.

What I am trying to say here is that I am doing absolutely everything I can to follow the proper procedure, I try to think in his best interest always and this wasn't a split second decision.. I waited about 4 years to get a dog to make sure I was in a good position to take care of it.

And now that I have one after all that obsessing and hoping and excitation I am not bonding with him at all. It's not his behavioural problems (although they don't help) but I don't even get that pleasant feeling when he does something cute, I don't get that nice feeling when I pet him. Mainly I am feeling nothing towards him at all--unless he is acting up which aren't good emotions.

I don't want it to be like this, I don't want to give up on him and potentially put his hyper ass in a worse situation than what he has now. I want to get to the point that we can be buds, but all I'm doing is dreading the thought that this is the next 12+ years of my life--caring for something I don't even like.

I really need some support here, I feel like such a bad person for disliking a bloody puppy--is it common to have trouble bonding with a dog at first?

UPDATE FOR YOU GOOGLERS WHO HAVE BEEN WONDERING HOW THIS WORKED OUT:

Hey person who is googling, "I hate my puppy". You are not alone and you are totally right that puppies are rip-offs. For all the money that you spend on them in their first year, they don't return enough love or cuteness for your investment. What a bunch of jerks.
I really, really disliked my puppy and I was trying really hard to be his friend.

Fast forward a year and this is how it turned out: I never ended up liking my puppy...BUT I LOVE the dog that he became. That sweet dog bond you want comes from putting up with each other's shit for a year until you've moulded one another into something that works together. Focus on training (get that crate training down) and just grit your teeth through all the horrible stuff your puppy is doing. That little dummy is going to need all the patience you have because honestly if this thing were in the wild it would have died off instantly. That patience will pay off if you stick to the training and you'll have a really great friend eventually. It won't feel like there is progress for a while but that is just because it's an animal and not a computer that you can program. And you aren't a computer either, you can't just tell yourself to start loving something--but you can give it time and you'll both get Stockholm syndrome and it will all work out! Kidding, but only kinda--you will get to love them.

If you have been feeling the "is this really the next 12 years of my life?" sinking feeling you'll probably feel it for a while, but it DOES go away. Don't feel guilty for not loving your pup straight away--even parents go through it with their own babies and adoptive parents are primed for "not loving their baby" when they adopt. It's super common and you aren't a bad person. Well, you might be, but not because of this.

Anyways, happy story time! My dog is cool, we play fetch everyday, he snuggles up to me when I'm upset, he barks at construction workers when they whistle at me and he also barks at squirrels (in his defence, I think they've been taunting him) Also I don't have fantasies about him finding a new home anymore.

It's really hard to bring a dog into your life and most people won't really get what you are going through. Don't let them make you feel like a bad person and keep reminding yourself that others have gone through the same thing and it can and likely will get a lot better. The bo
Hi everyone, I'm basically a first time dog owner and I've had the puppy for just over a month now--he's about 5 months old. I got him enrolled in puppy classes the first week that I got him and he's finishing that up this Saturday.

He has some really normal behavioural problems for his age: biting, barking, jumping, etc and we are working on it. He learns really quickly and he is crate trained and house-broken. I currently work from home so I am able to take him out a lot (he gets maybe 6 or so walks a day ranging from 20mins-hour each (and that's sometimes including play-time with other dogs).

I crate him to get work done..about 3-4 hours at a time usually followed by a walk, some play time, hanging out in the grass so he doesn't get shack-wacky in there. He doesn't whine or or anything unless he knows it's almost a meal time.

I was always a dog-lover and every-time I saw a dog I got excited, every-time I could interact with one I would. I got to the point that I was researching every rescue, shelter, pound within a few city radius to find a dog that my partner and I could agree on.

What I am trying to say here is that I am doing absolutely everything I can to follow the proper procedure, I try to think in his best interest always and this wasn't a split second decision.. I waited about 4 years to get a dog to make sure I was in a good position to take care of it.

And now that I have one after all that obsessing and hoping and excitation I am not bonding with him at all. It's not his behavioural problems (although they don't help) but I don't even get that pleasant feeling when he does something cute, I don't get that nice feeling when I pet him. Mainly I am feeling nothing towards him at all--unless he is acting up which aren't good emotions.

I don't want it to be like this, I don't want to give up on him and potentially put his hyper ass in a worse situation than what he has now. I want to get to the point that we can be buds, but all I'm doing is dreading the thought that this is the next 12+ years of my life--caring for something I don't even like.

I really need some support here, I feel like such a bad person for disliking a bloody puppy--is it common to have trouble bonding with a dog at first?

UPDATE FOR YOU GOOGLERS WHO HAVE BEEN WONDERING HOW THIS WORKED OUT:

Hey person who is googling, "I hate my puppy". You are not alone and you are totally right that puppies are rip-offs. For all the money that you spend on them in their first year, they don't return enough love or cuteness for your investment. What a bunch of jerks.
I really, really disliked my puppy and I was trying really hard to be his friend.

Fast forward a year and this is how it turned out: I never ended up liking my puppy...BUT I LOVE the dog that he became. That sweet dog bond you want comes from putting up with each other's shit for a year until you've moulded one another into something that works together. Focus on training (get that crate training down) and just grit your teeth through all the horrible stuff your puppy is doing. That little dummy is going to need all the patience you have because honestly if this thing were in the wild it would have died off instantly. That patience will pay off if you stick to the training and you'll have a really great friend eventually. It won't feel like there is progress for a while but that is just because it's an animal and not a computer that you can program. And you aren't a computer either, you can't just tell yourself to start loving something--but you can give it time and you'll both get Stockholm syndrome and it will all work out! Kidding, but only kinda--you will get to love them.

If you have been feeling the "is this really the next 12 years of my life?" sinking feeling you'll probably feel it for a while, but it DOES go away. Don't feel guilty for not loving your pup straight away--even parents go through it with their own babies and adoptive parents are primed for "not loving their baby" when they adopt. It's super common and you aren't a bad person. Well, you might be, but not because of this.

Anyways, happy story time! My dog is cool, we play fetch everyday, he snuggles up to me when I'm upset, he barks at construction workers when they whistle at me and he also barks at squirrels (in his defence, I think they've been taunting him) Also I don't have fantasies about him finding a new home anymore.

It's really hard to bring a dog into your life and most people won't really get what you are going through. Don't let them make you feel like a bad person and keep reminding yourself that others have gone through the same thing and it can and likely will get a lot better. The bonding will come--even if it takes a while and it's an uphill battle. Good luck --you aren't alone!
Thank you so much for that answer. My golden retriever is only 6 months and I honestly don't like this dog. She gets on my nerves. I paid $ 2000 for her so I feel extra guilty for not loving her. You are so right......my dog would not even survive a few hours in the wild lol.
 

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First, this thread is 6 years old ;-) I imagine that you're posting for help?

If so, recommendations:
1. Look online, and train her to Sit, Down, Come, to recognize her name. Look up the term Bite Inhibition, and teach her to have a soft mouth.
2. Teach her to catch a small treat or a piece of kibble, then a small toy, and a tennis ball.
3. Walk her every day, twice a day, for at least 30 minutes. Build up to it, if she gets too hot, or tired.
4. Brush her at least once a week, and start trimming her nails every two weeks. If this is new then try clipping a foot every other day, and give her a treat after each nail. Don't clip much, just the tip to blunt the point, and with more practice you can clip more.

The main thing is to interact with her so she can adapt to you. If you can do these things, even with Stay At Home orders, you will find that she gets on your nerves less and less, and in about 3 mos, the pest will turn into a companion.

If you have specific questions, start a new post and list the first 5 - 10 questions. One of the great things about a Golden is that they've been around since the 1800s, and the majority of problems and questions have straightforward answers.
 

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Thank you so much for that answer. My golden retriever is only 6 months and I honestly don't like this dog. She gets on my nerves. I paid $ 2000 for her so I feel extra guilty for not loving her. You are so right......my dog would not even survive a few hours in the wild lol.
This thread is 6 years old. Please start a new thread to ask your questions.
 
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