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I never heard any more posts from Hikeon, but from the final post, I gather that Astro (?) was settling a little and they were accepting it ... I hope they don't give up on kids, b/c of experience with a puppy...
 

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I never heard any more posts from Hikeon, but from the final post, I gather that Astro (?) was settling a little and they were accepting it ... I hope they don't give up on kids, b/c of experience with a puppy...
I think that dealing with puppies is probably easier than dealing with Children. I remember when we got Reina I would not be able to sleep at all, so we'd take turns: I'd stay up with her and my mum would take care of her during the day. It was all very exhausting, but at least when you train a dog that's that. You have the little teen months and then you're set, for good or for bad.

When it comes to children, you're not only signing up for the lack of sleep of the first year and short sleep until they're 7, but you also have to deal with the terrible two's AND the teen years. To be quite honest, I love children, but I wish there was a way you could be a grandmother without having to be a mum first! But yeah, I think that if you're having a rough time with a puppy, I can't imagine how much harder it must be with a baby. Of course people change and become more mature and they can learn to accept that sort of things. Besides, biology helps parents in the sense that giving birth alters the way your brain works, so there's that... but still...
 

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Just like infants, they are super cute and adorable but I only want to hold one for about 60 seconds and you can have it back lol.

For every cute thing they do there are a dozen things they puked, pooped or pee'd on.
 

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He's very good looking! Keep with it, the teething process can be rough but it's temporary (just like hyper puppy phase). I definitely agree with the comment that a month is a really short time to judge this kind of thing, real bonding can take a while so don't worry.
 

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I didn't read most of the replies, but I have German shepherd/coonhound mix puppy (she will be 6 months old tomorrow!) and dear heavens, I felt the same way. I was NOT prepared for all the work that puppies entail and I swear, for the first two or three months I had ppd. I did not bond with her, I resented all the work, I considered finding a new home for her...The whole nine yards. Gradually, I started looking forward to spending time with her and being with her, and now...Man. She's my little princess. Now that she and I know each other and have a good system down, we are in a really, really good place. :) I love her so much and I'm so glad I stuck through it. She's still a ton of work (grooming, exercise, socialization, logistics) but its not "work" now, I'm happy to do it for her so that she's happy and healthy and has a good life.

You'll get there. :)
 

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I'm going to add my name to the list of "it's normal...just stick with it." We've had our dog for about 2 1/2 months, and I posted a thread on this forum that basically said the same thing you did - why don't I love this dog like I thought I would? We adopted an adult dog, and so didn't have the "puppy" phase to go through, but we did have the "every two hours at night" crying, and the housebreaking issues, and the stress chewing.... it was all so much at once!! I was devastated. But someone on this forum said "Of course you're not bonding - you're not sleeping, you're paranoid about her peeing, you're at her beckon call for every imagined need... there's no room for bonding yet. But there will be... hang in there." And they were absolutely right.

Those first weeks were horrid. I have always been a "dog person" and wanted a dog my whole life, so I felt so betrayed when I didn't warm up to my dog immediately. I came here and everyone said "That's totally normal....just wait." And they were right.

We're still adjusting, but now I actually look forward to coming home and seeing her... I look forward to walking her... and I now get those warm fuzzies when I look at her, and I would do anything at all to help her be a healthy, happy dog. BUT that didn't come for a while... and coming back to this forum multiple times was a lifeline that pulled me through the hardest moments. Having a dog isn't what I thought it would be, but that's OK - I'm beginning to love what it really is.

I'm not going to tell you to take it one day at a time - that's too much. So I'll tell you to take it one hour at a time. Take it one minute at a time. Eventually "that puppy" will be "my puppy" and then it will be "my dog" and then it will be "my awesome dog".
 

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I think that dealing with puppies is probably easier than dealing with Children. I remember when we got Reina I would not be able to sleep at all, so we'd take turns: I'd stay up with her and my mum would take care of her during the day. It was all very exhausting, but at least when you train a dog that's that. You have the little teen months and then you're set, for good or for bad.

When it comes to children, you're not only signing up for the lack of sleep of the first year and short sleep until they're 7, but you also have to deal with the terrible two's AND the teen years. To be quite honest, I love children, but I wish there was a way you could be a grandmother without having to be a mum first! But yeah, I think that if you're having a rough time with a puppy, I can't imagine how much harder it must be with a baby. Of course people change and become more mature and they can learn to accept that sort of things. Besides, biology helps parents in the sense that giving birth alters the way your brain works, so there's that... but still...
This ... Very much this. It will always be dogs for me, thanks. The thought of being responsible for another human being scares the crud out of me :S
 

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Discussion Starter #49
I'm at the point now where every-time I feel overwhelmed I come back and read this thread--and there's usually some new advice/support. This has seriously helped, thank you guys.
 

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You're putting a lot of effort into training him, which is fantastic - you will be paid back with a great dog. He's using up all your energy at this point and you're too pooped to enjoy him, and you may even resent him. Puppies can make you nuts, and stressed, and tired! Once your little guy grows up you will love him to bits, I'm sure of it.

I'm actually going through a similar situation. Our perfect dog passed away and we got a new puppy. Of course I know I'm not supposed to compare one dog to another, but at this point they are so polar opposites. I wish I would have kept a journal of all the bad things my Simon did as a pup, because I don't remember any. Little Rafa is trying hard to be a star and I have to remind myself it will take time. Best wishes. Judy
 

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I'm glad I came across this thread as I feel the exact same way. I picked up my four month old English Cocker Spaniel puppy Jet three days ago and like you, I've always wanted and loved dogs, especially when I'd see them out and about. I was excited to take it for walks and give it treats and all of that, but like someone here said, you like the adult dogs you see and the cuteness of puppies but when you have one yourself.. oh boy! I feel bad because I look at him and just sigh. I'm exhausted with the constant walks, puppy watching, whining at night, attempts at housebreaking, etc., etc. I'm so tired and just want a break. I've even caught myself thinking I wouldn't mind if he wasn't here any more, but from what I read in this thread it seems all that is normal.

When I'm out and about with him and people come up to stroke him and say how cute and adorable he is I kinda feel like one of those mums who get people saying "Isn't being a mum the best job in the world?" and thinking "If only you knew.."

I'm hoping he matures soon and we can become more of a team. Thankfully I have my mum on hand to help but she doesn't fully understand how to train him and tell him "NO!" when he's bad, as all we've ever had are cats that you don't really need to train or discipline very much, so a dog is a whole other ball game.
 

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If you know someone with a well mannered adult dog he can socialize with that can really help too. Very important to give him his own spot (bed ,crate,chair whatever) and plenty of toys of his own . Get in a routine with feeding & walks, don't forget to talk to him . If you're disgusted sit him down & tell him then make him go away when he tries to come back tell him No Go Away! After a few minutes & a couple times of him trying to get back in your good graces sit & talk to him & explain calmly why you were upset .pet him & tell him that you love him . If he does something good , even as simple as grabbing his own toy. Shower him with praise , make a big deal out of it. He will soon come around . He wants to be a good dog .
 

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man oh man, this post saved me last night. we rescued a 10 week old english bulldog mix about a month ago, and it has been an experience.

I had originally wanted to give a rescue adult or senior dog a nice place to live out his/her golden years, but my boyfriend wanted a puppy because he didn’t want any baggage from someone else. we did all the research, bought all the supplies, I thought I was mentally prepared...

It’s not that he (frank) has even been terrible, I’ve read some puppy horror stories so I know he’s not the worst. I’m just not feeling the connection like I thought I would. and I’m feeling like my boyfriend is having a much easier time controlling him. He doesn’t nip or play bite with him, he doesn’t hump him. I’ve been reading all about the ‘pack leader’ thing but I’ve also been reading about how the pack leader thing is a sham! Just not sure what techniques to use with him. He as a good life though, my boyfriend and I are on opposite work schedules so someone is always home with him, he’s crated for very short periods during the day usually. He is in puppy class once a week and we’ve been clicking training with him since we got him. He's about 80% potty trained.

It doesn’t help that my boyfriend is away from home 2 nights a week, and those are the worst nights. I feel like my emotions are rubbing off on the dog, and he knows he can get away with more when it’s just me because I am not confident at all when I’m with him alone. last night was particularly bad. We had a humping episode, and it seems like as soon as he gets bored with any toy, he comes directly for my hands and starts biting. He never just lets me pet him. Last night he even growled at me a bit and barked while we were playing. He’s usually great in his crate, but when bedtime rolled around he was active, barking and whining for about an hour. He usually goes right in and lays down.

I’m just feeling let down because I’m the one that wanted a dog the most, and we compromised and got a puppy, and now I’m feeling like he’s taking more to my boyfriend than me, and each day it just gets worse and I get more and more down about it, it just keeps spiraling. At this point I don’t think I’d ever get a puppy again… and I’m very worried about his teenage years, I feel like the worst is yet to come.

sidenote, we do not want kids! This decision was made long before the puppy although I can’t help but feel like the puppy experience has solidified that choice in my mind. I don’t know how you parents do it, I have the ultimate respect for you. I’m so worried about messing my puppy up, I can’t imagine stressing about screwing up a human child!
 

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It doesn’t help that my boyfriend is away from home 2 nights a week, and those are the worst nights. I feel like my emotions are rubbing off on the dog, and he knows he can get away with more when it’s just me because I am not confident at all when I’m with him alone. last night was particularly bad. We had a humping episode, and it seems like as soon as he gets bored with any toy, he comes directly for my hands and starts biting. He never just lets me pet him. Last night he even growled at me a bit and barked while we were playing. He’s usually great in his crate, but when bedtime rolled around he was active, barking and whining for about an hour. He usually goes right in and lays down.

I’m just feeling let down because I’m the one that wanted a dog the most, and we compromised and got a puppy, and now I’m feeling like he’s taking more to my boyfriend than me, and each day it just gets worse and I get more and more down about it, it just keeps spiraling. At this point I don’t think I’d ever get a puppy again… and I’m very worried about his teenage years, I feel like the worst is yet to come.
I'm a total newbie to the dog world, but I have *some* experience with this from the other side. My wife is generally afraid of dogs, although ours is 17 pounds so how possibly scared could you be :) Her emotions were rubbing off, he wasn't connecting with her. But, he did connect with me, not sure if its just the deeper calmer voice, or the fact that I was inherently calmer than the wife with him.

10-11 weeks later, she's calmed down to "not-freaking-out" so he's connecting with her a little more every day. We have 2 kids, I had the younger one strictly feed him, but now the wife is on point to give him bully sticks upon leaving him home alone. She also tries to pet him more, which has increased both their comfort levels. Yesterday she was happy as when she came home, he sprinted up to say hello to her even though me/kids were in the house. He immediately assumed the "PET ME HUMAN" position, which she happily obliged.

Net net: Give it time, he'll grow closer, its not an overnight connection for some.

btw, i'm betting in a year once you've connected, you'll change your mind on the "I don't think I'd ever get a puppy again" bit.
 

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Glad this seems to be common. My biggest problem is that I've been sick since the day before we got the puppy. Between my medical issues and the basic puppy care, I feel like I'm not bonding with him well enough. I try to muster up the energy to play, but he's more aloof than I expected. He's a good puppy behavior-wise, but we joke he has ADD. After a few rounds of fetch, he wants to go sniff everything in the room and really wants nothing to do with you.

And I get a bit miffed that he doesn't really want to be pet. If he walks by, I'll reach out and pet him, but he doesn't seem to like it. He doesn't have they "Hey don't stop!" thing. He really doesn't show any interest in me unless I've got food (or until he realizes I don't have any). lol
 

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Reading this thread makes me feel so much better. Like others, I wanted a dog for 10 years and finally got my husband to let me have a dog and we got a puppy and had so many similar feeling to what others have expressed here. We ended up returning her to the shelter which is not something I ever thought that I would do in my life, but she was lunging at our cats and being aggressive towards them and we realized that she was a great dog, but just not the right dog for our family. It was heartbreaking but it was the right choice. This gives me hope for eventually finding the right dog in the future. But that dog will be an adult!!
 
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