Puppy Forum and Dog Forums banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi there to all the dog owners/ lovers!

I stumbled across this forum as I was googling my thoughts of rehoming my dog... and I don't know weather I feel relived or even more overwhelmed that many new dog owners before and I'm sure after me all develop the same feelings.

So a little background I guess,

I recently adopted a one and a half year old retriever/ collie mix and I cannot help but feel... utterly and completely in over my head!:help:

I have been wanting to adopt a dog for the past 2 or so years and had been realistically considering this for the past year. As an new potential pet parent, I of course, got overly excited! Researching training techniques, reading blogs, watching training videos, looking up classes nearby, looking up dog parks and dog friendly events near by... you get the idea.

Finally I found a slightly older dog, because I knew my cat was not a fan of puppies (too much dog for him) And he is a REALLY REALLY good dog! He is more or less crate trained in the week that I've had him (is super quite in his crate!) Very clever, is also more or less indoor potty trained! (I live in a apartment.)

However... I just have this nagging feeling that maybe he's actually not the right dog...

He is super friendly with my cat, but unfortunately, my cat does not feel the same way and we have already had a situation where my cat actually bit me because the dog was blocking us, (I was holding my cat at the time.) (Not saying it was the cat or dog's fault, but not a great start for us as a family.)

He is also super energetic! I walk him for 30-45 mins in the morning before work, a dog walker has been coming in at 2:30 to walk him for another 30mins and then when I get home from work I walk him for another 15-20mins or so. Then at night he plays for 2-3hrs around the living room and then he is crated for bed. I know he is a young dog and therefore much more playful say to an 8 year old dog, but I cant help but feel he still needs more time outside and maybe I'm not a great fit for him? I'm waiting for his vet appointment next week before I start him at daycare and that way I can drive to work and drive him with him everyday. But... I don't know if that's going to help my feelings that maybe I'm not the one for him...

I have such a mantra of a pet is for life and I feel so guilty about even thinking about wanting to rehome him, but catch myself thinking of how less stressed I was when it was just me and my cat and our life when it was just us two.

He really is such an AMAZING friendly dog that loves people, dogs and cats! I just really don't know what to do... and I don't know if this feeling will pass or am I better of to rehome him now before he just used to this home and life?

Thanks for listening to my thoughts!
I would love to hear any advice coming my way!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,861 Posts
Buyer's remorse is a thing. You just had a huge change in lifestyle/routine. It will take awhile to get used to the new routine and to develop a deep bond with the dog. It sounds like you lucked out in temperament!

So. Yes. It is a normal feeling and I would give it a awhile longer. Eventually you will probably find yourself unable to imagine life without your dog.

Sometimes it isn't the right dog. Sometimes it is just freaking out about the change for no good reason.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Thank you for your response, it's definitely something that is reassuring to hear repeated that it takes time to adjust.

I guess it really was a bigger change then I was expecting, I guess as silly as it sounds I almost expected a dog to be a slightly more active cat that enjoys walks on a leash. In the process as well I guess I also found out things about myself that I hadn't noticed before, for example that I'm a bit more of a neat freak then I thought I was! haha

Thanks so much!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,861 Posts
Most people getting a dog, or even a dog on their own for the first time are never really prepared for the life change that it is compared to other animals. It's okay to feel that way. :)

I actually had a lot of remorse after getting my second puppy. Because we were so at odds with each other, and I got her at such a difficult time in my life we didn't end up truly bonding for about 2 years. I mean.. I spent an entire year regretting her. Another just accepting her for who she was. Once I accepted the problem was me, we would just relax and go play Frisbee together. We get each other now.. and I truly love her so much. Now the only regret I have is taking so long to realize the real issue was inside myself.

Maybe you need to relax the schedule a little. Look into food dispensing toys. Get some Kongs and stuff/freeze them with peanut butter. Start teaching them some cute little tricks. Find a nice field to play ball in or something (get a 50ft long leash to let him run). Walks are good.. but they don't have to be everything all the time. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,475 Posts
Any change in routine is hard for most people, let alone one that requires extra exercise and energy. It sounds like you're on the right track with your dog, but you need to do a bit of self-care. Maybe treat yourself to something relaxing, go to bed a half-hour earlier, etc.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Haha I've actually been finding myself, after we exhaust the learning a new trick standing around like a stunned mullet with my dog going... now what do we do? haha I need to look up some more fun things we can do together that's not just going on walks, especially when it's poor weather outside. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Yeah I took advantage of the fact that he crates so well during the working week and kept his weekday routine today (morning walk and food/ crate in morning/ afternoon walk/ crate afternoon/ home from work- potty and dinner).
I crated him whilst I was doing chores around the house without the pup following me around but could still see me. It was actually so nice to just have a clean house and it's sounds strange but I feel so much better! haha:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
526 Posts
I'm going to start with -- this is a recent adoption. I don't know HOW recent, but dogs take some time to destress. Our first dog was "easy" in that she stressed DOWN and so was completely not active for a time before her personality started to really emerge (she still turned out to be super mellow, but that's another story). My second dog? He was a NIGHTMARE. He was extremely stressed when we brought him home (we were the 7th or 8th place he landed in a few months between two shelters, two foster homes, and a failed adoption). And he stressed UP. He was pretty much constant activity from 5am until he collapsed around 10 or 11pm. We walked him for 6 miles a day. It still wasn't enough. We threw balls, we did all sorts of stuff with him and it wasn't enough.

And the more tired he got, the WORSE he got. He was mouthy, biting at clothes and hands when he got tired (not out of aggression, just stress, but he did break the skin twice on me). I had to put him on a leash at my side to get him to STOP MOVING and then he'd collapse into a puddle and fall asleep. I spent about a month wondering what on earth I had done to myself (this is a Border Collie/Springer Spaniel mix, so I KNEW I was getting a high energy dog but the STRESS was awful).

Then about a month in he got up on the couch one evening, sighed, and fell asleep. And it got better from there. He started to learn how to relax and we started to learn how to relate to each other. Now at 4-5ish he is a completely different dog and I cannot imagine my life without him. He's still pretty high energy, but he has control of himself and can relax. He's up and raring to go at the drop of a hat, but he can also curl up on the couch and cuddle while we watch a movie.

So basically, take a deep breath! Spend some time with your new dog playing games and doing some training thing. Take a class with him to do some obedience training.

Also to add -- this is a post I wrote about my dog Ben that explores a lot of this same stuff. I don't know...it might help! https://teamunrulyblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/the-emotional-impact-of-the-second-dog/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Also to add -- this is a post I wrote about my dog Ben that explores a lot of this same stuff. I don't know...it might help! https://teamunrulyblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/the-emotional-impact-of-the-second-dog/
Thanks for your post! I read your blog and could relate to basically everything you wrote. I think I'm going to give it more time and digest the changes. I still have moments of doubt whether a) he's the right dog or b) omg I made a mistake and I'm actually not cut out to be a dog owner.

I guess I'm super lucky that he's a young dog, but he's not a SUPER hyper dog. I guess I just thought he would be a tad more chilled/ lap dog, not realising that he probably won't settle for another year of so... So reading about your dog 'destressing' does make me think that he just needs more time to settle and to have that in the back of my mind too. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
526 Posts
Thanks for your post! I read your blog and could relate to basically everything you wrote. I think I'm going to give it more time and digest the changes. I still have moments of doubt whether a) he's the right dog or b) omg I made a mistake and I'm actually not cut out to be a dog owner.

I guess I'm super lucky that he's a young dog, but he's not a SUPER hyper dog. I guess I just thought he would be a tad more chilled/ lap dog, not realising that he probably won't settle for another year of so... So reading about your dog 'destressing' does make me think that he just needs more time to settle and to have that in the back of my mind too. :)
You'll probably have moments of doubt for a little while. That's normal.

How are things going?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
You'll probably have moments of doubt for a little while. That's normal.

How are things going?
It's been pretty good actually. :)

I think it's a combination of starting him in daycare when I'm at work and he's not as energetic when we get home at night during the week, and with the weather being so much nicer it's been easier to adjust to getting up earlier to walk him and getting in those evening potty breaks without the minus windchills. Plus we've been able to adventure more outside.

I've also had some time off work this week as well so we've been going on long walks and visiting the pet stores when theres not as many people.We actually just got back from petco and he pooped in my car so I gave him a bath and washed out the car cover. Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me. More of a lesson learnt that he needs to do a potty break before he gets back in the car. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
I had to re-home a rescue dog who got aggressive towards my kids. Both my family and the dog were better off with a change. We were poorly matched from the beginning, she was not good with kids at all and was a nervous wreck around my husband. We just got a puppy and I am feeling so much better about it. Sometimes things don't work out. I'm not sure if it's the same situation for the OP, but I think we need to put serious thought into rehoming a dog and do what is right for each individual situation. I mean, I do feel a hit overwhelmed by our puppy sometimes, but not at all like I did with our adult rescue. Don't let guilt or shame get in the way, do what's best for your family and your dog.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
526 Posts
It's been pretty good actually. :)

I think it's a combination of starting him in daycare when I'm at work and he's not as energetic when we get home at night during the week, and with the weather being so much nicer it's been easier to adjust to getting up earlier to walk him and getting in those evening potty breaks without the minus windchills. Plus we've been able to adventure more outside.

I've also had some time off work this week as well so we've been going on long walks and visiting the pet stores when theres not as many people.We actually just got back from petco and he pooped in my car so I gave him a bath and washed out the car cover. Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me. More of a lesson learnt that he needs to do a potty break before he gets back in the car. :)
Sorry for the lack of response! I'm so glad that things are starting to look up. I hope they're still going well!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Hey! I just got a pup too and I catch myself feeling the same way sometimes. It's only been a few days and I keep telling myself I'm going to stick it out and give her ample time (at least 4-6 weeks) to adjust and show some progress before I start getting desperate and frustrated. Give yourself (and your cat!) a time frame during which you can expect setbacks, no matter how minor or major. You and your pack can get through this together!
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top