Puppy Forum and Dog Forums banner

1 - 20 of 41 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,215 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
My friend has a Belgian Groenendael and I have a Tervuren. We took them for a drive together to this pet supplies store about 40 mins away cos they sell some pet food that most shops don't sell. So thought we'd have a nosy and have a girls day out.

Her dog is 4 and is super friendly and completely fine with people.
Mine is not so much, she takes a while to warm up to people and that's fine with me, I couldnt care less.

The owners of the pet shop and customers in the store had something to say about that however.
I got comments like " why is your dog so scared, whats wrong with her, she's too skinny"
I said she is just an anxious dog.
Another customer said "maybe if you got out more your dog would get more experience and wouldn't be like that"
People then proceeded to lecture me on how I should be approaching her with people and what I should be doing to fix her "problem"
I turned round and said there is nothing wrong with my dog she is just anxious and that's fine with me.
If I came in my vet tech scrubs with my dog acting the same way they wouldn't have acted like that. But why act like that to anybody when you have no idea. It just got me so annoyed. I know some people are trying to help, but these people were talking to me like I was a plank of wood!


However I did encounter one nice mother with her daughter and she said "no honey that doggy doesn't want to be petted" where I am from that's rare and people tend to let their kids come charging full pace at poor dogs on leads.

Obviously people are going to have different points of views on this, but why is it such a big deal to people that your dog has to be a giant bundle of friendliness to everyone.
My dog knows my close friends and family and she loves them and me. That's all I care about. If my dog doesn't want some stranger to pat her that she is never going to see again why should I care.
Is society really turning to the point where if your dog doesn't "like" people then they shouldn't be allowed out in public. Or "I'm offended your dog doesnt like me" take it away.

Ah, vent over.
Here is a pic of them, the pointer is hers also. 484164_385416384828602_2087706344_n.jpg
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,851 Posts
I deal with this often. Many of mine don't care for attention from strangers. I even had the instructors of the CGC tell me I should let some kids come up and pet one while doing our testing, when she clearly was not comfortable with them lol.

I also take in several dogs that bite. When ready, we go into public, though still calm environments, and I often get bad looks when I tell people no they can't pet the dog. I have yet to have an accidental bite though.

Even some dogs that are perfectly normal and safe, don't like to be petted.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,931 Posts
Yeah, strangers. Ignore them. BTW, friends of ours had a Terv and Groenendael, unfortunately both passed in the last year or two; wonderful dogs!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,258 Posts
Due to Potsie's abuse in his former life, he's very timid around strangers. Fortunately, he's small, so I can hold him when he gets really nervous out in public. He's okay being petted when I'm holding him and petting him at the same time. He's getting better, but will probably never be totally comfortable around strangers. I don't worry about it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,215 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Yeah, strangers. Ignore them. BTW, friends of ours had a Terv and Groenendael, unfortunately both passed in the last year or two; wonderful dogs!
After having a Belgian, I don't think I could have any other. Curious(and off subject), your profile name "Inked" because you have tats?

I haven't dealt with it much because I haven't had a dog like this before and I haven't had her long (7months). Still catches me off guard! Guess I should get used to it :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,240 Posts
I took my dog to the Redbox outside the Walmart I work at a couple weeks ago and as usual she shied away from my coworker who tried to pet her. When I went to work the next day my coworker kept asking why my dog is so shy and if I abuse her...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
109 Posts
I deal with the same thing. I actually just got the "You should socialize him more" line this past weekend.

For the most part it seems people are just trying to give advice. But a lot of times they still end up coming off as condescending and out of line. I do my best to not get offended though. Most people don't put much effort into training/socializing their dogs. And these people (making the comments) have no way of knowing that I do not fall into that category.

Still, giving unsolicited advise or comments on other people's dogs is not something I personally would do. If it's not a case of blatant neglect or abuse, then it's between the dog and the owner IMO. Also, dogs can have very varied personalities just as humans do. Some people seem to not understand that and think every dog should act just like their dog.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,435 Posts
Another customer said "maybe if you got out more your dog would get more experience and wouldn't be like that"
Well, since you were out in public when they said that, that makes it an even more stupid remark!

I have a nervous dog, too. Everyone wants to pat him because he's an 18lb husky, and I have to say no to most people, especially kids. Sometimes people get offended -- I was at a parade the other day and a woman there told me she "couldn't believe" he wasn't friendly because "huskies are friendly." She glared at me while she said it; I'm pretty sure she thought Casper was a typical friendly husky and I was the jerk. ;) I don't let it bother me... aside from the mild annoyance at the fact that so many people seem to think they have the right to touch every dog they see in public.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,074 Posts
I deal with this often. Many of mine don't care for attention from strangers. I even had the instructors of the CGC tell me I should let some kids come up and pet one while doing our testing, when she clearly was not comfortable with them lol.

I also take in several dogs that bite. When ready, we go into public, though still calm environments, and I often get bad looks when I tell people no they can't pet the dog. I have yet to have an accidental bite though.

Even some dogs that are perfectly normal and safe, don't like to be petted.
Izze was like your girl, she wasnt anxious persay, just not a touchy feely girl, heck she was not touchy feeling with me & i was her mom, the person who she had known since the age of 6 weeks & i had to bribe her when i wanted to love on her LOL (purely fotr me not for her, hey the primate in me needs to be nurtured too you know :9. if someone she didnt know would talk to her she was like "screw you" & come back to my side, she was just like that, & i got a lot of 'you should socialize her more' & 'she;s anticocial' comments; i wouls always say 'she's not antisocial, she just doesnt want to talk to YOU' LMBO. Josefina used to be friendly, but now she likes to check ppl out, but if they try & pet her she pulls away & i have gotten comments like 'is she abused?' no, she was just raised by a respectful owner who doesnt grab for her ramdomly :rolleyes:

Now Buddy is a ddifferent story entirely, , he is hopelessly friendly & loves everyone he meets. but even if a dog is friendly it doesnt give t\some random person the right to harass him/her also as it is MY dog, friendly or not (i usually say no anyway unless my dog says yes... i am good at reading my dogs & if i dont feel good about the person situation then i will say no... period) i mean it IS a free country, i DO have the right to say no to someone who just wants to pet my dog for the sake of it -_-*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,186 Posts
Not all dogs are Golden Retrievers! For many breeds, wariness of strangers is a desired breed trait. Why do people expect every dog to be a well adjusted Golden Retriever?

Plus, how are you supposed to socialize your dog without socializing your dog? It was embarrassing to train Muggsy to behave on a leash because invariably someone would pass by and lecture me on why my dog was acting poorly (my fault) and how to fix it (usually involved a choke chain.) Um, hello, I know he's acting poorly, but dog aggression is genetic and the dog had a scar on his neck from a choke chain when I got him.

That's another thing, you don't know whose dog is a rescue and how recently they were rescued and what they endured prior to rescue. So before you judge someone for their scarred up, skittish dog, maybe you should find out the back story first. (I'm not going to say "mind your own business" as a blanket statement, because people should step in if a dog is being abused. But make sure that's the case first.)

People!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,931 Posts
After having a Belgian, I don't think I could have any other. Curious(and off subject), your profile name "Inked" because you have tats?

I haven't dealt with it much because I haven't had a dog like this before and I haven't had her long (7months). Still catches me off guard! Guess I should get used to it :)
My friends now have a Picardy shepherd. Yep, I have a few tattoos, well, maybe more than a few, 30 + LOL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,074 Posts
i wish i could have 30 + but fiancee says hail no :/ he says i can have a few more but thats it, LOL LOL. yeah i hate how ppl think every dog should be friendly, as the owner of a breed who isnt considered as a normally overly friendly breed (tolorant would be more acurate) tho some are friendly, most are as a rule not, its the dingo in them i guess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
I think the people are right. Just like when we see a kid hide behind his mother we lecture the mom on her child rearing techniques. (to be clear that was sarcastic)

although i have seen some kids I might be in favor of the parents putting a choke chain on. lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,931 Posts
i wish i could have 30 + but fiancee says hail no :/ he says i can have a few more but thats it, LOL LOL. yeah i hate how ppl think every dog should be friendly, as the owner of a breed who isnt considered as a normally overly friendly breed (tolorant would be more acurate) tho some are friendly, most are as a rule not, its the dingo in them i guess.
you'll have to forgive me if I sound like a jerk but it's YOUR body, not your fiancees. I've been married for 30yrs and my husband would never tell me what I can or cannot do, in regards to anything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
509 Posts
Your dogs are gorgeous :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
126 Posts
I went through this all the time with my chow, Tippsy. She LOVED to go out in public, but the instant anyone want to give her attention she shied away and would hide behind me. It ALWAYS irritated me to hear "you should socialize her more" or "she's antisocial". Uh, no. Chows are naturally weary of strangers.

I get it about my pom now too... Well, duh he's weary of people, he was abused. But the people who irk me more are the parents who tell me I don't need to tell their kids that they can't pet Todd... I mean really? He's MY dog and afraid of children.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,552 Posts
Personally, yes, people think if your dog isn't "oh my gosh so friendly" there's something not quite right. Luke is a barker sometimes and tends to bark at people coming towards us, people stray away or give him a funny look. Or he's not that enthusiastic if you go to pet him directly on his head, he backs up. I tell people to first pet him under the chin, you can see their mind at work, "This is a funky dog, why do I have to do it this way? Oh well...." Then, "Oh he's fine now."

People are just weird. They expect all dogs to be friendly and if not there's something wrong with the dog and it's the owner's fault somehow (some dogs are just wary of strangers), when it could just be like your situation, your dog is anxious and takes time to warm up to people. If people took the time to figure out and listen as to why a dog is like that, perhaps they would have less to say. Don't let it bug you, people are sometimes ignorant like that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,074 Posts
I went through this all the time with my chow, Tippsy. She LOVED to go out in public, but the instant anyone want to give her attention she shied away and would hide behind me. It ALWAYS irritated me to hear "you should socialize her more" or "she's antisocial". Uh, no. Chows are naturally weary of strangers.

I get it about my pom now too... Well, duh he's weary of people, he was abused. But the people who irk me more are the parents who tell me I don't need to tell their kids that they can't pet Todd... I mean really? He's MY dog and afraid of children.
Ohhhh dont even get me started on that one I can't tell you how many times I had gotten the tenth degree from a stupid mom with a bratty little monster throwing a tantrum because they couldn't pet MY dog! Well too bad lady, I don't want your kids grabby little monster hands on my dog thanks :/
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,849 Posts
I don't take Esther into pet shops. I'd sooner take a bull into a china shop.

One of the joys of reaching my age (and there aren't actually that many of them) is you get very good at ignoring unsolicited advice. I certainly wouldn't let it influence where I go and whether I stay there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,459 Posts
A neighbor recently told me I had to get Buffy out more. He lives in the house behind me and she spent a good 20 minutes barking herself hoarse at him. The thing is, Buffy is one of the friendliest dogs I've met. She's also been socialized like crazy - she started with puppy kindergarden, goes on walks with a group of people/dogs a few times a week, occasionally goes to daycare and pretty much has always been in some kind of class or another. I don't think I could get her out much more. She pretty much flops over and starts happy wiggling whenever she meets anyone new - she just can be territorial around the house. And I don't think that's bad at all. Your dog barking at strangers is a good thing when you're a single woman living alone.

Now, I wish she'd accept the command "enough" sooner than she does, but that's about it. She's fine once I let someone in the house. And, she eventually learned to accept the neighbor working out back.
 
1 - 20 of 41 Posts
Top