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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Today is my first day without him and it's so hard. He was so much a part of my life, whether it was good or bad, and I miss him so much. The first time I had to go home where he wasn't there, but his sister was. Not using his dog dish anymore, and just filling hers. Having her look for him... me looking for him, waiting for me at the bottom of the steps, following me if I leave his sight. Bringing his dog collar home, and thinking of how I used to have to get him to move away from the woodstove so I could open the door to stoke the fire. Everytime I looked at him, he was already looking at me. He would sit by my side to get petted, or if I was working too much, he would bump my arm so I couldn't use the computer. Does it get better? Everywhere I turn, I think he's there, and everything is a reminder that he's not.
 

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It does get better eventually. I felt the same way when we had to put our 17 year old dog down this summer. Just take your time to grieve. It will get better some day.
 

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It's always hard to lose a dog, they're members of our families. Please make a memorial for him in the "Rainbow Bridge" section.

(((HUGS)))
 

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I'm so sorry:(

It does get easier eventually but it does take time. We had to put my childhood dog down 3 years ago and I still miss her. The hardest time for me was the first week. After that I made myself go out and do more which helped. This is the time I also read Marley and Me and it helped me through things and got me thinking of the good times I had with Minnie.

Just take your time and allow yourself to grieve. Dogs are some of the most wonderful friends you can have.
 

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(((hugs)))) so sorry. Give yourself time to grieve. Remember all the good times. I put a photo collage together of my 2 dogs after the last one was pts. Loosing the first was hard, but loosing the second a year later was unbearable. The house was totally empty. But having the photos up helped me. I've got pics of my Charlie dog in front of me now. And pics of the 2 dogs are on our fridge even though they passed 4 and 3 yrs ago.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for the messages everyone. It's still so shocking, it just takes my breath away. I dread all the small things, like today. I know he won't be there waiting for me, but all the same, I'm dreading going home to have it hit me when I don't see him sitting there. I was thinking of putting together a shadowbox with his collar and paw print..and photo collage. I was wondering if this was going to make it worse for myself, or better. I wanted to blow up a nice picture of him and frame it too. Oh...there just isn't any way to prepare for this. I wanted to put a picture of him up here but it won't allow me bc the pic is too big I guess.
 

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My heart breaks for you, My deepest condolences for sure. So sorry :(. I wil say yes time does heal pain but sometimes it takes a while but I promise yuo that it will get easier. The one thing that has always helped me get through losing a pet was believing that death is not a good bye because it is really a see ya later.

I was thinking, is there anyone who you have who can put all his stuff away so you do not have to see it? while they do that for you, maybe you can go out for a coffee and have a good heart to heart talk with your friend about your loss.

Again, I am so sorry.
 

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I'm so sorry :( When I put Carter down, it felt like the world crashed around me. I still cry when I think about him and the pain is still a lot, but thankfully I recived the best gift of all, my Nubs. Because of him I was able to heal a lot faster, and while that wound hurts even 2 years later, it does get easier in time.

I'm so sorry for you and your family. *hugs* from one pet lover to another. it's hard but it does get better.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I was wondering..did everyone choose to be there when they put their dog to sleep? With Murphy...he was so excited to go for a ride, and still was excited in the room. And I wanted to be there, but I can't get the images out of my head. They sedated him to get him to sleep, but it didn't seem like he was really sleepy. The vet said he thought he used enough sedative. His eyes were still open, he still was swallowing occasionally. And he didn't have enough strength to pull his tongue back in because he would lick his lips and his tongue would get stuck. I helped him. Held his head in my lap when the sedative was taking effect, and then the vet adminstered the final dose. I had to get up and lay his head down....and it was pretty hard to see him laying there...So then, as you can see from my other posts...I've been having a hard time at home without him. And then I have these memories of putting him down. I wanted to be there though..I wanted him to hear my voice in his last moments. For anyone that was present....do they have this problem? How do you deal with it?
 

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Yes I was in the room with Carter when they put him down. Carter was happy-go-lucky and even the Vet tech started in on me for putting down a "Happy" dog. It's a long story behind it and the vet already knew behind what we were doing and told the vet tech off.

Anyways...

Before they gave him any injections, they told me that there could be some reactions to the shots. Some dogs will scream like they are in pain, but not to worry they really aren't they are just scared. Some will just stand there, some will end up pooping on themselves, and so forth. So do not be scared or upset if he didn't just lay right down and go to sleep.

But we were lucky with Carter He just layed right in the Vets lap and fell asleep. Hardest thing I have ever had to do and hardest thing to watch. I never regret staying with him ,even though the memories of that day are still as fresh as ever. I'm sorry your experence wasn't like mine, but yes sometimes things don't go just as planned. I'm again sorry for your loss.
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
Darkmoon, thanks for your note. I had read that dogs would have different reactions. It was just hard to see him so still, not breathing once the final dose was administered. I can't shake the memory of him when the sedative was taking effect, and his eyes remained open. I closed them..and the vet continued. It was hard to leave him so still, such a magnificent, large dog laying there. I'm still glad I was there, but the memory is painful. This forum is so good to see, everyone's notes have made me feel more that I'm not alone. I realize every pet lover goes through this at some point, but it's so...vivid and painful. I really hate it, I miss him and I want him back. I know it's not realistic, obviously he's gone. He was just a huge part of me.
 

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What a gorgeous dog he was (i'm a fan of GSP and GWP)

My Oreo passed away a year ago in January, it was the hardest thing i think i've ever had to go through. I got her when i was 5 and being an only child she was like a sister to me. She passed away in my arms at home 5 days before my 21st birthday. I too tried to get out a lot (i didn't want to be at home)

2 weeks later we got Zoe, and even though i miss Oreo everyday (her 16ht birthday would of been tomorrow) i thank her for giving me Zoe. Zoe has an energy about her that was similar to Oreo's. Even though Oreo cannot be replaced (i don't think any dog can be) I'm still happy she led me to Zoe, who has really made me happy :)

The vet gave us the rainbow bridge poem along with her ashes (and they even did a pawprint for us) and i put them into a shadow box hanging on the wall (the poem and pawprint and a photo) Things will get better with time :)
 

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He was indeed beautiful and regal. I have been through this a time or two and I know how terribly hard it is and how it leaves such a hole in your heart. It does get better but it is going to take time. I think you should treasure the memories and look at the photos. I think you should let yourself cry and feel all the emotions that are there. That is the only way you will start to heal. You never forget them though and they are always a part of your life. Even when it starts to get better there will be days when you cry again because of some small thing that reminds you. I know it was hard being there but you need to keep in your mind that being there was exactly what he needed from you. You would really regret not being there - not being by his side when he left - believe me you would. Being there is tough, not being there is worse and something you will never forgive yourself for.
 

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He was a beautiful dog. I am so very sorry for your loss. I've been there when my dogs have passed and while it is very difficult it has given me peace that their last moments were spent in my loving arms. Things will get better with time. Try to dwell on the happy memories.
 

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Thanks for the messages everyone. It's still so shocking, it just takes my breath away. I dread all the small things, like today. I know he won't be there waiting for me, but all the same, I'm dreading going home to have it hit me when I don't see him sitting there. I was thinking of putting together a shadowbox with his collar and paw print..and photo collage. I was wondering if this was going to make it worse for myself, or better. I wanted to blow up a nice picture of him and frame it too. Oh...there just isn't any way to prepare for this. I wanted to put a picture of him up here but it won't allow me bc the pic is too big I guess.
I am sorry you're dealing with this. It's never easy, but it does get better, and the confusion and sadness you feel now will be replaced with fond memories and laughter at the silly things he used to do.
I've started projects like you've mentioned before, and sometimes I was able to finish, and other times I simply put it in a safe "out of sight" zone until I felt healed enough to finish it. The last pet I lost, I have barely been able to look at his pictures or his urn, so I put his urn in a safe place for now. I simply put his collar on a little stuffed animal that resembles what he looked like, next to a Rainbow Bridge poem so I would "remember".
It might help to start a private online journal and just start writing about his life, what you're feeling now, etc. Mine was full of angry gibberish the night I lost my pet and the last entry was clear and thoughtful, it really helped me get my thoughts in order.
I wish you peace ((hug)))
 

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Darkmoon, thanks for your note. I had read that dogs would have different reactions. It was just hard to see him so still, not breathing once the final dose was administered. I can't shake the memory of him when the sedative was taking effect, and his eyes remained open. I closed them..and the vet continued. It was hard to leave him so still, such a magnificent, large dog laying there. I'm still glad I was there, but the memory is painful. This forum is so good to see, everyone's notes have made me feel more that I'm not alone. I realize every pet lover goes through this at some point, but it's so...vivid and painful. I really hate it, I miss him and I want him back. I know it's not realistic, obviously he's gone. He was just a huge part of me.
Beautiful fella :)
I can still see, feel, and remember many, many animals that I've helped over to the other side. When that final dose takes effect, momentary shock for me is inevitable. I have never had an animal fight or struggle with the euthanasia process; even my old battle-axe cat who fought tooth and nail to stay alive til the her very last day. She went from a cat who bit and clawed the vet to a cat who showed no reaction to the prick of the needle. I think she knew what we were doing, and wanted to be let go, so she didn't fight or struggle.
We recently had to have a very young foster kitten put down, due to an inoperable deformity that was causing his urinary tract to be continuously plugged up. It was a very hard decision, but he got very very sick within hours. I wasn't there (it was my moms foster), but she told me that during his last moments, he was snuggled in the crook of her arm, kneading his paws and purring as loud as he could.
 

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i'm so very sorry for your loss. what a beautiful boy he was and always will be beautiful in your heart.

i was with both of my corgis when they died. maggie, last july, from nasal cancer and simon, last december, from degenerative myelopathy. it was peaceful for both of them, heartbreaking for me but i wanted them to leave with the memory of the love in my eyes.

i hope you will find peace soon and that the happy memories will take the place of this sad time in your life.

((((hugs))))
 
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