Today is my first day without him and it's so hard. He was so much a part of my life, whether it was good or bad, and I miss him so much. The first time I had to go home where he wasn't there, but his sister was. Not using his dog dish anymore, and just filling hers. Having her look for him... me looking for him, waiting for me at the bottom of the steps, following me if I leave his sight. Bringing his dog collar home, and thinking of how I used to have to get him to move away from the woodstove so I could open the door to stoke the fire. Everytime I looked at him, he was already looking at me. He would sit by my side to get petted, or if I was working too much, he would bump my arm so I couldn't use the computer. Does it get better? Everywhere I turn, I think he's there, and everything is a reminder that he's not.