[goldenkitten]

The profile for the dog literally listed: friendly, good in the house, small-fenced in backyard, quiet, easily-trainable and good for city-living. That was exactly what I was looking for in a dog as I work full-time. He was listed as a failed hunter - gun shy - but most likely good with cats. I did a 12 hour road-trip (6 each way) to get the dog and he was friendly and we had a great meeting so I took him home. I've had him 2 weeks. Freddie is the exact opposite of what they listed so I called back and spoke to someone different. I found out:

Freddie was raised in a big open space on a farm - by a man. He only respects men and doesn't like women, only tolerates them. (Guess what? I'm a woman and live with my mom.) He hates the city, the house and the yard. He wants to run-free and he runs to every man he sees. There is no training because he has no respect for me and my yard isn't big enough for him. He isn't quiet and chill like they said. He howls and we're getting complaints and he can't settle because he feels trapped in the house/yard/city. He is out for blood with my cats and nothing distracts him. I think he was used for hunting before.

Freddie needs a new home. He is not happy here and my depression is flaring worse than it ever has before. I don't have the skills to help this dog. He needs an experienced man to take him, or a really strong woman. I'm kind of upset that they let me take him when I obviously don't match with him. I am going crazy. He is going crazy. We're stuck in a horrible situation.

They said I can make the drive back or I can rehome him locally. I'm thinking about rehoming locally so he can find a big farm or something to be happy on. That's what he deserves, because he's such a good dog. I feel like a huge failure

 

[LeoRose]

If he's not a good fit for you, then either return him or re-home him. Whether it was just a breakdown in communication or you were deliberately misled about his temperament, if y'all aren't a good match, then y'all aren't a good match.

A couple of years ago, I adopted my dream dog, a Doberman Pinscher, from my city shelter. Two weeks later, I turned him over to a Doberman rescue because his prey drive toward my cats and bird was above my abilities as a trainer to handle. I was heartbroken, because I had wanted a Dobe for forty years, but handing him over to a rescue was the best option for all of us. .

 

[goldenkitten]

If he's not a good fit for you, then either return him or re-home him. Whether it was just a breakdown in communication or you were deliberately misled about his temperament, if y'all aren't a good match, then y'all aren't a good match.

A couple of years ago, I adopted my dream dog, a Doberman Pinscher, from my city shelter. Two weeks later, I turned him over to a Doberman rescue because his prey drive toward my cats and bird was above my abilities as a trainer to handle. I was heartbroken, because I had wanted a Dobe for forty years, but handing him over to a rescue was the best option for all of us. .

This makes me feel a lot better, thank you. Before I called back to get the scoop, I thought it was just me and I was really beating myself up. Now I know my house/yard/lifestyle and training style doesn't mesh with him. He is such a good dog. Such a good dog. I just want what's best for him.

 

[DaySleepers]

I absolutely agree. I know there's a lot of pressure to keep a dog you've committed to forever, but it's unrealistic and unkind to expect that when it makes both of you miserable. It's hard to say where the communication broke down, but it's absolutely okay to not be willing or able to handle behavior issues, especially when you explicitly tried to avoid them!

Try not to let the guilt get to you. You'll absolutely be doing the right thing by helping this dog get to a better suited home, whether that's rehoming him yourself or returning him to the rescue.

 

[parus]

Not your fault he's not a good fit for your home - while many issues can and should be worked on, this situation (the escaping and the cat issue) is just not safe for him or your other pets. I would return him to the rescue, rather than taking on the challenge of finding a just-right home for him myself, as that could take some time, and you just don't have the setup to securely contain him.

Don't beat yourself up! (I say this as someone who is ordinarily really judgmental about the way people care for their animals, lol - you didn't do anything wrong here and you wouldn't be wrong to return him to a safe place.)