My parents were patient people, Their patience definitely had limits, though. When one of us kids got into a hysterical, tantrum-y crying jag, my dad would say: "You are crying for no reason. Knock it off, or I'll give you a reason." That was the cue to reach down deep and tap that reserve of self control we all possess. Once you stopped crying, calmness returned quickly and everyone was better for it..
I heard this too. 'Quit your crying or I will give you something to cry about.'
It did not reach down and create self control for me. It simply replaced the reason for crying with FEAR OF MY PARENTS. I feared my Father especially for years.. then I hated him for years and then I felt nothing for more years. I made my peace with this and now he has Alzheimers. My sorrow over this extends to my Mother.
So, remember, while something may APPEAR to be self control, it may actually be something a LOT different.
If anyone is wondering, what I did do was, one day, I was putting on my shoes (to go to the grocery store) and Jaia started prancing and vocalizing. I told him, "Quiet" and he stopped for about 2 seconds and started again. I stood up and told him to lie down on his bed. He did. After I sat back down, he started to get up and I went to him and put my hand on him and said, "Down"... very firmly. "STAY". I returned to my seat and started with my shoes and he started to get up (seems he can only scream when he's standing) and I stood up and went to him, put my hand on his back and said, "DOWN"! "You Stay"! I can be very intimidating without raising my voice, but I did raise my voice (not yell) this day. I was just very firm. He stayed. And didn't move until I released him. By that time, he knew we weren't going out because I had my purse, so the excitement died away.?
You did what I was going to suggest. You repalced the beahvior with another one you preferred.. lie down and stay.
The next time I started to put on my shoes, I wondered what I was going to deal with. Well, he left the room and stood just around the corner, quietly, watching me. I could just see his face poking around the corner... He stood there the whole time and that's what he's been doing since then. It's like if he's too close to me, he can't control the excitement, so he has to step around the corner and watch from afar. This is okay with me, but I wonder if he's okay with it. Any input on that?
I would nto allow that either. I would put him in a down and stay and have him do that. I don't believe in giving choices on things like this.
By having him in a down and a stay, you have given him something else to do. It is just NILIF. The reward for the Down and Stay is he gets to go out with you. If he breaks the command, you put him back in it. There is NO SLACK.
The deal is this. If you give a command the dog is to obey the command until he dies or your give another command or until you release him from it. Every command. Every time. You do not let the dog decide or to think (and when I first heard this I thought is was TERRIBLE.. but it is not). Honestly, it works. You do it with every command you give. Dog does not "think" or "anticipate" and act out.
This means lie down is lie down forever or until I say sit or come here or go ahead (my realse words).
Just the entire interaction. It was aversive to him, and it caused the behavior to stop. That's the definition of +P. Something added to the environment that decreases the chance of the behavior being repeated.
It doesn't have to +P. It could have been simple as insisting on the down stay and putting the dog back into the down-stay everytime he got up. It is really NILIF. Dog must be in a down stay to go out with you.
Of course another option is to mix up the routine. Go thru the getting ready and not going out immediately. Getting ready in a different room and not stopping between uncrating the dog and going out the door.. do it all in one smooth motion.
We humans tend to routine our behaviors and as such our pets and animals anticipate what comes next. If we mist it up and do the unexpected all the time.. the animal will not anticipate.
I will make it more simple. If you are training a dressage horse to canter from a walk and you ask for the canter from the walk at Letter A and letter C every time you go around the arena, guess what? Pretty soon the horse will canter from a walk at those places.. and then start doing it early.. every time around the ring. You have to mix it up or you will not have a good test.
If you get your shoes on and get ready to go out the same way every time.. guess what? You have a dog that anticipates and will express that anticipation every time you do those things. So mix it up.
And teach your dog(s) that a command is to be done until another command is given, the dog is released or the dog dies. Every blessed time you ask for a command. Any command.
And when the dog BREAKS the command it is because you have asked for too much too soon in that situation. That is why the mixing it up is good to do as well.
