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Hi, I currently have a 1 year 2 month old GSD. I've always wanted a dog that was my own and especially a GSD! Especially the thought of training a dog to behave impeccably. It was a dream that has been ruined.

It was very hard to being my partner around to the idea of wanting a dog as he's never wanted one, he was happy with the cat, but eventually I managed to twist his arm enough that he agreed to let me have one with certain restrictions on my part. Such as he was my responsibility entirely, he was to be involved in nothing, to which I agreed, I wasn't getting a dog for him, just me.

So I managed to find King, it was a horrible start to owning him, as most puppies do he was crying when left crated at night. My partner was horrible to be around, he threatened many times to get rid of him, because he couldn't handle the crying and him having accidents in the house, the destruction, we were both losing sleep and was hardly talking to each other, which the stress of the situation made me lose a lot of weight and I was hardly eating. There was a lot of stress and animosity in the house, towards each other and King.

We still have situations that cause this, King can't stay calm when people come in to the house, he gets excited and tries jumping up at people and just cries and cries and cries, when he can't get near them. He's still very vocal, which irritates my partner to no end.

But I persevered, and a year later I still have him. My issue is, I don't feel like I have a bond with this dog at all, due to all the stress in the beginning, I think it's damaged our relationship as well as the one with my partner.

Some days I could be really in to playing with King and fussing him and just being a general joy to be around. Other days I just can't stand the sight of him and just want him to leave me alone. I feel like a horrible dog owner and that I don't deserve him at all. And that's a part of my situation, do I keep him and see if we can somehow build a bond? Or just accept that I'm never going to fully appreciate him and give him to a family that will? (my partner pushes this issue)
I feel like I have failed him, as he could have a better family.

Thank you for reading, please no negative comments, only constructive ones, it's a hard enough situation as it is.
 

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Hi, I currently have a 1 year 2 month old GSD. I've always wanted a dog that was my own and especially a GSD! Especially the thought of training a dog to behave impeccably. It was a dream that has been ruined.

It was very hard to being my partner around to the idea of wanting a dog as he's never wanted one, he was happy with the cat, but eventually I managed to twist his arm enough that he agreed to let me have one with certain restrictions on my part. Such as he was my responsibility entirely, he was to be involved in nothing, to which I agreed, I wasn't getting a dog for him, just me.

So I managed to find King, it was a horrible start to owning him, as most puppies do he was crying when left crated at night. My partner was horrible to be around, he threatened many times to get rid of him, because he couldn't handle the crying and him having accidents in the house, the destruction, we were both losing sleep and was hardly talking to each other, which the stress of the situation made me lose a lot of weight and I was hardly eating. There was a lot of stress and animosity in the house, towards each other and King.

We still have situations that cause this, King can't stay calm when people come in to the house, he gets excited and tries jumping up at people and just cries and cries and cries, when he can't get near them. He's still very vocal, which irritates my partner to no end.

But I persevered, and a year later I still have him. My issue is, I don't feel like I have a bond with this dog at all, due to all the stress in the beginning, I think it's damaged our relationship as well as the one with my partner.

Some days I could be really in to playing with King and fussing him and just being a general joy to be around. Other days I just can't stand the sight of him and just want him to leave me alone. I feel like a horrible dog owner and that I don't deserve him at all. And that's a part of my situation, do I keep him and see if we can somehow build a bond? Or just accept that I'm never going to fully appreciate him and give him to a family that will? (my partner pushes this issue)
I feel like I have failed him, as he could have a better family.

Thank you for reading, please no negative comments, only constructive ones, it's a hard enough situation as it is.
This is currently happening to me sadly, I've always wanted a puppy for 8 years. Then when I finally get one he cries like bloody murder. I'm so stressed out I have no idea what to do anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thank you both.
I'll have a look at the link and see what other methods I can try.
I just want it to work with both my partner and King. I've had him since he was 8 weeks old and his crying is the worst part. Even if it's him only expressing himself. When you get to the point where you think the TV from upstairs and the birds outside are him crying, it's a bit much.
I do feel like we've tried everything, ignoring him (more me than my partner, as he has very little patience), giving him a time out, closing the door, telling him to be quiet.
I'm glad you can relate, as I feel slightly better knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way.
 

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Reality is always different than expectations, unfortunately. The puppy stage is HARD (we put a crate in our room for our last puppy and she never cried, for what it's worth) and young dogs can be a handful. I would find a trainer to teach you some 'coping mechanisms' to deal with the crying. Unfortunately though, dogs are harder to train when you have little patience - the best trainers I've met are very calm and patient people (not judging, it's an issue here too, especially with my husband). You pretty much have to be consistent and use a firm, calm voice (not yelling) when dealing with them.

About the bonding, I feel bad saying that, but in my experience, there's just some dogs I bond with and others I don't. If you don't feel bonded to him now, I'm not sure it's going to magically change when he gets older. So maybe rehoming him would be for the best. Also, dogs are pretty hard to impose on someone who doesn't like them too, as it's not exactly the type of pet you can just ignore and 'let someone else take care of it'... especially puppies.
 

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Hi! I am new to this site. Reading your message made me feel sad. I really feel your pain as i had a similar experience. I wanted a puppy so bad, but when i got it, I felt like it was more than I could handle. It was mostly related to the health issues, though, that he had post surgery on. Constantly cleaning his vomit with no end in sight was no fun. I think it affected my bond with him too. I know how hard it is to make a decision to give your dog away as most people think it's a sin. I personally think it is a sin to shame someone without being in her/his shoes. As other members mentioned, if you are diligent about finding him a good new home, it might be for the best. It's off topic, but you know how some couples do not get divorced "for the sake of their children", but are constantly at each other throats letting their kids to witness the fighting. They are really doing it for their own sake. It is not fair for the kids, who end up in therapy later on "because mommy killed the daddy". Sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Do not let anyone make you feel bad. You are doing your best, and it all that matters.
 

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What you went/are going through is really, really normal. Puppies are really kind of terrible, especially GSDs! It's even harder when its your first dog. Jumping up on people and being a general butt is really, super normal for a 1 year old puppy. At 1 year old, you're probably past the very worst of it, but they are kind of pains until 2-3 years old...they're just giant, immature puppies. And yeah, sometimes you just want them to go away for a while (and you can make that happen with a crate or a trip to doggy daycare once in a while!)

One thing I would suggest is taking obedience classes with a force free, rewards based trainer. This can help improve your relationship with your dog and teach you some ways to train appropriate, basic obedience behaviors, like greeting people with all four feet on the ground. YouTube videos (Zak George and Kikopup are ones that I liked) are also great places to learn some basic house manners type of things.

That being said, having a partner who isn't really in to the whole dog thing and is pushing you to rehome the dog complicates things. It's easy to train a dog...not so much for humans. Hopefully if you can get some better manners on board, your partner will be more accepting of the dog.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thank you for all your comments and thoughts.
I'm going to take him to obedience classes and see if we can sort out a few of his behaviours. If we haven't bonded and shown no more improvements from that, then I will do what's best for him and find him a more deserving home.
 
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