There is NO SHAME in giving up a dog. NONE.
I think your issues go FAR deeper than may be advised online. I will try but Dogs are dogs. They are not hard headed.
Love is not all a dog needs. A dog also needs boundaries and structure and very clear handling. Some dogs and some owners never work out well together.
The two issues you bring up (housebreaking and crate behavior) coupled with destruction of the house tell me this puppy has had too much freedom. This puppy can have NO freedom. If the puppy has no access to carpet she could not pee and poop on the carpet. Just an example. If she has no access to shoes, electronics and furniture, she cannot destroy those things.
As to the crate, you can access Crate Games on line and see if you can teach her that the crate is a good place. Honestly? If I was going to work I would confine the puppy to a crate in a room (like the bathroom) and shut the door and go to work. I would try to get back before 8 hours has passed to get the puppy out to pee/poop and then back in the crate. Screaming? Too bad. Leave. ONLY let the puppy out when she is SILENT. You can also go back and give her a treat for silence and LEAVE. Most crate training issues are owner issues. Do you take a Kong, fill it with her food mixed with frozen plain yogurt and put that in the crate with her when you leave? How about buying a raw meaty bone and putting it in there with her and leaving? Have you fed her in the crate away from you and the other dog? Those are all things to do.
To train you must SEPARATE the two dogs MOST of the time. It is a LOT MORE WORK but your puppy probably has already bonded more to the other dog than to you. You have to train the puppy separate from the other dog. At this stage I would not even let the two dogs together at all. Not. At. All. The puppy needs to bond to you and not to the other dog (probably already has) and now you need to break that bond and redirect it to you.
From the sounds of this your puppy is pretty normal for a puppy and not every puppy is easy. I will say that her destructiveness is due to too much freedom and not enough watching her and keeping her away from things she should not have and away from areas she cannot be allowed to be in. Her training issues stem from too much time with the other dog and, I suspect (could be wrong) insufficient one on one training of just her with the other dog completely away from her.
You say you cannot afford a professional trainer. I am a bit confused as it seems you could afford large vet bills and damage recovery bills for your home? A bit of training help would have cost a lot less.
I think your issues go FAR deeper than may be advised online. I will try but Dogs are dogs. They are not hard headed.
Love is not all a dog needs. A dog also needs boundaries and structure and very clear handling. Some dogs and some owners never work out well together.
The two issues you bring up (housebreaking and crate behavior) coupled with destruction of the house tell me this puppy has had too much freedom. This puppy can have NO freedom. If the puppy has no access to carpet she could not pee and poop on the carpet. Just an example. If she has no access to shoes, electronics and furniture, she cannot destroy those things.
As to the crate, you can access Crate Games on line and see if you can teach her that the crate is a good place. Honestly? If I was going to work I would confine the puppy to a crate in a room (like the bathroom) and shut the door and go to work. I would try to get back before 8 hours has passed to get the puppy out to pee/poop and then back in the crate. Screaming? Too bad. Leave. ONLY let the puppy out when she is SILENT. You can also go back and give her a treat for silence and LEAVE. Most crate training issues are owner issues. Do you take a Kong, fill it with her food mixed with frozen plain yogurt and put that in the crate with her when you leave? How about buying a raw meaty bone and putting it in there with her and leaving? Have you fed her in the crate away from you and the other dog? Those are all things to do.
To train you must SEPARATE the two dogs MOST of the time. It is a LOT MORE WORK but your puppy probably has already bonded more to the other dog than to you. You have to train the puppy separate from the other dog. At this stage I would not even let the two dogs together at all. Not. At. All. The puppy needs to bond to you and not to the other dog (probably already has) and now you need to break that bond and redirect it to you.
From the sounds of this your puppy is pretty normal for a puppy and not every puppy is easy. I will say that her destructiveness is due to too much freedom and not enough watching her and keeping her away from things she should not have and away from areas she cannot be allowed to be in. Her training issues stem from too much time with the other dog and, I suspect (could be wrong) insufficient one on one training of just her with the other dog completely away from her.
You say you cannot afford a professional trainer. I am a bit confused as it seems you could afford large vet bills and damage recovery bills for your home? A bit of training help would have cost a lot less.