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Hey Guys,
Don't know if you guys remember me but I posted a lot when my spoo, Buddy, had bladder stone surgery last year. I'd posted on and off before then but really received a lot of support around his surgery. He recovered well from that but unfortunately we had to put him to sleep today.

Buddy had been acting kind of off for the past few weeks, kind of sluggish, not really wanting to jump on things, kind of klutzy and would stumble like he didn't want to pick up his feet. I took him into the vet last week to find out if something was going on or if he was just getting old (he was 11). The vet was most concerned for Addison's, he said it can sometimes present like this. So he ran blood tests. The tests that would indicate Addison's (something in his electrolytes) came back fine but he was slightly anemic. My vet wanted to see us back in 1 week to recheck his blood levels to make sure the anemia was getting better.

Tuesday evening we took him in for the blood tests and Wednesday the vet called to say that he was more anemic and needed to come in for more tests to ID the source of bleeding. I was sleeping because I worked a nightshift last night so I didn't know this was happening. My parents took him in. Turns out he had a tumor on his spleen that was causing bleeding. The vet said that he had an 85% chance of the tumor being malignant and that if it was malignant best cause scenario would be that it was just in the spleen. If it had metastasized (especially to the liver) things wouldn't be good. My vet knows that I'm a nurse so told my parents to tell me that I was welcome to join him in the OR.

Today we took Buddy in for his surgery (to remove the spleen and tumor). My vet was great, let me come to the OR, went over things with me, explained again that it might be bad once he got in there. So he opened Buddy up and suctioned out about a liter of blood from his abdomen. At that point he took his spleen out and it was covered in growths but Doc couldn't see a source of bleeding from the spleen, which concerned him. He investigated deeper into Buddy's abdomen and found that the bleeding was coming from his liver, which was covered in more tumors.

So at that point he turned to me and told me it wasn't good and that he couldn't do anything surgically for this (obviously you can't remove a liver like you can a spleen). So he told me I had a few choices. 1) Close Buddy up and take him home, he would probably die (a not so comfortable death) in a week's time. 2) Close him up, wake him up and then put him to sleep. Or 3) Put him to sleep in the OR while he was still under general anesthesia. Originally I wanted to close him up, wake him up and then put him to sleep but after talking to my Mom and thinking it over for a minute I decided I didn't want Buddy to wake up in pain. That it was selfish on my part to want that. So we opted for number 3. I stood by his head while they injected him with the meds and kissed him and loved on him.

I'm going to be honest, I'm not coping well. I'm so sad and heartbroken. He should be laying on my bed with me right now. He was the sweetest, most wonderful dog. He was my baby for the last 11 years and I'm so sad without him. I thought we'd have a few more years together. And even going into this surgery, knowing the odds weren't great, I thought we'd come out with a 6 month prognosis. I wasn't completely prepared to lose him today.

Anyway, I just had to share with other dog people. I know y'all will understand. Thanks for reading.

I attached a couple of pics of my boy, some of my faves. Love you Buddy.




buddybed.jpg

buddyyard2.jpg

buddynose.jpg

buddyyard.jpg

buddychair.jpg

buddyrun.jpg
 

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What TWAB said. You did the very best you could for Buddy. He was such a handsome boy and will be greatly missed. I remember your posts about him and my heart sunk when I saw this thread was from you. Run free sweet Buddy, I hope you are playing with my boy Jack right now.
 

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I am so very sorry for your loss. You are a wonderful owner for not being selfish and doing what was best for your Buddy. He is beautiful. He will be waiting for you on the other side ... this I firmly believe.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. Your family did everything possible. It sounds like your dog had a really, really good life and recieved the very best.

The initial loss can knock the wind out of you. It does loosen it's stranglehold. I bought a bracelet that made me think of my dog and wore it for months. Being able to touch it and see it for some reason comforted me. So did framing a fantastic photo of her. I put her ashes beside the photo in my bedroom. Later, I put the ashes behind the photo. Making a donation to a rescue in her name helped too.

The pain fades, but the missing is forever.

Thinking of you.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog 2 months ago and I was a mess for weeks. For the first week, I burst into tears as soon as I came home from work because there was no dog thrilled to see me. It's normal to be that way. It does get better with time.
 

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Oh, that is so sad. I would be gutted as well. It does sound like you did the best thing for him. You spared him further pain and released him into a better place and I think it was very noble of you to have wanted to end his physical pain even though it cost you emotional pain.

Good for you and very selfless of you. I do believe that this is one of the greatest gifts we can give our much-loved dogs. Let them go when it is their time, instead of trying to hold on to them uselessly when they are clearly in pain and suffering.

I hope that I can be as strong and brave when my own dog's time comes ...
 

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Oh gosh, so very sorry to hear this news. Your poor little guy. Thankfully you took him to the vet so his suffering was not prolonged.
 

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I lost my Valen unexpectedly in October, and I know how hard it is to have your best friend suddenly disappear. I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said, I don't know if I could have made the selfless decision you did. Buddy was clearly loved and I'm sure he knew it.

*hugs*
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss :( It sounds like Buddy had an amazing life full of enough love for many, many pups! He was so lucky to have you, and I'm so glad that his passing was peaceful and painless.
 

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Thank you so much for all the kind words and the support. Today's a little better but I woke up crying. Every time I hear a door hinge squeak I think it's going to be Buddy nosing his way into a room. My parents already have me on the hunt for a new standard poodle. The house just feels too empty without the jingle of dog tags. Buddy can't be replaced but hopefully a new little guy will help us heal.
Thanks again!
 

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My condolences. I felt very touched reading this, because my own dog underwent surgery last week. He had tumors on his spleen as well, but my dog was actually bleeding from his spleen and nothing else. It was removed and according to my vet, she didn't find anything odd on other organs. She still sent some samples up to the lab, so they'd check whether the cancerous cells were malignant or not.

It's so strange, my dog showed the same signs your dog did, but with Charlie it happened within a day, so that made the difference in behavior all the more apparent. My vet said we were lucky to be there when we were. If we had waited for another day, or perhaps some more hours, our Charlie would have bled to death. Entire tummy was full of blood... So close to losing him.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you don't let the way he died get to you; you did what was right, choosing a peaceful quiet death for him, rather than letting him be in pain again. It's a decision I respect. Cherish the wonderful memories you have with him, and he'll live on in you.
 

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I so wish that dog lifespans were more attuned to human lifespans. About a hundred years, give or take, for a dog would be agreeable to me. Then we would be somewhat spared from grieving over the loss of our canine loves.

But on the other hand, our dogs might be grieving over us if we perished before they did (I'm looking at Hachi here) and find themselves sitting futilely by the door/gate/train station waiting for their human who is never going to return.

Too sad ... I am almost making myself cry just thinking of it. With regard to Plume, I sometimes hope she goes before I do, so that the one who would have to bear the brunt of the broken heart would be me, as opposed to her. Were I to exit life before her, I would just hate to imagine her distress. And distressed she would be ...

I'm being rather morbid here and for no good reason, really. Plume is fine and so am I for the most part.

It's just kind of a rotten break that dogs and humans have such different lifespans.
 
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