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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i just adopted a dog last week. it feels kinda stressful. when i am home, it is constantly on my mind if it is out of my sight.

even though i realize that it is not a child, but it is a living thing. it is not like a refrigerator that i can't forget about once i am out of the house.

i know that it takes time to get settle down, but plenty of people have given up their dogs. i am thinking about doing it myself, although i am not 100% sure at this moment.

so i wonder for all those who have given up your dogs, why did you do it?
 

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You just adopted a dog a week ago and are already thinking of taking it to a shelter?

Where did you adopt the dog from? Most rescue organizations, if you went that route, will want you to return the dog to them if you cannot keep it. I would think MOST people would rather you return the dog to where you got it, than take it to a shelter.

Please be aware that in this economy, taking your dog to a shelter to "find a new home" is basically a death sentence. VERY few dogs make it out of shelters these days. There are just too many pets and not enough qualified homes.

Please give your dog more time - a week is not very long, and if you are having specific problems, you can post on this forum for questions or do a forum search.
 

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You'll be okay. Give it time. If you are worried about the dog while you aren't watching, keep him crated or in a small room like a bathroom where he can't get hurt.

I agree with nekomi -- if you are having specific problems, there are people out there who can help. Seems like you're just feeling unsure of your abilities as a dog owner though. Don't worry -- I'm sure you're doing fine. :)
 

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It is stressful getting used to a new living being in the home and getting used to a new routine. I feel the same way every time we pet sit a dog. That is NO reason to return your dog to the shelter, however. It will definitally get better, and most problems can be fixed by simple training or exercise. When Chloe was a puppy I couldn't leave her alone for a minute - a puppy proof area solved all of my problems! :)

That being said, I have never given up an animal to a shelter. Even if I no longer could care for any of my animals, I would not just take them and dump them off at a shelter. I would either try to place them in a rescue or rehome them myself.

The only animal we have ever rehomed was the tortiose I had when I was around six years old. I was having trouble caring for it all on my own and I felt bad that I kept forgetting to feed her or clean her cage. I told my mom that I wanted to find Toby a new home, because I felt bad for her. We ended up giving her to my cousin. They kept her in an outdoor enclosure and she was a HAPPY tortiose. Sadly, she escaped one day and they never found her.
 

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We have taken in a couple of dogs to our shelter. This was years ago, before we really knew anything about dogs. And if I had the same dogs today, I would know how to get a handle on them and they wouldn't go through a shelter should I have had to rehome them.

What's done is done, though. I won't cry about water under the bridge.

I'd give the dog more time. It took one of mine a good year to settle in perfectly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Please be aware that in this economy, taking your dog to a shelter to "find a new home" is basically a death sentence. VERY few dogs make it out of shelters these days. There are just too many pets and not enough qualified homes.
i got it from a local shelter. and actually that shelter is very popular. one time, there was a dog that 10 people put their names on the drawing list! so if i give it back, i know someone will adopt it soon. that is no problem.

it took me about a month to finally to pick this dog. i consider myself a dog lover, but i totally didn't expect it to be so time consuming. and i totally get a little stressed over this. i didn't have that feeling of "oh my god, i finally got a dog, i am so happy now."
 

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i didn't have that feeling of "oh my god, i finally got a dog, i am so happy now."


Owning a dog is a commitment. It's like a marriage, NEVER go by feelings. The 'good' feeling will burn out after a while. You go by what's right.

I've rehomed dogs and I'll do so again in the future. Since as a breeder I can't keep everyone, however it's not easy and the choice is carefully made.
 

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i got it from a local shelter. and actually that shelter is very popular. one time, there was a dog that 10 people put their names on the drawing list! so if i give it back, i know someone will adopt it soon. that is no problem.

it took me about a month to finally to pick this dog. i consider myself a dog lover, but i totally didn't expect it to be so time consuming. and i totally get a little stressed over this. i didn't have that feeling of "oh my god, i finally got a dog, i am so happy now."
Just because that one dog had 10 people trying to get it, doesn't mean yours will have a list of people waiting for him too, not to mention, that was then, this is now... Just think how worried you are when you leave your dog home alone? Imagine how much you're going to worry while he is sitting at the shelter, not knowing why he got rejected? Possibly being euthanized because noone else ended up wanting him. Personally, that would rip me apart inside.

As for not having the 'oh my god, i finally got a dog, i am so happy now.'... I didn't have it either, I'm just not that kind of person. The first week was hell, I was constantly worried about him getting into things or making messes. I even regretted getting him for a while. We all ended up adjusting, and now things are alot better. Get a crate as someone else suggested, then you know he is sleeping safely when you're gone, and when you're home you can have baby gate's setup to block him out of areas where he can get into something you don't want him to.

It will get better, just give it time... just remember it is very traumatic for an animal to be returned, and most shelters I know are against someone returning a dog for the reasons you've listed above. My local shelter has a policy that if the dog is returned for reasons other then what they list as 'acceptable', they keep your money. I just hope you end up changing your mind, I mean, it took you a month to pick out the dog, and you've only given it a week.

Sorry for rambling.
 

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What exactly is time consuming?

There is always the option of doggy daycare or hiring a trusted petsitter, if exercise/attention is the problem but you otherwise wish to keep your dog.

By the way, I was terrified when I first brought home Marge. Absolutely terrified. I didn't know if my cat would react well to the dog despite the first test going well. What if her allergies flared up? What if she got jealous? Mind you Marge also had behavior problems that needed sorting out (and problems 10ish months later I am still trying to correct) and it caused some tension in my family. I also held her to the impossible standard of the dog who I REALLY wanted to adopt a few months before. My head was spinning. I called 3 different trainers in but didn't have any of them back more than once. I didn't know what to do for her. I doubted myself. It took me three weeks to finally sign the adoption papers.

But suffice to say Marge and I rolled with it, and I dedicated myself to fixing up her problems. I am a full time college student, both of my parents work, and my sister is a high school student. Marge is alone sometimes for 6ish hours a day, but we still find time for training, exercise, and of course, snuggling. :)
 

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Is this your first dog? Cupid is mine. And confession time: I took him home on a one-week trial, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was sort of prepared for a dog, but I had a huge learning curve. (And still probably do.) Every day I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Wouldn't he be happier with an owner who knew what she was doing? Plus I wasn't used to thinking or worrying about someone when I was away from home.

It got better. One of my best friends is a longtime dog owner, and she helped me through the rough spots. I fell in love with Cue almost immediately. And I came to see that he was happy with me, even if I'm not the most experienced owner. I made the adoption official after five days.

I didn't have that feeling you talk about either. Owning a dog has been a challenge and, on occasion, a hassle. But it's also one of the best things I've ever done. I've discovered a whole new aspect of love.
 

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I have gone through the very same anxiety recently. I am a new owner of a dog that I adopted from a rescue shelter. It is an adjustment for both of us. As of two days ago I was about to give her back thinking that someone else could give her a better quality of life than I could. But, I couldn't imagine not having her to come home to each day! I would LOVE to put her in doggie daycare, but can't afford it at the time. So I do what I can and she and I are both becoming more comfortable.

I second the crate method!! It is a life saver! She is in there during the day when I am at work. When I am at home she is outside in the fenced in yard or playing inside the house where I can see her. If I need to take a break from supervising her or need to do something else (i.e. give my daughter a bath), I put Ketura in her crate until I can supervise again.

Give it time. I think you'll appreciate the fact that you did :)
 

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Owning a dog is a commitment. It's like a marriage, NEVER go by feelings. The 'good' feeling will burn out after a while. You go by what's right.
WELL SAID!!!!!!!! PLEASE don't take your dog to a shelter. Please. Instead, get a book like Ian Dunbar's "After You Get Your Puppy" and read it... the light bulb will go off and you will know how to give your puppy what it needs. You AND your puppy will be soooo much happier with a little education.

Also be sure to read the pinned threads here if you haven't already.

BTW, many parents of human children feel frustrated and above their heads the first few weeks. The first couple of weeks can be the most stressful but if you stick with it and do the right things (like in the pinned threads or a good puppy training book) you will bond with your puppy, fall completely in love and before you know it you won't be able to imagine life without him or her!
 

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I seriously think the shelter made a mistake of letting you adopt the dog. Its only been a week and you are already giving up. YOU ARE NOT PREPARED for the responsibility. Next time, please look back at this experience before even thinking about getting a dog. :(
 

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I seriously think the shelter made a mistake of letting you adopt the dog. Its only been a week and you are already giving up. YOU ARE NOT PREPARED for the responsibility. Next time, please look back at this experience before even thinking about getting a dog. :(
Oh pooh, a lot of people go through a time like that after getting a dog. It's either that or thinking about strangling the new puppy after you've picked up the umpteenth 'treasure' he's chewed up. ;-)

I don't sit there and ooh and awe and sigh in happiness each day I live with my dogs. Yes I love them like I would any of my pets, but I don't always "feel" like it. Shoot, there have been some days where a couple of mine have come pretty close to sitting out on the side of the road with a "take me" sign on them. :p

It's the commitment that counts.

It's normal, you just have to keep plugging away. And READ A TON of information.
 

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Oh pooh, a lot of people go through a time like that after getting a dog. It's either that or thinking about strangling the new puppy after you've picked up the umpteenth 'treasure' he's chewed up.

It's normal, you just have to keep plugging away. And READ A TON of information.
I have buckets of respect for you, Mudra, but I have to agree with txcollies on this one. First-time (human) parents often go through loooong adjustment periods... the baby cries for hours non-stop and they start wishing they could shake it to make it stop... new mothers get post-partum depression... most grow beyond that phase, learn what it takes to be a good parent, and everyone benefits. I'd rather educate this frustrated puppy owner than chastise him... with a little training (of both owner and puppy :)), it could be the best thing that ever happened to either of them. I know I wasn't born knowing how to care for a dog, but people can learn how to be wonderful dog owners.
 

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I standby what I said. We all go through it and we suck it up. Maybe if this has been an on-going "stress" that lasted for weeks and weeks, I would have more sympathy. But its only been a week and this guy is already entertaining the thought of bringing the dog to the shelter. Was it just out of whim that HE GOT the dog and didn't really take the time to contemplate whether he has the patience and time for him?

Oh for sure, there are days when we try to make light of a stressful situation and jokingly tell ourselves that we are going to drop them off to the pound, but never will I say it when the reason is because the DOG is time consuming.

If you dont have the time and the patience, let someone who has it have the dog.
 

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My 1st thought on reading his post was, he keeps calling the dog it. To me they are always he or she. We adopted a dog from the pound 3 dogs back. He was 5.5 m/o & used to nip at our heels every time we went outside with him. I used to feel scared to go outside. He eventually got better & became a very loving & loyal pet. I never once thought of taking him back.
 

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When I got Coal I went by the "ooh yay! A puppy!" feeling and about 3 weeks into it I was overloaded with stress and couldn't handle him. I was in highschool at the time too, during that horrible teenage phase where "no one understands you", and that didn't help at all. My mom ended up taking care of Coal for quite some time. It actually took months before it clicked for me and we ended up bonding and forming a routine. And I've been in love with dogs since I was 5 years old. They've been a HUGE part of my life for as long as I can remember.

When I got Linkin I didn't quite have the same intial feeling. He was THE worst dog I've ever encountered. I can't count the number of times I called home crying or was thisclose to phoning the guy I got him from and giving him back. But, like with Coal, we eventually got into a routine, I learned his quirks and habits, I learned what works for him to keep him out of trouble and keep my sanity, and we've bonded incredibly ever since. While I love Coal to pieces, the bond between Link and I is very different. Link is like my velcro dog who's at my side constantly. He's sleeping at my feet as I type this ;) Coal, while he is my dog and I'll take him with me when I move, is more like the 'family dog' and will go to anyone in the house to fullfill his needs. Linkin only seeks out me.

Once you get into the routine and you learn about eachother things go muuuch smoother. The more you educate yourself the better. The more time you spend with the dog and learning about their unique personality the more you learn how to handle them. The more time that goes by and the more "mistakes" you make (like ooops, the dog can't be left alone in the house or he'll EAT the couch... one of many lessons I learned with Linkin) the more you'll learn from these experiences and you'll be able to prevent problems from happening again. Life gets easier the longer your with the dog and the more you learn about them as an individual.

One week is NOT enough time to get to know a dog and develope a routine with it to keep your house and items safe, the dog safe, and your sanity in check! Trust me, if you keep at it and figure out how to make things work (and learn EVERYTHING you can about behavior, obedience etc.) you'll be much happier in the end that you kept the dog. I'm glad I never decided to rehome either of my boys, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Including free time and no responsibility ;)
 

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When I first got my doy i felt the same thing. Rather or not I should give it back to the breeder. But as time went by I adjusted to it and now I don't know what I would do without her. I think you should wait longer before you give it up to the shelter.
 

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BTW, many parents of human children feel frustrated and above their heads the first few weeks.
More like the first few decades. When you die, you can quit worrying whether you screwed up you kid(s).
 
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