I don't see how you could have caused cancer. It is just something that happens. I lost my 5 year old to pancreatic neucrosis and probable stomach cancer unexpectedly. It is easy to think that maybe we caused these things .... I believe it is just sometimes how we respond to all the "if's, what's and why's" because we want closure ... and it is all so hard to comprehend.
Thank you for your comment, I think the main thing that is bugging me is that he was so young and when we first went to the doctor she gave me 3 options and I am not a rich person and could not afford chemo and I took the option of putting him on steriods for the first month and he seemed to be getting better and in the second month he started getting weaker. When I took him back to the doctor and she said that she had done everything she could and he was suffering I knew it was time. He took his last breath in my arms, and it has since that day been so stressful on me. I am 54 yrs old and never had to go through this before. I miss him so much and hope is he at rest. I know we will meet again soon across the rainbow bridge, but I do know how much more crying I can handle.
You did the best you could and that is what matters ... and even more so what matters is that you did not allow your best friend to suffer. That is the best gift we can give our friend(s) ... no more suffering.
I too made that final decision ... it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do ... but because my little heart man did nothing but bring joy and love into my life ... I owed him a peaceful passing to say the least.
It is ok to keep on crying ... it is part of the grieving process ... heck ... I still do ... even typing this is tearful. Someday our tears will become smiles when thinking of the fond wonderful and good memories and lessons they taught.
One thing I will say...you did what you could, you did what you had to. Would you have rathered have the dog suffer to the bitter end? I don't think so... You DID do the right thing, and really Lymphoma isn't really your fault. It's just something that happens sometimes.