Puppy Forum and Dog Forums banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
241 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I went to visit my parents this Friday/Saturday, and my younger brother was home for the weekend as well. While my mom is fully supportive of anything and everything I do with Atlas, my brother and especially my dad always have sarcastic comments to make.

When I talk to my dad on the phone and make some sort of reference to taking the dog to the park, he always makes jokes about it, implying that he thinks I'm wasting time that I could be spending doing other things. This is very minimal and doesn't really bother me.

What DOES bother me is he constantly makes comments about the amount we spend on dog food. He thinks it's ridiculous that we pay as much as we do for TOTW, doesn't see the point in feeding grain free. When I try and stop the cat from eating his food, my dad makes fun of me. When Atlas ate the cat food and I expressed concern for him getting sick (I didn't want him getting sick in their house), he made fun of me again. He also makes fun of his kong, for reasons which I don't even know.

Then last night I got into this debate with him and my brother about the alpha theory and "being the boss of your dog". When I tried to explain that it wasn't true, my brother just consistently argued back that it WAS true because that's what his friend does with his dog. Then when I tried to say that it has been scientifically disproven, my dad started making fun of me, and then for the remainder of my visit, anytime my dog was mentioned, he would ask me if I read a "scientific article" about it.

It's just really frustrating. I don't talk to my friends about the food I use or training methods or anything for this exact reason, but I do with my family because I don't mind debating with them. However, it really bothers me that the only people who seem to listen and truly understand are my fiance and my mom.

Whew. Sorry. /endrant.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with stuff like this from people around them, since the large majority of the public seem to be uninformed about a lot of dog stuff. I felt it would make me feel better to vent to a forum of people who might have experienced similar situations!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,534 Posts
I have to opposite problem with family, it can get just as annoying, I think, when people think that you'll know everything there is about their dog even about medical problems even though you're not a vet or behaviourist or something.

As with most people that you can't get away from and who pick on subjects, don't bring it up around them and if they push for it then just leave, even if you can only leave for 5-10 minutes because you want them to either get bored or distracted with something else. I have to walk around the block to stop things with my mother sometimes. and bonus (you'll get more fit.)

Sadly it's easier to stop non-relatives because you can be ruder with them and use a harsher form of silent treatment.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,403 Posts
It's time to learn the art of the polite burn.

"Thank you for your opinion. I will be sure to give it the consideration it deserves."

Say that EVERY TIME they insult you, with a smile. Then change the subject. :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,950 Posts
I have found out to just avoid topics that cause debates or arguments. And if a family member says something like your dad does that hurts my feelings. I flat out say. " The way your acting is not nice and it really hurts my feelings when you say things like that." If they still want to continue then I make my point by leaving the room or home. Sometimes you need to get your point across. I use to kind of just silently take it. I did for a long time. and it resulted in coming home needing to vent and being upset. I decided to take the more direct approach. which was a huge step for me because I am a very mild person and its very hard to ruffle my feathers. That is my only suggestion to you. Cause this is not an issue with your dog it sounds like your family is not treating you like a grown adult with the respect you deserve. and they probably do this with other things. And the best thing to do is just tell them. Guys are sometimes dense in these areas and need to hear it pointedly and think about things. but you also need to follow through if your upset otherwise your words will not carry weight.

If you say your upset and they do not respect it leave the house for awhile. that is a easy direct way to make the point that they were out of line without causing an argument.

I have a problem with my brother and sometimes I have to do this or other times I just change the subject away from things that we do not see eye to eye on. My brother thinks all pitbulls turn on their owners...and as you can imagine that at first sparked huge arguments cause he would get my parents on his side. and that would hurt my feelings! cause i love my Vader. After some pointed comments about how it I view the way they feel. We avoid the subject. I do not talk about Vader with them. If someone brings it up I quickly change the subject.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
543 Posts
Yeah, I hear versions of this stuff too, and all my family owns dogs, nice dogs that get treated nicely. But I have big dogs, see so that's the difference. Supposedly big dogs are totally different.....like a different species almost. Like I own horses or bears or something. I just don't talk about them so much anymore and I don't have to hear about it. It's frustrating, I know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,890 Posts
Agreed with Cran. If you have dogs or kids, everyone's an expert. Smile, nod, and then ignore. Don't try to convince them, don't engage them, just take the subject off the table entirely on your end. Life will be much more peaceful, that way.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top