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Discussion Starter #1
I tend to not always think of peoples ages on this forum because we are here to talk about the dogs. So I am sure others may think the same at least here or there.

'Please remember there are under aged people on here and we all should be careful what advice is givin out'

I am posting this because of the comments I saw with Pepper. I cannot see how anyone can advise a young person to do anything that might get them into trouble.

I have to think from a parents point of view because I myself am a parent! I would expect my daughter to know better than to go against me especially with someone online. At the same time, kids can make unwise choices here and there. I do not want anybody here to get hurt or get in trouble. Especially when so many people are just trying to be helpful!
 

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LOL I'm one of the ones who gave her that advice!! If her mother is really as clueless and uncaring as Pepper posts, then she doesn't deserve loyalty. I wasn't perfect as a teen but advising someone to get their dog cremated rather than leaving it on the porch with the garbage doesn't happen every day :)

You're probably right, though, but I think the dog deserves better treatment so I broke my own rules and advised a minor to go against her mom. Bad me!!!!
 

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We've all been kids before, and our parents are always evil monsters when we are kids. :rolleyes:

That may not be the case here, but who am I to judge?
 

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I'm also a teenager, and not only i have been advised to do things i couldn't do, but i have been bashed and flammed on these forums out of my personal opinions.

A teenager is capable of doing whatever he or she sets his aim on,if he or she really cares about that something.

I've gone against my mother, and not because i think i'm right and she is wrong or vice versa, i do it because we have different points of view, and sometimes we get into fights over that difference, BUT we have an agreement after all, and put all things beside to focus on that common thought.

Don't think of us as childs that can't do things adults can do without getting into trouble, any peson, regardless of their age can get into trouble if doing something without responsability.
 

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I don't know the post you are referring to, but this is something I have been struggling with to an extent given some of the situations that have come up on the forum in recent weeks.

There are times when you feel like you know something about a person or situation from your online contact, but in reality we have only a part of the picture. Sometimes it is best to step back and refrain from giving advice rather than diving in headlong.... it is hard to remember at times.
 

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Don't think of us as childs that can't do things adults can do without getting into trouble, any peson, regardless of their age can get into trouble if doing something without responsability.
Don't you mean children? LOL

I remember being a teen - everything was SO black and white then. The older you get, the greyer your world becomes (as does your hair :D )
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I'm also a teenager, and not only i have been advised to do things i couldn't do, but i have been bashed and flammed on these forums out of my personal opinions.

A teenager is capable of doing whatever he or she sets his aim on,if he or she really cares about that something.

I've gone against my mother, and not because i think i'm right and she is wrong or vice versa, i do it because we have different points of view, and sometimes we get into fights over that difference, BUT we have an agreement after all, and put all things beside to focus on that common thought.

Don't think of us as childs that can't do things adults can do without getting into trouble, any peson, regardless of their age can get into trouble if doing something without responsability.
I understand how you feel, I swear! My mother was not a great mom still now that I have a kid with a mouth I get a lot more than I did when I was the teenager.

I am not going to tell you what to do :) Just saying we have to be careful what we tell others because if anything bad were to happen, imagine how we would feel :0

Minpins I know you a litle bit and I know you mean well.

And Bearjing I agree....

Like I posted, this was a friendly comment and not mean to put anyboy on the spot or sound bossy! I want everybody to be safe, healthy and happy!!
 

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Pepper seems more than aware of what she's doing and while normally I'd agree with you, children shouldn't do things against their parents wishes, she's really not a child anymore at her age and is trying to do the right thing by her dog. She seems to have a pretty level head on her shoulders and can decide what's worth pushing the envelope so to speak, with her mom about.
 

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The primary quandry with me is that, as someone who had an, um, less than ideal childhood (hows that for non-committal?) I know what it meant to and for me in those few cases where an adult stepped forward and affirmed what I was thinking. I once had an english teacher approach me in the school library and just take my hands and say "Just hang on until you can leave. Once you leave home, you will see, it will get better." That helped me, and I have remembered it for almost 20 years.... Sometimes that kind of support, which is about all we can give via a forum... while minimal in any objective sense, is hugely helpful -
 

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The entire issue you have is that somebody told Pepper to get a ride to the shelter so she could have her dog cremated...Her mom obviously didn't care for the dog very much if she just wants to leave the dog outside on the porch until summer. She SHOULD get the dog cremated if that's what she wants. Just imagine having your own dogs corpse laying outside and you have to see it every time you walk out back, whether it's even covered up or in a bag you still know what's in there and that certainly isn't going to make her happy.

If my mom had a problem with me doing something responsible to make myself happy and for a peace of mind, then I would disobey her too. I was never a spiteful kid, and I listened to my parents pretty good. I'm still a kid, 20 years old, and still live at home with my parents, but I'll make my own decisions in life.

You've gotta let some people hold their own responsibility sometimes too. As a kid, or son/daughter, everyone knows how their parent is going to react to certain things under certain circumstances. You don't know the person and the parent well enough to tell the kid that you have to listen to your mom and dad. It's one thing if it's a little kid, but I'd say it's safe to assume that Pepper is old enough and smart enough to make her own decisions and weigh the benefits vs the consequences.
 

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The primary quandry with me is that, as someone who had an, um, less than ideal childhood (hows that for non-committal?) I know what it meant to and for me in those few cases where an adult stepped forward and affirmed what I was thinking. I once had an english teacher approach me in the school library and just take my hands and say "Just hang on until you can leave. Once you leave home, you will see, it will get better." That helped me, and I have remembered it for almost 20 years.... Sometimes that kind of support, which is about all we can give via a forum... while minimal in any objective sense, is hugely helpful -
I have been a foster parent for our state and had many many many teenage girls come stay with me on an emergency basis (stopped fostering when I adopted my son) I just had to say I think your English teacher was a fabulous person. I love that you still remember this and that it gave you strength to get thru some difficult times.
 

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Snoppy, all of us are looking out for Pepper, both as a teenager and a friend. If you've read some of her other posts I think you'll agree that silently following her mother's wishes in the past has often left her with a lot of grief, and that it's time for her to come into her own. I agree that it's less than ideal for them to have to come to loggerheads about this, and that it does pain a mother to see her child directly disobey her...but parents need to realise sometimes that their kids feel strongly about certain things, and that their kids need some measure of responsibility too.

Cremating your dog against your mother's wishes isn't acting out. Throwing a temper tantrum, slamming doors, screaming, is acting out. Cremating your dog instead of letting it rot on the front porch is just doing the right thing by your pet.
 

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Well. I'm 20. : P Not a teenager anymore... And I sure hope that any teenager, or "underager", who thinks they can carry on online with a bunch of adults, has enough of a head on their shoulders to know what advice to take, and what to leave, and how they should approach their parents... If they can't do that, then they shouldn't converse so much with others if they're too impressionable.

If that makes sense to anyone. : P
 

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I tend to not always think of peoples ages on this forum because we are here to talk about the dogs. So I am sure others may think the same at least here or there.

'Please remember there are under aged people on here and we all should be careful what advice is givin out'

I am posting this because of the comments I saw with Pepper. I cannot see how anyone can advise a young person to do anything that might get them into trouble.

I have to think from a parents point of view because I myself am a parent! I would expect my daughter to know better than to go against me especially with someone online. At the same time, kids can make unwise choices here and there. I do not want anybody here to get hurt or get in trouble. Especially when so many people are just trying to be helpful!

I'm a parent as well, but in the case of Pepper, she would honetly be better off in the home of another relative. Not all parents should be listened to, in this case, Pepper needs to report what's going on because it's WRONG in every way and her mother needs to answer for it.
 

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Wow, a whole thread started about me, I feel special, I think? haha

I can't live with any relatives, because I don't have any relatives, and one but she doesn't live here and has a very abusive past towards children so I would not want to find myself there.

This forum has always been a great place for me, it's helped me answer a lot of questions, and after a year of being here, I feel like I have a huge second family who care about me even though they've never met me, or personally talked to me.

I am capable of making my own decisions, I asked advice and got advice. Through that advice I learned that the vets offices will not hold a dog because they have too many, and also learned that the pound will cremate for free.

I am dreading going to school tomorrow because I have to walk to catch the bus, and walk to come back home, all leading me to eventually walk up and down the porch where pepper's kennel is.

If someone had said in the advice to cuss my mother out, I'm not going to do it. Everyone gave logical, caring advice to a person that asked for advice.

It is clearly wrong, and distrubing at the same time that my mother is willing to let Pepper freeze outside, and she has no remorse walking up and down the porch stairs.

If she doesn't eventually decide to take Pepper to be cremated, to do the right thing, then I will do the right thing. I raised Pepper since she was a baby, I trained her, I walked her, I gave her water and I gave her food. I played with her and I cuddled with her. In my opinion, she was mine, and she was gotten for me. I should have the right to decide whether or not to keep her wrongly on the porch next to the trash.

When someone on a public forum asks for advice, they should receive advice. Obviously if the advice was wrong, a mod would have deleted it. But I am not gullible, I have a mind of my own, unlike my mother I am not controled by anyone. I thank all the people who have gave me advice.
 

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Discussion Starter #17 (Edited)
It is because of what Peppers owner has posted that I stress telling her to go against her mother is a bad idea.

If all the stuff this girl has posted is true, her mother is unstable and abusive and this teenager should be careful. I worry it could go bad very fast.

And I didnt say anything, or know anything about her going with a relative, that is new to me!
 

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Parents need to start treating their teenagers a little more like adults. If you feel strongly about your daughter's actions, you need to explain your feelings, and WHY you want things a certain way. You can't just expect her to obey your every command unquestioningly. This is how kids mature, how they learn to think and fend for themselves, how they become independent adults. Pepper's mom needs to explain to Pepper the rationale behind not cremating the dog; they need to talk about it. That's how good mother-daughter relationships are built. A mother-daughter relationship where the daughter just does everything she's prescribed is not a relationship at all.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Snoppy, all of us are looking out for Pepper, both as a teenager and a friend. If you've read some of her other posts I think you'll agree that silently following her mother's wishes in the past has often left her with a lot of grief, and that it's time for her to come into her own. I agree that it's less than ideal for them to have to come to loggerheads about this, and that it does pain a mother to see her child directly disobey her...but parents need to realise sometimes that their kids feel strongly about certain things, and that their kids need some measure of responsibility too.

Cremating your dog against your mother's wishes isn't acting out. Throwing a temper tantrum, slamming doors, screaming, is acting out. Cremating your dog instead of letting it rot on the front porch is just doing the right thing by your pet.

I am on the same page as you!

What I am thinking is she needs to be careful because her mom sounds a little crazy and pretty mean. That is a red flag! If she cant take the dog away she could bury the sweet pet. I am not even talking about acting out. I simply think people she does not know, that does not know all the facts in her life should be telling her to get on a bus and go off to do what she wants to do.

I get the feeling this is more than just a mean mother!
 
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