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Hey guys,

I'm new to dogforums.com and also to dog ownership! I'm a cat person. I grew up with cats, I got a cat in college and I've since gotten a second cat. I love cats. I love everything about them. BUT, I thought that was probably just because I grew up with them and never had a chance to become a dog person. I really like the idea of a dog. I like the idea of a walking companion, of a fetch companion, of a friend I can teach tricks to, etc. So, a year or so ago, I started researching dog breeds and general information on dogs. I decided on the Papillon. They're small, highly intelligent, have one instead of two coats so they're not supposed to shed a lot, are cute, and I was told they weren't yappers (the vet just told me otherwise...).

I decided I didn't want a small puppy, so I found a breeder with a 9 month old pup she'd held back to show but decided not to.

I got her Tuesday at noon.

She's just as adorable as in the pictures. And smaller than I thought.

It's now Thursday. Tuesday went well. I kept her in the bathroom (with a baby gate up) and hung out with her for a few hours in there. Then I left her for a bit (half an hour or so), she was fine, then I took her for a walk around my neighborhood. I had a class at night, went to it, came back, and she was fine. Went to sleep, she was fine.
Wednesday, I was in class all day. Mistake, I know. By all day I mean I left at 7am and got home at 8:45pm. I left her in the bathroom, not in her crate, with a little food, lots of water, a dog bed, her crate (door unhinged) and her litter box (yes, she was litter box trained. supposedly, anyway. she's had two accidents since I got her.) When I came home, I immediately went to see her, hung out, and took her for a walk and put her back in the bathroom so I could go to bed. She started whining. I'd read the best remedy is to ignore them. So I did. I went to bed. Closed the bedroom door. She was still whining. After 10 minutes, though, she stopped! "Success!" I thought. Wrong. She started up again and whined on and off for the next two and a half hours. Wonderful!

I got up at 12:30 and put her in her crate. After half an hour she shut up.
I got up at 8am, pet her, got my coffee ready,s he started whining. So I got dressed and took her for a walk and let her run around on a retractable leash. Came back, put her in the bathroom. She was whining. Okay... Called my mom, walked outside, and I COULD HEAR HER OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT! Through two walls! Not good! I rent in a condo community, so if I get complaints, I'll have to get rid of her.

I went to the vet today and he gave me anxiety meds for her and told me not to leave her alone for that long. I don't have a choice. I have an hour and fifteen minute break at lunch, but it takes me half an hour to get to school and another half hour to get back.
I'm in law school. That's a LONG TIME not to be studying!
I was told by the breeder I got her from that she'd be okay, but I don't thinks he will.

So here's the deal: I'm having buyer's remorse. I read a similar thread posted two years ago and I can sympathize with what the writer wrote and what the responses said, but I don't have the out of giving her to my parents. My parents live across the country from me. The two friends I have who live close by (a ten minute drive) and like dogs are both highly allergic to cats so they can't even come into my house. That's not an option. I'd say I can do the dogwalking thing but I have no income. I saved up money to buy her and have a good chunk of savings for any potential pet-related accidents as well as vet visits, food, etc. I havent' had a problem finanically with my cats, for instance, but I can't afford to pay someone daily to come.

She's 9 months old, so I don't know if it'll get better. Will it?!
And am I doing something wrong?!
Am I just not a dog person?!

Law school started this week, so I'm also feeling anxious and worried about that, but it's my last year, so it's at least a little easier than first year was.
So, combine anxiety about school with the stressed out feeling I get during finals--but due to this puppy!--and it's not a good combo! I'm also stressed because I wasn't able to sleep last night! I need sleep. I've learned that the hard way. If I don't sleep, I get cranky, but I also can't pay attention and information doens't sink in. That's not acceptable in law school.

So what should I do? Is there a routine I should get into? Is there something I should do for her?
I'm also afraid she's developing separation anxiety!
On the one hand, I'm happy her tail has gone up since I got her and she wags her tail when she sees me, but I can't have a dog who whines and barks every time I leave!
Today I'll be with her most of the day, and tomorrow morning I will, too. In teh afternoon I have a class though and have to go to a job interview and then told a friend I would hang out... If she barks the whole time I'm gone, I'm going to have serious issues with my housing situation as well...

Any advice would be great... Please don't judge me for this. I feel ill, panicky, and anxious just at the thought of having her! I have lost my appetite, am tired, and feel both angry and resentful at her (not her directly, more at myself for having gotten her) and I also feel guilty because I don't think this is a good situation for her.

My only option is to send her back to the breeder...but the contract says I lose all my money (not insignificant!) and have to pay for her flight back...

What should I do?
 

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No judgment. Just sound advice:

Give the puppy back to the breeder. Your lifestyle, living arrangements, and mental health at the moment is not allowing you to have a dog as far as I'm concerned.

Consider it an unfortunate and expensive life lesson.
 

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I COMPLETELY agree with Sendiulino. Not to sound harsh, but you are very ill-equiped to own a dog right now. You are absolutely not giving this dog what she needs, and I don't think you can. Return her to the breeder.

I went to the vet today and he gave me anxiety meds for her and told me not to leave her alone for that long.
As for this...don't even get me started. Don't give her these meds. It is NOT the answer. Your dog is not the problem here.
 

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She is probably whining because she is bored. You are leaving her alone for far too long and aren't giving her the attention she needs. I agree, give her back to the breeder.
 

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So, you've only had her a couple of days. It's a huge, huge adjustment for her AND you, and the next few weeks will probably be one of the most stressful times in your relationship. I'm a huge, huge fan of getting the 6-9 month old puppy, but one disadvantage is that she's had longer to get into a routine at the breeder's and she might take a little longer to settle in to a new home and new routine than a younger puppy might. She's probably also used to having other dogs around all the time (which should not be taken as a suggestion to get another dog).

If you really want this dog, I think that you can find a way to make things work with your schedule, but it will involve a lot of effort and problem-solving... possibly recruiting friends, family, and/or neighbors to help with her on your longer school days or investing in something like dog daycare. A lot of training, patience, exercising her, and educating yourself about what dogs need.

Having said that, if you don't think you can (or want to) handle it, I think the sooner you admit that to yourself the better. No need to put yourself or the pooch through a lot of unneeded stress just to try to prove something to yourself or others.
 

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As for this...don't even get me started. Don't give her these meds. It is NOT the answer. Your dog is not the problem here.
I was pretty floored about that part myself... if she does keep the dog, I hope she at least gets another vet. Preferably one who knows something about dogs ... you'd think that would be a given :p
 

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The first thing that popped out at me was that it didn't sound like you spent that much time with her. I mean, even in the same area. You had her in the bathroom, hung out a bit in there with her, walked her a bit, but otherwise, (unless I misunderstood) you pretty much just left her in the bathroom. That's not really the way to get her used to you or her new home, IMO.

I'm a big fan of having a puppy nearby where you can supervise them. When you need to shower, cook, do laundry, or something else that will keep you from directly supervising her, then, yes, confine her. And, when you have to leave, yes, confine her. But, otherwise, why can't she be closer to you, in the living area of the home? Especially at bedtime.

One of the first things people recommend is putting the crate in your bedroom at night. Even just hearing you and smelling you can absolutely comfort her. If she whines, yes, ignore her. But, you can easily ignore her when her crate's in your room. Well, ok, not easily, not if you want to get some sleep. But, that's part of owning a puppy. Let her be near you, though.

Also, she's had longer than normal to get used to her home at the breeder. She's still young, and now in a new home where she's scared, unsure, there are new sights, sounds, smells, people, and most of her time is in a bathroom, with just visits from you.
Let her LIVE with you.

As for leaving her alone for that long a time: can you get a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative to come let her out, and interact with her for 30 mintues or so? Can you hire a dog walker? Doggy daycare?

A dog/puppy can adapt, and I think it might be difficult, but do-able. But, that depends on if you want to put the work in. Cats are so independent. Dogs aren't. She needs your company, at least when you ARE home. You need to make arrangements so she'll well taken care of. If you don't think you can find someone to come let her out during the day, and you can't come home, you really need to rethink it...
 

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I am not sure if you were aware but Paps are EXTREMELY hyper. I am not sure how long you are walking her but it needs to be a 30min-1hr walk/jog. Keeping her in the bathroom for most of the day is not going to help with whining and behavior problems. I would also suggest giving her back to the breeder. It does not sound like you were ready, but also you may have chose the wrong breed.
 

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Send her back and consider it an expensive lesson learned. Medication can not remedy the fact that you don't have adequate time for a pup.
 

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You could really make it work if you boned up on dogs and put your mind to it. Most of us did with our first dogs. :) But if putting in a lot of effort (and puppies are a lot of effort) is NOT something that in the end sounds appealing to you, changing your life style and every thing included, I would return her as quickly as possible.
 

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I'm sorry but Papillons LOVE their humans and they really don't do well being alone for so long. I would never, ever, EVER leave my dog home ALONE for more than 8 hours without having someone at least come over in the afternoon to let him out and play with him for a bit.

Papillons are also VERY energetic dogs. Mine is 2 already and STILL isn't calm. He's a ball of energy and I have trouble keeping up with him. I really think you should return the puppy to the breeder. It doesn't sound like you will be able to make the situation work. Normally, I'd say that being in school and away for that many hours is doable, but ONLY if you are willing to hire a dogwalker, have a neighbour go over, or spend $$ on daycare so that the puppy doesn't have to be alone for 11 hours! That's just horrible! I would feel so bad if my dog was alone for 11 hours a day! The only alternatives require you to spend money and it doesn't sound like you have the funds.

It's going to be better for both you and the dog in the long run if you return her. I can foresee her developing severe problems in the future if she's continued to be left alone for such long hours and such minimal human contact, ESPECIALLY for a breed like a Papillon. Did your research not tell you that they are a very velcro breed? Mine follows me everywhere I go, even if it's just to the bathroom. He sits by me when I cook, and sleeps on my bed. I would never ever keep a Papillon (or any other velcro breed for that matter) alone in a bathroom for so many hours a day.
 

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Hey guys,

I'm new to dogforums.com and also to dog ownership! I'm a cat person. I grew up with cats, I got a cat in college and I've since gotten a second cat. I love cats. I love everything about them. BUT, I thought that was probably just because I grew up with them and never had a chance to become a dog person. I really like the idea of a dog. I like the idea of a walking companion, of a fetch companion, of a friend I can teach tricks to, etc. So, a year or so ago, I started researching dog breeds and general information on dogs. I decided on the Papillon. They're small, highly intelligent, have one instead of two coats so they're not supposed to shed a lot, are cute, and I was told they weren't yappers (the vet just told me otherwise...).

I decided I didn't want a small puppy, so I found a breeder with a 9 month old pup she'd held back to show but decided not to.

I got her Tuesday at noon.

She's just as adorable as in the pictures. And smaller than I thought.

It's now Thursday. Tuesday went well. I kept her in the bathroom (with a baby gate up) and hung out with her for a few hours in there. Then I left her for a bit (half an hour or so), she was fine, then I took her for a walk around my neighborhood. I had a class at night, went to it, came back, and she was fine. Went to sleep, she was fine.
Wednesday, I was in class all day. Mistake, I know. By all day I mean I left at 7am and got home at 8:45pm. I left her in the bathroom, not in her crate, with a little food, lots of water, a dog bed, her crate (door unhinged) and her litter box (yes, she was litter box trained. supposedly, anyway. she's had two accidents since I got her.) When I came home, I immediately went to see her, hung out, and took her for a walk and put her back in the bathroom so I could go to bed. She started whining. I'd read the best remedy is to ignore them. So I did. I went to bed. Closed the bedroom door. She was still whining. After 10 minutes, though, she stopped! "Success!" I thought. Wrong. She started up again and whined on and off for the next two and a half hours. Wonderful!

I got up at 12:30 and put her in her crate. After half an hour she shut up.
I got up at 8am, pet her, got my coffee ready,s he started whining. So I got dressed and took her for a walk and let her run around on a retractable leash. Came back, put her in the bathroom. She was whining. Okay... Called my mom, walked outside, and I COULD HEAR HER OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT! Through two walls! Not good! I rent in a condo community, so if I get complaints, I'll have to get rid of her.

I went to the vet today and he gave me anxiety meds for her and told me not to leave her alone for that long. I don't have a choice. I have an hour and fifteen minute break at lunch, but it takes me half an hour to get to school and another half hour to get back.
I'm in law school. That's a LONG TIME not to be studying!
I was told by the breeder I got her from that she'd be okay, but I don't thinks he will.

So here's the deal: I'm having buyer's remorse. I read a similar thread posted two years ago and I can sympathize with what the writer wrote and what the responses said, but I don't have the out of giving her to my parents. My parents live across the country from me. The two friends I have who live close by (a ten minute drive) and like dogs are both highly allergic to cats so they can't even come into my house. That's not an option. I'd say I can do the dogwalking thing but I have no income. I saved up money to buy her and have a good chunk of savings for any potential pet-related accidents as well as vet visits, food, etc. I havent' had a problem finanically with my cats, for instance, but I can't afford to pay someone daily to come.

She's 9 months old, so I don't know if it'll get better. Will it?!
And am I doing something wrong?!
Am I just not a dog person?!

Law school started this week, so I'm also feeling anxious and worried about that, but it's my last year, so it's at least a little easier than first year was.
So, combine anxiety about school with the stressed out feeling I get during finals--but due to this puppy!--and it's not a good combo! I'm also stressed because I wasn't able to sleep last night! I need sleep. I've learned that the hard way. If I don't sleep, I get cranky, but I also can't pay attention and information doens't sink in. That's not acceptable in law school.

So what should I do? Is there a routine I should get into? Is there something I should do for her?
I'm also afraid she's developing separation anxiety!
On the one hand, I'm happy her tail has gone up since I got her and she wags her tail when she sees me, but I can't have a dog who whines and barks every time I leave!
Today I'll be with her most of the day, and tomorrow morning I will, too. In teh afternoon I have a class though and have to go to a job interview and then told a friend I would hang out... If she barks the whole time I'm gone, I'm going to have serious issues with my housing situation as well...

Any advice would be great... Please don't judge me for this. I feel ill, panicky, and anxious just at the thought of having her! I have lost my appetite, am tired, and feel both angry and resentful at her (not her directly, more at myself for having gotten her) and I also feel guilty because I don't think this is a good situation for her.

My only option is to send her back to the breeder...but the contract says I lose all my money (not insignificant!) and have to pay for her flight back...

What should I do?
I have two paps. I don't consider them hyper, but they certainly have energy to burn. The problem is, a walk around the block isn't even going to get a 9 month old papillon warmed up. If you're already resentful at the situation (not necessarily the dog), well...it hasn't been that long. We've all experienced that "OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE" when we've taken in puppies, because your routine and schedule gets so wonky and different until you get settled into the change. Are you really ENJOYING the puppy, or is it a case of you enjoy the thought of having a puppy to come home to? When my youngest pap was a year old or less, he chewed up a lot of things (including a wall). 7:00AM to 8:45PM is a long, long, long time to leave a brand new dog alone, especially at 9 months of age. Paps are kind of velcro in a way, they really enjoy being with their people (ei: the center of attention, and the center of everyones life, and the center of the universe itself) xD If you're really, really, really in love with the pup and are dedicated to making it work, I have no doubt in my mind it CAN work. But you need to be 100% dedicated to MAKING it work, because dogs don't "grow out of" things like boredom and being alone.
Oh, and medicating a dog who is anxious isn't necessarily a bad thing, but medicating a perfectly normal 9 month old puppy who needs a little more stimulation and excitement in her life isn't the brightest thing I've ever seen on these forums. It might be worth looking into other options.
 

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No judgment. Just sound advice:

Give the puppy back to the breeder. Your lifestyle, living arrangements, and mental health at the moment is not allowing you to have a dog as far as I'm concerned.

Consider it an unfortunate and expensive life lesson.
Agreed with all of this. If dog ownership is not working out for you and if you don't feel you can change your lifestyle enough to accommodate the dog, then returning it to the breeder is the best thing you can do for the dog and for yourself.

Definitely agree with not medicating your dog. The dog is not suffering from anxiety; she's bored and lonely. She needs more time with you.

I also have a papillon, and I agree with what the others have said about them. Most papillons are "velcro dogs;" they love being around their humans. (Mine follows me everywhere and right now is sleeping by my computer chair.) Most are quite energetic, and they're smart, too -- if they don't get the physical and mental exercise they need, they will find ways to amuse themselves, which can include chewing up your house.

Sit down and really consider whether you have the time and energy and patience for a dog. If the answer is no, that doesn't make you a bad person -- it just makes you not a dog person. Give the dog back to the breeder and stick with cats. :)
 

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Were you honest with the breeder about your schedule? You're really not home enough, IMO, to have a dog. I have no issue with her being in the bathroom when you're gone but when you're home, she needs to be with you.
 

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No judgment. Just sound advice:

Give the puppy back to the breeder. Your lifestyle, living arrangements, and mental health at the moment is not allowing you to have a dog as far as I'm concerned.

Consider it an unfortunate and expensive life lesson.
I agree with this as well. Dogs are way different than cats...as you have probably discovered. Mine are with me when I'm home. When I'm gone, they have each other. Being in law school does not afford you the time for a dog. It does not make you a bad person...it really doesn't.
 

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It sounds like a dog is more responsiblity than you need right now. You should probably return her to the breeder if you really don't have time to let her out of the bathroom/crate
 

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I COMPLETELY agree with Sendiulino. Not to sound harsh, but you are very ill-equiped to own a dog right now. You are absolutely not giving this dog what she needs, and I don't think you can. Return her to the breeder.



As for this...don't even get me started. Don't give her these meds. It is NOT the answer. Your dog is not the problem here.
I think there are times when anti-anxiety drugs can be useful. But not when it is simply for the convenience of the owner who doesn't have time to work with the dog. She doesn't sound "anxious" She sounds bored and lonely
 

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I think there are times when anti-anxiety drugs can be useful. But not when it is simply for the convenience of the owner who doesn't have time to work with the dog. She doesn't sound "anxious" She sounds bored and lonely
And, she sounds like a typical 9 month old puppy in a new home.
 

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You went outside to make a call to your mom while the dog is inside alone and confined? You can sit on the couch with your dog to call her? Dogs need time with people, even if it's not a activity. My dogs are velcro dogs and just watching me cook, taking a nap with me, just laying on me while I type this, helps their need of me. They're not like cats who a little bit of playing with them with a fishy pole and they're good and fine. I think a key to making this work is snapping out of the idea that if you feed her, walk her and shelter her she shouldn't want for nothing and therefore shouldn't cry. She's adjusting to a new home and if she came from a good breeder they gave her plenty of love where her new home is lonely. If you are doing something like cooking and wanting to keep an eye on her try the tether method. You leash your puppy and tie her to you while you're at home. Keeps them out of trouble or going off somewhere to potty, but keeps them near you. I would try letting her sleep with you or near you to make her feel safe. I would also try to do positive reinforcement on her kennel as right now it's all negative. My guys don't mind being confined, but I've associated positive things with it. When I got their kennels, I would reward them for going in to investigate it and praising them "good house". Now if they hear "house", they're happy to go in, whether I give them treats/chew bones or not. I would lay off drugging her as it is just a patch and doesn't fix anything. Anti-anxiety meds can be a good tool, but shouldn't be the first answer when simple solutions hasn't been tried into the dog. Perhaps consider going to a puppy class since this is a first time for you and seems you can really benefit learning all the basics and having a place to ask experts questions.

It sounds like you really didn't think about this. Didn't research on dogs, be around other peoples dogs, talk to owners before even considering such a big jump. Being in law school is demanding and I think you also know that, but didn't think of how it can hurt your pet. It happens to a lot of people though and doesn't mean you can't be a good owner. You just have to get real and dig deep if you're going to do this. A puppy is a lot of sacrifice and can work if you decide on making the commitment. It can get easier as your dog gets more confident in their home, bonds with you and sets into a routine but that doesn't just happen. To get there will be a bumpy road. It can bring a lot of joy and a point of pride. It is NOT for everyone though and you have to figure out quick if it is. It's okay to just be a cat person.

If you see this as a mistake, please let her go as soon as possible to someone who can care for all her needs and is ready for her. I don't know what your breeder contract says but if you can rehome her or you have to take her back, but if you can rehome her perhaps you can recoup some of your money. Don't expect someone to pay 100% though since they're saving your butt essentially. I know the price is hard to swallow if you lose everything you spent to send her home, but seriously its nothing compared to a lifetime of having a dog you don't want. Money is nothing when it comes to stressing out yourself and a dog out because you don't want to lose it. It's a hard lesson learned and one you can take to your law career- be sure or pay the price.
 

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I think a goldfish would be a better fit. It sounds like you don't really want to interact with your dog, just look at her, give her a pet, and then leave her locked in a room all day and night. I feel quite bad for her in this situation and hope you will do the right thing and return her.
 
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