[Frustrated7654]

Me and bf moved from our apartment to a house and we discussed getting a dog. He gets this huge english mastiff that i said i did not want because during our first meeting with him, he sctatched, bit, bruised and knocked me over. Im only 5 feet tall. Bf is 6'4, he can physically handle the dog just fine. He got the dog and disregarded my wishes.

Dog is only one year old and needs way too much attention. Bf works 7 days a week, i camt really play or even walk the dog because if he sees another dog or person he decides to chase or go after he takes my arm with him. I just cant control a 100 lb hyper mastiff puppy. not even fully grown yet. Dog has some obsession issues with my bf too, i dont know if thats even a thing but it really looks like it.

I do all the cleaning in the house and the dog gets his own room, and the backyard which bf never cleans. That was originally the deal, that i would never have to clean up after his dog. I mean, our first house together and the nice clean backyard we moved into has Piles of shit, deep holes dug into the side of the fence where the structural integrity is compromised, even a hole dug into the driveway pavement to try and get under the fence. All the doors and a fence door has been broken by dog including a glass door. Bf thinks this is all no big deal, he doesnt have time to clean up he says because he works all the time, but in my mind he should make time for the dog to train and make him behave.

I know this dog needs a family or owner with Time for it but we do not have time for it. All of the above, believe it or not, i can handle to some degree but then.... the Whining.

he whines all evening and mostly when bf is in the house. Dog constantly wants to be beside bf and whines and yelps when we sit down to watch tv or eat. Bf gets home from a hard day at work and the last thing he wants to do is take a hyper monster dog out for a walk. So he whines some more.

i am at my wits end. Obviously i can handle whining here amd there but for almost a year now, every single night i cant fully relax to watch tv or sit and eat a meal or even read a book because of the constant whining. Think about this for a minute. Every. Single. Night. Incessant Hours of whining that make me sad, turns into frustration and eventually anger. Makes me wanna kill the dog. Bf says he just tunes him out. I cannot and it is negatively affecting my life. If anything its only getting worse, last night he started adding yelps and barks. I had to leave my own house on a sunday night to take a drive anywhere, anywhere just to get away from the whining. And on the way back home just dread and misery because i knew i still had to put up with more whining before bedtime.

Friends that have been over have told me they wouldnt be able to handle the whining and thats just for a weekend that they stay over.

bf said he will rehome the dog i just have to say the word. But i feel like shit amd so guilty. He loves the dog for some reason but my resentment is building up and its affecting our relationship.

So i put up with it or what do you guys think?

thanks for reading amd listening and for any responses. I appreciate your help and time.

sincerely,

**** frustrated.

 

[LeoRose]

Everyone in the family should be on the same page when it comes to pets. If you've basically had a dog you didn't want, and can't handle, dumped on you, and he is reneging on his promise to be responsible for said dog, then I don't blame you for being resentful. It would probably be in the best interest of all parties to either return the dog to his breeder or rehome him if they won't take him back.

(Okay, so I took in a dog without consulting my husband..... but he already had a sneaking suspicion we were going to wind up with her, and I'm the one who is responsible for all the animals, except for the bird, who hates me.)

 

[Bigman]

My dog is whining literally right now.
Really tedious.

 

[Knute]

Short blunt answer.

BF needs to man-up to handle his responsibilities, including the house chores and all chores associated with the dog.

Many times in life we must do the precise task we don't want to do.

Even more blunt.....if BF doesn't man-up, then you should consider how well a long term relationship will pan out.

Good Luck

 

[storyist]

You know in your heart the problem is the BF, not the dog, don't you? Either you accept "I work too much to __" as a major part of your life or you don't.

As to the dog, why feel guilty? He'd be happier in a home where the person who supposedly wants and loves him has time for him.

 

[Lillith]

This sounds more like a problem with your boyfriend rather than with the dog. I, too, would be quite peeved if my husband brought a dog home that I said I did not want and then expected me to take care of it "because he works too much." No, sir. You need to sit that man down and have a bit of a conversation. Or sit him down and dump him. Like heck would I put up with that bull ****** for the rest of my life.

I would imagine the whining is because the dog's social and physical needs are not being met. Mastiffs don't need that terribly much exercise in the first place, but they should at least have a good hour of an amble about the neighborhood or some fun one-on-one training with their owners after a day of being left alone.

You should also consider getting a vet check just to make absolutely sure the dog isn't in any pain which may cause the whining.

If medically fine, whining and yelping is a form of demanding attention. You have to ignore it. No talking to the dog, don't look at him, don't acknowledge his presence. ANY attention is good attention for a dog in this case, even scolding. My dog whined and barked at us any time we were sitting down for supper for TWO WEEKS straight before he finally realized it wasn't going to work. One evening he just huffed, walked away, and went and laid down on the couch. He'll still beg for attention, but at least now he's polite about it...It near drove me crazy then, so I can't imagine what that would be like for an extended period of time.

 

[sydneynicole]

I don't know who I feel worse for, you or the dog. Personally I'd return the dog or find him a good home or surrender to a shelter if unable to do return or find a proper home. And then I'd seriously reevaluate the relationship with the boyfriend. He sounds pretty...lame, to put it nicely. Immature and irresponsible and doesn't seem to care much about you or your feelings, to put it not as nicely.

If you can't walk the dog (which is fine! He definitely sounds too strong for you and it's safer to not walk him, for both of you) then the boyfriend definitely needs to do it. Why did he get a dog if he has no interest in caring for it? I work on a farm 9-10 hour days, outside in CT so currently that means in 10 degree weather with snow and sleet. I walk anywhere from 15-20 miles a day and a large portion of that is pushing or carrying very heavy objects. It's long days and grueling work. I wake up at 4:30am so I can walk my dogs for 40 minutes before work. Then during lunch, instead of sitting down and resting and eating, I drive home so I can walk the dogs again for another 20 minutes to make sure they potty and will be calm until I get home later. When I get home, the dogs get fed and get a 5-10 minute trick training session and a romp in the yard before I even change and shower or eat dinner myself. On Wednesdays I run home from work to throw my dog in the car and head off to scent work class, which is a 30 minute drive during rush hour. On the weekends I try to take them for at least 1 outdoor adventure. I have dogs and I have an obligation to take care of them, physically and mentally. I'm sure many others here go through similar things to take care of their dogs properly.

There's a great Ted Talk out there about time management. We have a lot more time than we think we do. If someone was paying him $100 to walk the dog after work or to wake up 30 minutes earlier to walk the dog in the morning, I bet he would suddenly have time to do so. Maybe you would want to google it and have the bf listen to it.

 

[adogslife]

Well, looks like you got the short end of the stick with this one? End result you got something that you can't handle taking care of and boyfriend won't? On the other hand the dog deserves a lot of attention and walks as well, so something has to be done before the holes in the yard get bigger and the piles get higher and doggie gets lonelier and more destructive? I think you need to sit down and have a nice civil chat with your boyfriend, and tell him the dog is too much for you to take care of, and that something needs to be done, like now, so hopefully doggie can go to a good home before he gets use to you all? Don't feel guilty, you are being honest and that is better than keeping it and neglecting it. Take time to think about it and try to get your boyfriend on the same page. Good luck

 

[pandora]

Have to agree with the above. The dog doesnt deserve this resentment and you shouldnt put up with this guy.
What we he do or you for that matter if you had a baby who cried a lot , some do cry non stop some shit non stop too and puke. So theres a thought where is your relationship going would you trust him to step up if you had a child?

If you cant cope say so. If he wont step up you have to take action but dont let the dog suffer because of bad planning by humans