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Hello everyone. I just joined this group and wanted to know your thoughts on this:

So I recently moved across country to live with my boyfriend. I, of course, brought my dog with me. She's a rescue dog, lab and cocker mix, about 10 yrs old and I've had her for 9. Anyway, the funny thing is that every time my boyfriend tries to give me a hug or kiss the dog tries to push herself between us or makes noise to get him to stop. It's the funniest thing, but I wonder if she's jealous for attention (she used to get intensely jealous with the cat before I moved out here. The cat stayed with my dad, fyi) or if she is trying to protect me from him because she doesn't trust him yet. She doesn't seem to do it as often when I am the instigator of these actions. The dog loves him the rest of the time and the play together and everything, so it's not that she doesn''t like him... hmmm :confused: Thanks for responses, Hope all is well and I look forward to chatting with you all in the future.
 

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It may be that the dog is concerned because it is something he has not seen before.

I had a dog who did this and ultimately the dog's opinion was right.. I rehomed the BF and kept the dog! :D (not suggesting YOU do this.. I just should have listened to my dog... LOL).
 

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rehoming boyfriend. lmao

i wish my neighbor would do that to her bf.

they have a 7 month english bulldog, the girl and her roommate (another girl), are great about picking up their dogs droppings. The bf however... i've seen him walk the dog and just walk away after their dog poo's. doesn't pick it up. makes me more than a little angry, as everone else in our condo area vigilantly picks up after their dog. this guy is just too frikkin lazy to pick his dogs droppings up. he's a thug wanna be, with the way he dresses and acts
 

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My dogs do the same thing. And even if we leave them out of the room they start going crazy as soon as we start being intimate. They like us both and seem to be bonded to both of us, so it's not really a protection thing...It's funny, though.
 

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My dogs do the same thing. And even if we leave them out of the room they start going crazy as soon as we start being intimate. They like us both and seem to be bonded to both of us, so it's not really a protection thing...It's funny, though.
Maybe they are like "OMG OMG you think they gonna..?" "Yeah, they gonna!" "No way!" "Shhh! Maybe we can hear!" "Oh Oh, they are!!" "See! I told you they gonna!" "Yeah, they did!" "Hey I wonder it feels like" "Maybe next time we should ask" "Yeah, we should totally ask!"
 

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When she does it, BOTH of you turn your back and IGNORE her. Give her NO attention, act like she doesn't exist, walk away from her if nessesary. When she SITS and relaxes PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE.
 

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I had a horse once that would step on my boyfriend's toe everytime he hugged me. She was actually a bit dog-like in a lot of ways.
 

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Your dog is doing this for the same reason some dogs do not like to receive hugs. Dogs do not hug each other. When their "arms" go on another dog it is a sign of aggression. Imagine when one dog puts his front legs on the shoulder of another dog - it is a dominant stance. Your dog thinks that is what your boyfriend is doing. It explains why he doesn't mind when you initiate the contact but he does mind when the boyfriend initiates. He is protecting your dominance.

It is a good sign, actually. It shows that your dog views you highly and thinks you ought to be respected. The best way to stop this behavior is to tell your dog to "sit" and "stay" when your boyfriend hugs you. Also, have the boyfriend give the dog commands on a regular basis. When your dog sees the boyfriend as dominant to him (the dog), the problem should get better.

Good luck.
 

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I would try something a bit different than ignoring the dog, or issuing commands to her before hugging your boyfriend. I would toss a few of her favorite treats as I approached the boyfriend, and keep dropping a few more treats as we hugged.
 

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When their "arms" go on another dog it is a sign of aggression. Imagine when one dog puts his front legs on the shoulder of another dog - it is a dominant stance.
Aggression does not = dominance.

Your dog thinks that is what your boyfriend is doing.
How do you determine what the dog is "thinking" exactly?

It explains why he doesn't mind when you initiate the contact but he does mind when the boyfriend initiates. He is protecting your dominance.
I think you are confused over the definition of dominance. Dominance is NOT a characteristic of the animal. It is simply the description of the winner in a contest. We love pizza, there's one slice on the table, we both reach for it, I get it and eat it, I am dominant. We love apple pie, there's one slice on the table, you get it and eat it, I am submissive. The labels dominant and submissive are just that, labels. They are not what the dog IS relative to anyone else.

I would ask the question, if her boyfriend hugs her what resource is being contested? Likely none. It's likely the dog is simply not familiar with the novelty of someone hugging the OP.
 

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I would ask the question, if her boyfriend hugs her what resource is being contested? Likely none. It's likely the dog is simply not familiar with the novelty of someone hugging the OP.

I would say that it is possible the OP is the Resource...but I agree that this could possible be just something that is new to the dog and he/she is expressing his/her "stress" over it...(for lack of a better word )
 

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It's also not true that dogs don't hug. My akita/chow, when I get home from a long day and let her out of the crate, will come up to me, jump up, put her "arms" around my shoulders and lick my face. If you don't call that a hug, what is? And it's not just random jumping with excitement like Banjo. She has the intent to put her front legs around me in a hug. I don't know if her previous owner taught her this or what.
 

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Wally tries to do that to me too (except...being about 2 feet tall makes that a task he can't complete).

I call it dog-hugging - as it's about the next best thing since they don't have arms that move like ours and can't really wrap like a human/primate hug.

I think you are confused over the definition of dominance. Dominance is NOT a characteristic of the animal. It is simply the description of the winner in a contest. We love pizza, there's one slice on the table, we both reach for it, I get it and eat it, I am dominant. We love apple pie, there's one slice on the table, you get it and eat it, I am submissive. The labels dominant and submissive are just that, labels. They are not what the dog IS relative to anyone else.
Dominance may not be a characteristic - but I believe it can be a behavior. If I but my hand on your shoulder and say "that pie is mine" and you get up and leave - that's also dominance. I don't have to "win" the pie - I just have to stop you from attempting to get it.

As far as knowing what a dog is thinking - since dogs don't lie, they display their thoughts through actions. It's why I can say Wally's thinking "I need to get out and go bathroom!" when he spins around at the door. Am I in his head? No. But his actions are a window to his mind and what he is thinking.

The idea you can not at all ever never 0% be able to know what a dog is thinking is overstating it, imo.
 

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While aggression does not always equal dominance dogs are seeking dominance through aggression - they are aggressive in their persuit of dominance. And it is obvious what he is "thinking" through his actions.

As for whether or not dogs "hug" dogs naturally lick faces to great eachother. Especially more submissive dogs will lick more dominant dog's faces. Your dog puts his paws on your shoulders for balance. He does not have the same intent in his actions as two humans have when they hug. Yes it is a greeting, but this dog probably does not see it that way - hence the response.
 

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I agree that it sounds like resource guarding and that it should be stopped now. It's not cute or funny, it really can be dangerous. People are indeed resources--or at least their attention is a resource and people provide resources to the dog. The advice of ignoring the dog when she is attempting to guard you is good advice (ignoring the behavior will make it go "extinct"), but you might want to turn your side, not your back, to her and simply avoid making eye contact.
 

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Okay, I understand that that's the case with most dogs. Banjo, when she puts her legs around you, it's definitely for balance. Aurora, however, seems to have a bit more intent about it. She really seems to be trying to copy a human hug. She's not bouncing off the walls, she very calmly reaches up, wraps her arms around me, and gives me a gentle lick. I see the difference with Banjo, where she's just trying to get to me, with paws and tongue and anything she can.
 

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I think you are confused over the definition of dominance. Dominance is NOT a characteristic of the animal. It is simply the description of the winner in a contest. We love pizza, there's one slice on the table, we both reach for it, I get it and eat it, I am dominant. We love apple pie, there's one slice on the table, you get it and eat it, I am submissive. The labels dominant and submissive are just that, labels. They are not what the dog IS relative to anyone else.

uh.. no offense, but you may want to actually look up dominance before saying that.

dominance IS a characteristic imo, bismarck and my neighbors dog constantly have dominance issues, biz tries to hump the neighbor dog, proving his dominance, the neighbor dog tries the same thing on biz.
heck, look at wolves (of which dogs are related too), they have a dominant pair, the alpha's, that rule by aggression.
 

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heck, look at wolves (of which dogs are related too), they have a dominant pair, the alpha's, that rule by aggression.
"Alpha" wolves do not "rule by aggression." The alpha wolves are allowed to rule by their ability to lead and make decisions.
 

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I agree that it sounds like resource guarding and that it should be stopped now. It's not cute or funny, it really can be dangerous. People are indeed resources--or at least their attention is a resource and people provide resources to the dog. The advice of ignoring the dog when she is attempting to guard you is good advice (ignoring the behavior will make it go "extinct"), but you might want to turn your side, not your back, to her and simply avoid making eye contact.
A better word for it is possessiveness. Resource guarding is a good way to explain it because it is somewhat similar to when you try to take away or share a prized toy with a dog you get a similar response, but it's even more like the jealous boyfriend who wants to fight a guy at the bar because he looked at his girl funny. You are his female, he possesses you, and the only one that can stop it is you by changing the human-dog relationship around so that you own the dog, not the other way around. If you think it's the funniest thing it will never stop, because when you are laughing and smiling about his "guarding" (in you dogs mind, posessing) you, you are actually saying on dog language "good boy" and inadvertantly training him to do that behavior. It can get worse, much worse, if allowed to continue.
 
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