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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
A bit of an issue here. Well not with me and our dog but my sister's dog and my brother (does not own a dog).

Last year my brother had his first child, a son. After a few interactions with my sister's dog, my brother decided that he does not want any dogs in the presence of his son. My sister is upset because her dog (pitbull mix rescue) is her child. She believes that her dog is a GOOD dog.

I visited my sister a year ago with my teens. Her dog was not under control in my opinion and tried repeatedly to hump us with his strong front arms locked around us. Each time he was brought under control, he would wait for my sister to turn her attention elsewhere and resume humping. Um, big dog. Very strong. He does have a shock collar and it was used a few times and I felt bad for him.

Her dog eventually calmed down. We went on a walk and ran some errands together and he behaved himself. Looking back, I think that we all should have taken him on a walk first to establish the pack mentality as newcomers to his home. Whoops.

My sister took her dog to my brother's home a few times before the baby was born so the dog knows of my brother and his wife. Her dog was mostly good except that they gave him a bone once for a distraction and he made a mess on the carpet. My brother and his wife were not pleased. They purchased a new carpet.

I understand my brother's concern. However our sister is offended and believes that by keeping her dog away from the new baby (now toddler) will cause a further rift in their relationship. She is currently building a new home and says she will refuse to put her dog in another room when guests are visiting.

Idk...I am not really sure what my sister and brother should do. Both are rather set on their decisions and I am not sure if one is right or wrong. Those that don't have dogs don't know how to deal with dogs. That being said as a dog owner myself, I wasn't convinced that my sister really had her dog under control and if my kids were toddlers I might feel the same as my brother. Has nothing to do with breed and all to do with the owners.

Any words of wisdom please?
 

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Dominance between dogs and humans isn't a thing, but this does sound like an overexcited, untrained dog. I wouldn't take a little kid around it, either, and that has nothing to do with the breed (pits in general are known for being very human-friendly).

I think the brother is completely within his rights to not want the dog visiting his house or "playing" with his young son. And the sister is within her rights to not want to put the dog away when people visit her house (as long as she's prepared to deal with people not wanting to visit). Basically: their house, their rules.

I don't know what any of this has to do with you, though. This is between them. Don't get involved.
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
You are right -- that I should not be involved. They both came to me for help though since I own a dog. Apologies using dominance as an incorrect term. It makes me sad to say that the dog really is untrained....if I told that to my sister she would likely cut me off.
 

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It's too bad, really. With some more exercise and training, that dog would probably be fantastic.

I guess if your siblings come to you about this again, you could just say "your house, your rules" (or your dog/kid, your rules), and that you don't need to be involved. Would that be easier than appearing to take sides?
 

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My Dads wife is afraid of dogs, my sister is afraid of GSD's, (pointed ear dogs) I respect it. I put my dogs away at my own home when family comes to visit , my dogs don't think anything of it. I travel with my dogs to their homes. my family is happy that I bring them, happy to accommodate the dogs in the house with me, sleep in the room with me, and again I set my dogs up that is a comforting to everyone. ( baby gated areas where they are a part of the household but contained) My dogs are happy to be on a road trip.....

respect and not take it personal....
 

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Crate the dog when people visit. No need to have anyone interact with the dog. If you go to your brother's and bring the dog, bring a crate and crate him (in the car or out of the car in the shade if it is hot).

I have never understood why people want their pet dog to interact with guests or other family that they see once in awhile. Keep them separate. It works really well for everyone.
 

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Dominance between people and dogs isn't a thing. It's just an untrained, overexcited dog (i.e., the humping, which is simply an excitement behavior, not a bid of 'dominance.).

If your brother doesn't want the dog around his kid, that's fine. If your sister won't put the dog away when people visit her house, that's fine, too. Her dog, her house, her rules. Her decision. If your brother chooses not to visit her, that is also his decision. Nothing you can do about it, and likely what you have to say will be offensive to the other party.

You should probably just stay out of it. Sometimes people just need to figure things out themselves.
 

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I might put in my two cents worth then drop it.

Agree that they are both right IF dog is well behaved but it doesn't sound like your sister has a clue. Toddlers and dogs are a bad combination at best of times. I'd maybe have leashed dog and toddler in same room but zero touching allowed with cookies all around for good behavior. Dog touch might be scary for toddler, toddler touch can be grabby and jerky and upset the dog.

When I visit where dogs aren't welcome I keep them in the car crated if weather allows [2 hour drive for dinner then home] and go out and walk them every so often. At Thanksgiving both dogs were leashed the whole time and Bucky was muzzled because of a resident cat and well, Bucky bites. Ginger was in heaven and both dogs had a great time with all the extra walks they got during the 2 night visit. When people come to visit dogs are either on leash, crated or in a back room at least until the dog calms down. It is a good idea to take a walk together before going in the house, really helps relax the dog when new people are around, nothing to do with dominance though.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
It's too bad, really. With some more exercise and training, that dog would probably be fantastic.

I guess if your siblings come to you about this again, you could just say "your house, your rules" (or your dog/kid, your rules), and that you don't need to be involved. Would that be easier than appearing to take sides?
I like your suggestion but believe me, I am not about to take sides and I hope that you don't think that that was what I was implying. My relationship with my siblings is too important for that. Honestly I was hoping for some good ideas on here so that I could help foster a compromise because both siblings are very set on their stance. That a dog and a toddler should cause a rift between my siblings would be very sad, don't you think?
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Crate the dog when people visit. No need to have anyone interact with the dog. If you go to your brother's and bring the dog, bring a crate and crate him (in the car or out of the car in the shade if it is hot).

I have never understood why people want their pet dog to interact with guests or other family that they see once in awhile. Keep them separate. It works really well for everyone.

I agree with the crate except that they don't have a crate. I absolutely feel that it is not right to bring a dog into someone else's home either without asking; I would never do that with my dog.

My brother is not even open to going on dog walks because he is very protective and worried for his son.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Dominance between people and dogs isn't a thing. It's just an untrained, overexcited dog (i.e., the humping, which is simply an excitement behavior, not a bid of 'dominance.).

If your brother doesn't want the dog around his kid, that's fine. If your sister won't put the dog away when people visit her house, that's fine, too. Her dog, her house, her rules. Her decision. If your brother chooses not to visit her, that is also his decision. Nothing you can do about it, and likely what you have to say will be offensive to the other party.

You should probably just stay out of it. Sometimes people just need to figure things out themselves.

Thank you I will let them figure it out. As I mentioned above, I made a mistake using the word "dominance." It has been a long day. I will go ahead and correct it in my original post now since it is throwing everyone off.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I might put in my two cents worth then drop it.

Agree that they are both right IF dog is well behaved but it doesn't sound like your sister has a clue. Toddlers and dogs are a bad combination at best of times. I'd maybe have leashed dog and toddler in same room but zero touching allowed with cookies all around for good behavior. Dog touch might be scary for toddler, toddler touch can be grabby and jerky and upset the dog.

When I visit where dogs aren't welcome I keep them in the car crated if weather allows [2 hour drive for dinner then home] and go out and walk them every so often. At Thanksgiving both dogs were leashed the whole time and Bucky was muzzled because of a resident cat and well, Bucky bites. Ginger was in heaven and both dogs had a great time with all the extra walks they got during the 2 night visit. When people come to visit dogs are either on leash, crated or in a back room at least until the dog calms down. It is a good idea to take a walk together before going in the house, really helps relax the dog when new people are around, nothing to do with dominance though.
Good advice except that my sister is unwilling to crate, leash or put her dog in another room. Sounds like leaving the dog in the car is also off the table. She really wants her dog to have free reign wherever he goes -- including their own home. I agree that dogs and toddlers are a tricky combination -- particularly for those that don't have dogs.

Also, I removed the word dominance from my original post. My mistake. As I mentioned in reply to someone else, it has been a long day listening to both sides. I just want my siblings to be happy and get along. Peace.
 

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I like your suggestion but believe me, I am not about to take sides and I hope that you don't think that that was what I was implying. My relationship with my siblings is too important for that. Honestly I was hoping for some good ideas on here so that I could help foster a compromise because both siblings are very set on their stance. That a dog and a toddler should cause a rift between my siblings would be very sad, don't you think?
I definitely didn't think you were taking sides -- on the contrary, you seem worried about upsetting either sibling. That's why I suggest noncommittal answers and to let them work it out on their own. If you accidentally say the wrong thing here, one of them could think you're taking the other's side, and then it'll be a three-way rift.

This could all be temporary, anyway. The kid will get bigger, the dog will get older, everyone will mellow.
 

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Dominance between people and dogs isn't a thing. It's just an untrained, overexcited dog (i.e., the humping, which is simply an excitement behavior, not a bid of 'dominance.).

If your brother doesn't want the dog around his kid, that's fine. If your sister won't put the dog away when people visit her house, that's fine, too. Her dog, her house, her rules. Her decision. If your brother chooses not to visit her, that is also his decision. Nothing you can do about it, and likely what you have to say will be offensive to the other party.

You should probably just stay out of it. Sometimes people just need to figure things out themselves.
Best advice on this thread.
 

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Leafy,

I totally agree with not getting involved because, as it was already pointed out, it will end up with: Brother mad at sister with untrained dog, sister with untrained dog mad at brother and both mad at you for saying ''the wrong thing'' (in their opinion). If your brother is fine with visiting you with his son giving both the toddler and your dog very carefully supervised interaction might work. For this to happen both the dog and toddler must be over the excitement of seeing each other or else it could backfire.

What I'm worried about is that your brother's attitude towards this particular dog will probably influence his son's attitude towards all dogs as he grows up i.e. he grows up terrified of all dogs. I think most of us on the thread will agree that we want kids to love and respect dogs.
 

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that is a true concern.. This gal told her kids all their young lives, that dogs that have fenced yards or kenneled are viscous. While at my house when I had all the GSD's. They were scared to death, crying scared to death, clinging to their mother not wanting the dogs to come near them. I didn't know why the kids were freaking out since my dogs are friendly and polite and these kids have plenty of dogs at home. The gal tried to show her kids my guys were alright and telling them to pet them. But she could not undo what she had been teaching them to be afraid of...
 
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