[StJimi]

Ok, how to begin..? Hopefully I won't be immediately crucified for saying this, but simply put, I do not like dogs. I'm not a dog person and never have been. (Note: I am an avid animal lover) snakes, geckos, cats, gerbils, hamsters, rats pretty much anything but dogs I have either kept before or would be interested in keeping in the future.

My girlfriend had been wanting a dog for some time (we have been living together going on 5 years now.) She had always had dogs in her life growing up and I didn't want to keep her from owning another one to call her own.

Here's the situation. My girlfriend is well aware of my opinions of dogs, however this has never stopped her from trying to convince me to get/let her get one. I'm not sure if the planets aligned just right or if I had a brief lapse of judgement or what but, some crazy how, she convinced me and I gave my ok on purchasing a puppy. Going to pick up the puppy I started having incredible anxiety about the reality of what I had agreed to. I would have this puppy, in my home, for...15 years, give or take...and I don't like dogs. I repeat...15 years...and I don't like dogs. I've never been one for quitting on my pets so you can bet this puppy found its forever home but I wouldn't have been nervous at all buying say...a 10ft long Burmese Python or like 8ft common Boa constrictor, I would probably be super excited! But this tiny little Beagle puppy gave me debilitating anxiety. It literally took everything in me to actually follow through with the purchase of the puppy, seriously one of the most emotionally difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. And I have no real reason why other than...I don't like dogs...

So now, as I am typing this, I have a precious Beagle puppy named Oscar sleeping next to me, and I love him. But I don't like him one bit. That...is a confusing set of emotions...trust me I am aware...but not one I am altogether unfamiliar with. For instance, whenever I owned Guinea Pigs, I loved them while I had them, but I doubt I will ever own Guinea Pigs again because I don't really like them.

THIS IS MY FIRST DOG EVER!!! I'm 26, and honestly never thought I would own one at all. From the second we first picked up the puppy, he was exactly everything I was expecting from a dog. Exactly everything I did NOT want in a pet.

Don't get me wrong, I really want to like this puppy, I just don't, but that's what brought me here. Is the only answer to hopefully liking this dog (or any dog really) simply...spending time with them with an open mind? Because that I have done before with other dogs, and after many puppy dog kisses, plenty of walks, countless hours of cuddles on the couch, and games of fetch on the disc golf course with my friends and previous roommates dogs, I still just don't like them.

I'm worried that I might never like this dog...my own dog. Does anyone have any tips for not dog people as to how to be good dog owners? This is less about dog care so much as owner care. The dog will get exactly what he needs, when he needs it, and then some probably. I don't half-ass my pet care. But is it fair to the dog that half of its humans don't like it? Snakes don't care about your opinion, but dogs can 'sense' your emotions so...I'm pretty sure he knows I'm not his biggest fan.

Any not dog people out there who have "seen the light" so to speak about dogs? Any dog people with advice for people that don't like dogs but want to try to like them? I'm sure in the coming years I'll come to both love and like my new buddy Oscar, but I'm not convinced that it will make me a 'dog person'.

 

[pandora]

Oh Dear, your GF didnt make it easy for you either did she? Beagles have that cute cute look but they are a handful and not really a great choice for a first timer.
I do hear where youre coming from.. We have an African grey parrot, he was dumped on us and although he took to my OH he hates me. I know he does, he sneaks along his perch or playstand and nips me if I get close. If I clean him he slides down the door of the cage and picks my head.. I will care for him and do him no harm, I admire him but I dont love him.

Similarly not everyone can be a dog person. Personally I know the names of most of the dogs in my area, I know if they like to play I know who growls in excitement and who growls because they are grumpy I can identify several dogs just from their bark and I love the smell and closeness of my own two boys. Life without dog is not worth living...(for me)

I got this from my dad who would bring home waifs and strays rehabilitate them and re-home them to good forever homes.. He was a one man rescue, hes gone now, but my brother and I are as dog mad as he was.

But my mum is not a dog person. She tolerates dogs, she feeds my brothers dog and she will talk to the dog, but she doesnt like doggy kisses or having them snuggle with her or getting hair on her clothes, she wont laugh at a really rank doggy fart or even consider walking in the rain with a dog.

So far 50+ years in, she survives, the dogs survive. The dogs that have lived at her house accepted that she was the one who would clean their water bowl or give them food but they knew if they wanted a snuggle or a tummy rub she wasnt the one to go to. No one got traumatised by it.
I think the best way to go ahead if you are really determined to see this through is to try to focus on the traits you do like. I watch Basil (our parrot) and I photograph him when he cracks walnuts or plays with a toy , or swings upside down and looks so cute and smart. I admire his new tail feathers etc it helps me focus less on the fact that if I drop my guard he will bite me!

So if you enjoy long walks take Oscar and enjoy the walk, know that with a beagle around you never need to worry about crumbs on the carpet..If you like taking photos do it while you and your GF walk Oscar, use him as an excuse to go to new places and explore. Just enjoy the lifestyle of a dog owner and it might just help you get closer to him but he will get enough attention from other people ..This I can say with the knowlege of someone on their second beagle..

Great name BTW my border collie was called Oscar.

 

[Canyx]

I think it can be okay! If you don't like Oscar but you help get his basic needs met - and if your gf does most of the other stuff like walks, cuddling, etc - Oscar won't have a poor quality of life and he can learn to 'exist' around you and be more attached to your gf. Think of him as a roommate or something. I can't relate to your feelings of not liking dogs. But I have been in plenty of roommate situations where I didn't feel one way or the other about various dogs in the household. I've always loved and been strongly attached to MY dogs. I would say, be open minded to that happening over time but don't force it. The good news for you is dogs form connections with people MOSTLY based on what they get out of those people. If you don't provide most of Oscar's needs and your girlfriend does, you will end up with a dog who just exists around you but does not hound you for anything (pun intended).

It is not inhumane to be neutral towards a dog... as long as there is someone to give them the social and emotional connections they need. However, do not ever act on your dislike. If you act towards Oscar in any negative way (ex. yelling, shoving him out of the way, etc) then that is not humane. But it does not sound like that is the case here.

 

[Knute]

Soo.........

Why haven't you proposed. I mean 5 years living together...... now a dog......I'm sure there are other joint resources........

2 more years and you can claim Common Law.


Open your heart and mind. You will soon come to love the dog and all the personality with character they can bring. Just be strong in mind through puppyhood.

 

[StJimi]

Thank you all for your supportive words and advice, for sure there will be no abuse of the dog in this house! I'm sure that I am really overthinking it all and don't have a call to be so anxious about it all.

As for why I haven't proposed, that's another topic for another forum, you're not the first person to say this to me. (By the way, we have joked about the possibility of common law marriage, but common law marriage doesn't exist in my state.)

For the record, training the little guy is going very very well so far. Less than 48 hours in our house, about 8 weeks old and we are already pretty good at "sit."

 

[RonE]

I come from a family of dog-lovers and have always loved dogs. But I loved big dogs. I thought little dogs were silly. I couldn't see the appeal.

Rather late in life, my parents got s shih-tzu. My father had always been a big dog person, too. The dogs name was FeFe, if you can believe it. I was appalled.

But the first time that tiny dog fell asleep in my lap, my heart melted. Now we have a 20-pound dog (still tiny by my standards) that is a mix of just about every foo-foo breed: poodle, chihuahua, Maltese, Havanese and some Boston terrier thrown in for good measure. He is the joy of my life.

Keep an open mind and an open heart. He may grow on you. If not, it sounds like he'll be well cared-for and well-loved.

 

[Lillith]

Meh, he may grow on you. The anxiety will pass. People who are dog people get anxious before picking up a new puppy. It's called puppy blues, haha.

I think it will be fine as long as your girlfriend is doing most of the work of caring for the dog, and you and the dog can co-exist. You will, however, have to be on board with her on certain training things, like not play biting or making sure the house is picked up so he doesn't chew your shoes!

Likely, the dog will gravitate toward your gf as time goes on. My dog spends 99% of his time with me because I'm the main caretaker and trainer, and my husband is someone who occasionally plays with him or tells him that he smells bad, haha. Everybody is fine.

 

[Laura S]

I think things can change over time and you will love your dog. My family did not want to buy a puppy for a long time, but agreed. It's been 7 years and everyone loves this dog very much. Give yourself time.

 

[RonE]

OP hasn't been here for 7 months.