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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hey everyone,

I feel a bit silly posting this, and I'd like to say up front that I love my dog (an 11-week-old Bernedoodle named Abra) and wouldn't ever want her to change. However, I can't help but feel a bit bummed out. I work from home and spend most of the time with Abra - taking her outside, playing, exercise, training, some cuddling when she feels like it - and she's always a bit "meh" towards me. Then when my wife gets home after work, Abra goes into full loving-puppy mode. Her tail will go crazy, she'll follow my wife around everywhere, and she'll completely ignore me. If my wife goes to the bathroom or leaves the apartment, Abra will sit there waiting for her to come out/back and won't respond to anything I do (except to scoot away if I get up in her business too much). When my wife is nearby, it's as if I don't exist. My wife will tend to Abra a bit when she's home at night, but it's still mostly me. Nonetheless, Abra will stop at nothing to get up to my wife on the couch and just sit/nap next to her. During the times that my wife is taking care of Abra, she's inconsistent with giving treats for good behavior or correcting bad behavior, but Abra is content to just be next to her. If I'm gone for a few hours or more and come back to the apartment, she'll excitedly come to the door to see who it is, but when she sees it's me, she turns on her heels and goes back to what she was doing. The only time I see that she may seek me out is if she gets scared by a loud noise or a frightening situation, she seems to run to me to hide behind my legs (although it's usually just me and her in these situations without my wife there, so I don't know who she would run to with both of us present).

I want to reiterate that this isn't a "how do I get the dog to love me more" post. I'm more just curious if it's just that Abra tends to like female humans more, if I'm doing something Abra doesn't like, or some other explanation. Or maybe there's no explanation at all, and it's just the way it is. Any thoughts that you all might share would be appreciated, thank you!
 

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May or may not be relevant... How are you "correcting bad behaviors"?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Not by any kind of aversive response. We have fully embraced positive reinforcement training. When I say she doesn’t correct bad behavior, I should really say that she doesn’t attempt to divert Abra’s attention to something.
 

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my dogs kick me to the curb when my husband comes home once or twice a year... :) My husband takes no responsibility for all the bad habits he indulges while he is home with them lol.. He gets to just enjoy them and they enjoy him. Please don't take it personally :) I love the fact that my husband truly adores them and the dogs adore him.
 

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I’m not an expert but if I was in your situation I would be bummed too. If you’re doing most of the feeding and care and training, it seems unusual. But some dogs just prefer a person? I would seek out a trainer you trust for more personal advice since they could see you and the dog in person for dynamics.
 

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If you work from home and the dog sees you all day, you're not that exciting, lol. It's most likely because when your wife is home it's novel since she works outside the home. Your pup is young, and I imagine as she learns the routine your wife will become less exciting. That's kind of the way puppies are.

Since you are home all day and seem to be the primary caretaker, my guess is that as the dog ages she will bond more with you. But, I can warn you now, that even though the dog is bonded with you, new people might still become the awesomest thing ever and they will be beyond excited to see them! It doesn't mean that they don't love you, they are just excited by the novel new person in their space!
 

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Your wife makes no demands of this dog. Because she really does not ask or expect anything the dog gravitates to her.
 

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Your wife makes no demands of this dog. Because she really does not ask or expect anything the dog gravitates to her.
exactly... main thing is my dogs don't listen to my DH when something is really going on, or when he is ready to quit the rough play and they not finished with the game.. I wouldn't worry about it.. your in the better place for the long run....
 
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