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The quick code buttons seem to be broken for at least a few people on this forum. You insert a picture by uploading it onto another site (imgur, for example) and then writing out [ img ]insertpicturelinkhere[ /img ] without the spaces between the square brackets and the image codes.

However, even with photos we can't diagnose your pup. Your vet should be happy to discuss options for you, and be willing to do diagnostics to figure out if you're dealing with an infection, allergy, or something else, as well as a medication that will work best for her. I couldn't tell if the problem was largely with her anus or her vulva, but it sounds like the vet has diagnosed her with a recessed vulva (also known as a hypoplastic vulva). This condition does greatly increase the chances of yeast and urinary tract infections, as well as other issues, so ask your vet if you need to be considering surgical correction (esp. if she's already spayed).
 

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You can find videos on how to desensitize a dog to handling or participate in what's called cooperative care on YouTube. However, while she's painful there, it's going to be very, very difficult - maybe impossible - to reach a point where she's happy to let you do it. A muzzle is a good option - check out the Muzzle Up! Project for advice on muzzle types and how to introduce it to the dog. If you introduce it slowly with lots of rewards, and practice putting it on several times a day when you're NOT doing painful/uncomfortable things to her, it shouldn't add too much to her stress. Otherwise she may learn muzzle = uncomfortable thing and fight it and get worked up even more.
 
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