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My wife and I rescued a dog a week ago. We are on a trial period before adopting as we want to make sure our 2 cats don't attack him or vice versa, as he was unfamiliar with cats. It is a 2 year old chihuahua, as my wife wanted something she could cuddle. The problem is that it has always slept in bed with someone, and it always follows us to bed, which my wife enjoyed at first. However, I am not a fan, as this presents an obvious problem. So yesterday we went to bed to be "intimate", and of course next thing we know he is in bed. So I move him outside and close the door. The response was constant crying and whining at the door, which quickly rendered me unable to do certain things, as it is just too annoying to block out (even over music). It also had a similar affect on my wife at the same time.
This made my wife realize that this is a problem and we crate him overnight in another room, and he cries all night. He seems to have bad separation anxiety.

My question is this. My wife wakes up later than me by a few hours and asked me if when I wake up I could put the dog in bed with her so she can cuddle with it. I think this is confusing to the dog and would wreck any training to stay off the bed. She says maybe he can learn that he is not allowed in bed when I am there. I am doubtful. She points out that I allow the cats on the bed, but the difference is that they are not a permanent fixture there, and I can gently shoo them away easily and they will disappear. The dog will not leave our side willingly for any reason, he is like a shadow.

Should the dog be banned from the bed completely? Or is my wife's suggestion possible?
 

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You can train the dog to only join you in bed with permission. As long as the training is consistent, it's no more confusing that any obedience command.

My dog is boundary trained to not enter the bedroom without permission. This way, she stays out on her own but I can also give her permission to come onto the bed. She knows it's either wait at the door or jump on the bed, wandering around the bedroom is not an option. I started carrying her into/out of the bedroom but now I let her come in under her own power. (Bed is near the door so it's two steps and a leap for her to get to the bed.) However, she was completely crate trained (as in, comfortable being her crate) before she was ever allowed to spend the night in bed. She was about a year old before she was allowed in the bed.

While the dog may have SA, crying the first week in a new place is not a diagnosis of SA. Allowing the dog to join you in bed because you want the crying to stop is the absolute worst thing you can do. Dogs are smart, it will take about two tries of "Wow, I cry and my humans let me cuddle with them...this is AWESOME!!" and the dog will have you trained instead of vice versa.

If you want the dog permanently banned from the bed, you might have uphill battle with wife since the cats are allowed. But if you just want to have control over when the dog is in the bed and when it is not, that's completely doable.
 

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I agree with Bird-Dog. Make an agreement with your wife to make the bedroom off-limits for a few weeks, and teach the dog to sleep alone in the crate. After the dog obeys for a month, then you can grant permission when desired. However, your wife may unintentionally make the permission more permanent than you want. So, I also recommend that you never let the dog sleep in the bed for more than 3 nights straight... And you can randomize the privilege...
 

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In bed, out of bed, in bed by invitation only...that stuff is easy. The pooch will adapt and learn to live with it. The real problem is getting humans to come to an understanding.

Listen, when a woman farts in bed, she needs someone to blame it on. If it's just the two of you, she's cold busted. having the dog in bed gives her a ready-made patsy. There's the crux of the matter.
 

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smalldog82 said:
This made my wife realize that this is a problem and we crate him overnight in another room, and he cries all night. He seems to have bad separation anxiety.
Because you tried to make him run before you taught him to crawl. You can't just throw him into a crate in another room and expect him to become crate trained. It takes small steps to crate train a dog. There is a lot of information on these forums and the internet on how to crate train.
 
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